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Hi, Sierra!!!

@hi-sierra

She/her. SFW-ish blog for CatboyBiologist. This is where I put my more "polished" pictures, stories, tutorials, and videos.
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Hi! I'm Sierra.

The more curated, managed side of @catboybiologist.

I'm a transgender woman, PhD student in molecular, cell, and developmental biology, and outdoor enthusiast. I love to do stuff like this:

This blog is primarily meant to be a place to collect anything I've personally "made". This includes, but is not limited to:

  • Higher effort rambles about science
  • Writing projects
  • Podcast projects
  • Nature pictures
  • SFW selfies

Hopefully I get around to doing these more frequently!

If you enjoy any of these, consider throwing a couple bucks at my kofi:

This blog is meant to be unambiguously SFW. For thirst traps and anything that tows the line between SFW and NSFW, go to @catboybiologist. CatboyBiologist is also my more active and larger blog. If there's ever a problem over there, this is also probably the first alternate place you'll find me.

Have fun here, and happy trails!

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Transition timeline to end 2024?

Aug '23, Oct '23, Sept '23: the start. Low doses of E plus spiro.

Jan, March: getting as high as I can go on sublingual pills. T fully suppressed, E is still low.

April, July, August: switching to injections. Hormone levels reach normal female ranges.

November, December: started progesterone in Sept. While the main effect is breast growth, Prog also additionally suppresses androgen activity, and I think it affected my face a bit.

Bless transition in all its forms.

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Alright. We need to talk about screenshotting my posts and putting them on other sites.

tl;dr: feel free to screenshot and spread my posts, but if you do so or see someone else doing so, please let me know. Either tag me (same username on youtube and reddit) or send me a link here.

Reasoning/why I'm saying this now under the cut.

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"Death before Detransition" does not mean that I will kill myself if I can't access hormones or be referred to by my preferred language.

It means that there will always be another way. There will always be a stockpile, or distributors, or ways to synthesize the medicine we need. And even if that fails, there will always be community. There will always be identity. There will always be expression, and identity, or some piece of the trans experience, whether it be societal, physiological, or even completely internal, in perpetuity, that lives through every transgender person.

"Death before Detransition" means that the only way to erase my reality as a transgender woman is to put me in the ground.

We'll talk damage control and ways to help in the coming days and weeks. I welcome input on the topic as well- if there's a cause you want recognition for that will suffer under the new administration, let me know.

But for now, rest. Sleep. Take care of yourself.

I love you.

I'm adding to this post so I can have both of these ideas in a pinned post.

Why am I telling you to stockpile HRT and other medication right now, especially since I live in a Blue State?

Will HRT be made illegal? For adults, likely not. Not even in Red states. It will likely be more difficult, require more appointments or "proof", but still be legal.

(For minors, its extremely likely, however, I cannot and do not want to give advice for that situation, since I think its beyond my ability to comment at the moment.)

So. In addition to being on HRT, I also have ADHD and am medicated for it. For those of you who don't know, the DEA issued their own, internal policy change to restrict the production of stimulant medications, to fight what they believed to be a drug related problem with unprescribed stimulant use.

The FDA and even DEA (for some medications) have a lot of "bureacratic" power over medication access. Without passing laws, they make policy decisions that can affect it. Usually, this is just bureaucratic checkmarks- just logistics to ensure that an appropriate amount of medication gets to the appropriate spot. However, the stimulant medicine situation and the current political climate prove that this can be twisted into a political tool.

If this happens, you will be affected, even in blue states. Even with a valid, legal prescription for HRT, your usual pharmacy and others around you will run out of supply at some point.

I generally think that prescribed routes of getting HRT are probably going to be better for you than DiY. Not because I think DiY is safe or unethical or whatever (be gay do crime), but because its likely going to be cheaper and allow you to get levels checks easier if you're talking with a doctor. DiY plus doctors visits for those checks are an equivalent level of care, and DiY only is fantastic as well. But, it just might be logistically a bit more complicated for you. It depends on your exact situation.

With that in mind, you should have conversations with your provider, or follow the amazing advice people have provided in other posts. See if you can get prescriptions filled elsewhere. See if you can get something a little "over" prescribed, but keep to your regular refill schedule, and slowly build an emergency stash.

