i love men and masculinity. surely this is some sort of sign of being an alpha male straight guy myself. *holding my earpiece receiving information suddenly looking shocked* oh. oh okay. oh that’s bad news. and i have to suck them? oh my god

if one more fandom hoe tags this as the cardboard cut out from supernatural I am going to kill myself in front of your family 

can you please change trajectory

what are you asking me boy

of our lives

come with me to a world

where nothing you know.....

is ever going to make sense again.

This is exactly how rank has me acting fr

i know nothing about miraculous ladybug but i think transfeminity would save the cat one

Welcome! This is a popular opinion.

this is so so funny wishing her a happy transition 🙏🙏

I'm mister spine twister. I'm mister curves. I'm mister scoliosis. I'm mister Sitting Hurts

I'm mister heart racer, I'm mister dazed. I'm mister low blood pressure, I'm mister going to faint

I'm the highwayman

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

santa’s creed

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

I’m queuing this on December 26th I’m ready for this

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

I love this comic, and hadn’t seen it on my dash yet this year. Source seems to be SerratedAngel.

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

i hate the notes on this so much so many people are saying shit like "and then the hero shoots the villain while they're looking around!! XD" THAT'S WHAT THE POST ALREADY SAID. THAT'S THE ENTIRE JOKE.

There's a Pukicho post like this I need to find it

Edit: found it

maybe... they DIDN'T miss part of the post...! (starts frantically looking around)

(i shoot you while youre looking around)

and then while i'm frantically looking around you shoot me for real this time XD

Omg you missed part of the post

did i? 😏

(frantically looks around)

(i raise my gun to shoot you while you're distracted but the bullet i already fired ricochets all around the room and hits me in the back of the head, killing me instantly)

Me: Oh cool! I think it's one of those funny posts from 2016!

*checks the post date*

WHAT

Tomato, it's from yesterday and started this november

THAT'S WHY I SAID WHAT

but the post is from this month, not 2016. so why did you say that

because it was not, in fact, from 2016. It just had the vibes, and I found that shocking.

but you said it was from 2016

does anyone in this thread wanna see my hedgehog

omg yes show

ok heres the

Anyone in this thread smoke weed

Probably all of them

what's wrong with him

Saying this as though an eight-foot-tall furry who sips herbal tea with his pinky out, wears absurdly tiny reading glasses, has strong opinions about English translations of the Odyssey, and also fucks like a werewolf wouldn't rule this site like a king.

he would not say that.

I was there when he said