However, you should also be prepared to DiY. Even if you have a prescription, a couple DiY orders might help you if you ever have difficulty getting it filled, for whatever reason. And of course, getting a prescription in the first place is likely going to be more difficult.

The most likely targets are Plan B (which is no longer protected by Roe) and Testosterone (which is a controlled substance). However, it could happen to anything, and I encourage people to be prepared.

Some guidelines on safely saving up an injection medication:

First off, this is largely written from my perspective. The only injection medication I take is estradiol valerate. CHECK YOUR OWN MEDICATION AND TALK WITH A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR SPECIFIC MEDICATION. This is not medical advice, but rather supposed to give you a few questions or ideas to ask a medical professional about when/if you have the chance.

Also, PLEASE correct me or mention anything you want to add to this!

The general principle is slightly extending the life of your prescribed medication. With that in mind, if you use an already opened vial for a couple extra punctures, but keep to your usual pickup schedule, you can build up a small, personal reserve. It won't be large enough for anyone else, but will help account for margins or gaps in care.

When doing this, keep some things in mind:

  • The #1 concern is keeping vials sealed and sterile. Typically, vials are rated to a certain number of punctures, and the dose they contain exceeds the amount that would be used by this number of punctures. While its a bad idea to drain a vial dry, using 2-4 extra punctures is typically okay IF you know the warning signs of a broken seal or contamination.
  • A lower gauge draw needle may help preserve the seal for a longer period of time. Large gauge draw needles are commonly used for viscous, oil immersed medication (like testosterone and estradiol). It may be harder to draw, and BE CAREFUL- a more difficult draw means a less steady draw, so don't damage the seal because of that.
  • KNOW THE WARNING SIGNS OF A BROKEN SEAL OR CONTAMINATION. The most egregious is a "floater"- a fuzzy clump in your medication. This is a growing bacterial or fungal colony. Do not continue to use this medication under any circumstances. You should also watch out for leakage or holes forming around the puncture sites of your vial. A drop getting out is okay, but be extremely careful- it may indicate air getting it, which is really bad.

Another thing to remember is that injection medication expiration is usually not about how long the injection medication is effective for. It's about how long the medication is sterile for. This is both good and bad news- it means its easy to store, but it can be bad if done improperly.

  • Check the storage temperature on your medication, and always store at that temperature. It can be compelling to try and refrigerate or freeze medication that is normally at room-temperature for long term storage. Generally, this is not a bad idea. Crystal formation from salts, the compound itself, and water ice can intercolate large molecules and disrupt their function. Is this a problem for most medication? No. But storing at low temperatures is usually unnecessary. Generally, medication is mixed with preservatives that take care of this for you. This, however, varies based on your exact formulation.
  • Keep medication stored somewhere that is clean, temperature constant, and dry until ready for use. Do not break or puncture any seal on the vial until you're done with the previous vial. Try to keep as much of your medication sealed and packaged for as long as possible.

Hey since a lot of people are "pointing it out" on my stockpile posts

Yes, testosterone is a controlled substance. Yes, there are limits to how much you can have in reserve.

Does anyone on T not know that?

I'm not encouraging you to do anything illegal. Know those limits or your own safety. Store as many doses as you feel comfortable with to weather your through 1 or 2 temporary lapses. Know your own safety and laws.

I get mildly irritated at people pointing this out over, and over, and over again, because do you think that people don't know? Do you think that people aren't scared? All you're doing is twisting the knife that my transmasc brothers don't have access to security in their medication.

The other point of clarification (that I have said several times) is that no, I do not think that we will be put in camps. I do not think HRT will be banned.

I almost know for certain, however, that there will be protracted legal battles and bureaucratic BS that will disrupt access in a very practical sense.

"Stockpile HRT" is not me being some kind of trans doomsday prepper expecting everything to fall down. It's me telling you that things are going to be okay, but they're going to be complicated and inconsistent, and if you're on medication that needs to be taken as a steady state, you need to be able to bridge those gaps.

And yes, as I have also posted several times, this applies to birth control as well.

I'm probably going to write a more thorough list of my thoughts and advice on the matter soon, but both of these are popping up way too much in my notes to go unaddressed.

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One of the most interesting facets of the human body is the way our brains sometimes "generate" information. The brain can't stand being unstimulated, so lacking sensory stimuli, it invents or exaggerates stuff on its own.

It's like the blind spot in your eye, which is filled in by the brain. But it manifests in so many other ways too. Think about getting up in the middle of the night, let's say to get a glass of water. It's dark, and silent. So your brain desperately tries to fill in gaps of perception.

As you slide off the bed, you'll swear your ears are picking up the sound of your own footsteps, even if you're stepping lightly and without any kind of footwear. In this case, there's very real senses that your brain is amplifying, and maybe even misinterpreting- the pressure of weight on your feet being "misread" as something different.

The kitchen is a place with so many smell-heavy memories associated with it. As you enter it with your empty cup, olfaction centers in your brain will start going wild trying to create something from nothing to fill in that gap. Usually, the experience of this is a faint, almost metal-tinged scent, kind of what you smell on the metal slide of a hot playground.

Your vision is not exempt from this as well, especially in areas of high contrast. If the interior of your apartment is dark, and there's soft light coming in from nearby windows, your neurons cling to that. At the periphery of your vision, you might start to notice the light "dance" a little. Shadows will blend just a tad as your sensory neurons try to keep up with changing lighting conditions. Sometimes, your brain fills in this "movement" as familiar shapes.

The burble of water coming from the sink is a comparative sensory feast for your brain, and it almost dispels all other "false" inputs.

When the sink is shut off, though, your brain is going into overdrive. It just got what it needed, and it now expects that level of stimulation- so it's gonna start inventing all sorts of things. You might start to see those dancing shadows in areas for smaller contrast now- lights from kitchen clocks, color changes or art on your walls, indicator lights on computers- coalescing into strange, thin humanoid shapes that dispel the moment you look at them. Makes sense though- humans are what we see moving around the most on a day to day basis, and our brains just work on pattern recognition. They fill in what you know, and when you add more information by taking a peek, your brain settles down.

Walking back to your bed, you might notice that the footsteps that once seemed so loud now don't seem loud enough, as if the sound is falling dead before it can carry. The floorboards, which used to make you jump when they creaked, now make no sound. Your brain is slowly normalizing, and doesn't need to fill in those gaps anymore. Hopefully that will help you get back to a restful sleep.

You lie down back in your bed, take a sip of that water, and for a moment look at the room around you. As you slowly fall asleep, the last errant "misfirings" of your brain will come together in more "comprehensive" ways. The dancing shadows from your peripheral vision might start showing up in your direct line of sight. They'll probably look like a figure coming towards you, as those shadows occupy more of your vision. Pattern recognition is a powerful thing!

The last moments before you fall asleep are where your mind is going wild, trying to put together so many different inputs, both real and false. You might feel chills, or even a cold hand on your leg. It'll pull from memory as well. As darkness falls across your vision, the shadows may contort into the face of a loved one you left behind long ago, sitting atop a wiery, inhuman body.

Make sure to get a restful sleep, and ignore these stimuli. Ignore the feeling of breathe in your neck when you close your eyes. Ignore the feeling of your blankets parting as you drift away. Ignore the figure that was formed from those shadows. They'll be gone come morning.

They'll be gone come morning.

They'll be gone come morning.

They'll be gone come mo

re: tags

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Okay, there seems like there's enough interest for at least a couple people to hang around.

I will be streaming on Twitch tomorrow (Saturday, October 5th), at 2pm Pacific time!

Help keep me honest and just give advice in general on my Pokemon Renegade Platinum Nuzlocke!

Also, of course, I've never really streamed before aside from using twitch to mess around with a couple friends, so please be nice and help me troubleshoot if you want!

This is just gonna be super casual. I'm not gonna do a whole ton of streaming, but it seems like a nice, relaxed way to hang out with the community while playing some games. Catch you tomorrow!

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Tortoise Storytime!

For most of his life, the scale burger lived in an enclosure that was about 7.5 square feet (~0.7 square meters). This is usually way too small- but he lived in a facility that always had someone on staff, letting him roam the floors while they worked on something nearby.

During covid, I worked at this reptile facility to replace workers who were higher risk and staying home. And I feel deeply in love with this lil bean of a tortoise. He was incredibly vibrant and friendly, was so habituated to humans that he didn't even have an instinct to retract into his shell, and was just flat out adorable.

A year after moving away for my PhD, my old boss reached out to me and asked if I could provide a good home to any of the animals. I instantly asked for this guy.

Unfortunately, I absolutely felt like I made a mistake for a while. I quickly realized that, as busy grad student that worked during the day, I couldn't be letting him roam outside of his small enclosure all the time. For the past year, I've been doing the best I can, experimenting with small enclosures, outdoor time, and floor time to best address his needs. But it always felt temporary and subpar.

As a Russian Tortoise, he has a partial hibernation cycle. For some weird reason, his is inverted with the actual seasons. So when he settled down in the late spring and started pseudohibernation, I could breathe easy for a bit. I left him with some caretakers over the summer, who didn't have much trouble with a sleeping tortoise, and went around having my adventures.

But I knew I wanted something nice waiting for him when he started being active again.

Introducing: the tortoise palace

I had several things in mind for a new enclosure. I wanted it to maximize space in my apartment, maximize my space in my apartment, and have somewhat easy teardown in case I have to move. So, I lifted my bed to be about 4 feet off the ground, and made the enclosure under it. The entire setup is in latched-together pieces that can easily be taken apart and set up again.

I've added climbing enrichment in the form of garden bricks, rocks, and multiple forms of substrate (orchid bark as the main, reptibark, coco coir, and rabbit pellets in deeper dig boxes) but I'll be adding more as time goes on. He's been loving climbing around and I can't wait to see what he'll do with other stuff.

It's an ongoing project, and there's a lot of "temporary solutions that are kinda-permanent" in here, but I'll be fixing those over time. Notably, the walls are pretty low- he can't get out, but I have to be cognizant of putting things he can climb on near the edges. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears! But for now, here's the beast, his unfathomable power just barely contained.

Tiny bit of emotion under the cut.

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On August 27th, 2023, I started Hormone Replacement Therapy.

On August 27th, 2024, I summited the tallest point in the Continental US via the High Sierra Trail.

Both were things I knew I wanted to do for... Well, most of my life, but never had the guts to follow through. Until I got burned out enough that I realized I couldn't spend the rest of my life ignoring things like that.

It took a lot of troubleshooting to actually get HRT to work, but by late spring, I was hormonally female. Changes started to take off, and will continue for years- I'm starting to look back and wonder what I was worried about.

Training for the HST also took time, and again, I don't know what I was worried about. By the time I had "built up" to the HST, I had already done several things that were just as or more strenuous, and it went by easily.

Of course, that didn't make it any less spectacular. The pictures here follow my slow 7 days on the HST, starting at the Giant Forest, over the Kaweah gap, down into Kern Canyon, and over Whitney. The granite features of the Sierras are always incredible, and doing it on foot means a first hand look at all of the tiny shifts in flora and fauna along the way.

I'm slowly starting research back up, and feel way better about it than I did before. But now that I have the skill set, I'm absolutely gonna head back into the mountains from time to time, and I'm already dreaming about more ambitious hiking goals for the next few years. I'm coming for you someday, JMT.

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hi-sierra

BIG MONCHER IS BACK

The solution to keeping cool and hydrated while still allowing for some time in the sun. He can easily crawl out, he just decided that it was easier to go for the clover without moving his lil shell butt

The moncher is cuddling

He's still active he's just choosing to be active while huddling into my leg 🥺

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BIG MONCHER IS BACK

The solution to keeping cool and hydrated while still allowing for some time in the sun. He can easily crawl out, he just decided that it was easier to go for the clover without moving his lil shell butt

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I didn't manage to get a video of this one, but here's the tail of a California Mountain Kingsnake as it slides under some rocks!

I'm fairly certain it's a King, although it could be a long nose snake. Based on the richness of the coloration and the fleeting glimpse I got of its head, however, I'm more compelled to ID it as a mountain king.

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hi-sierra

Just reblogging to get in both blogs lol

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Friendly chat with a rattlesnake

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Anonymous asked:

I want to see the amninals

Posting videos now 🫡

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I'll probably slowly trickle these in over time since they're slow and glitchy to upload

But anyways, here's a marmot I encountered near Arrowhead lake on the Rae lakes loop! There are tons of marmots and pikas in the Rae lakes area, and they're all adorable.

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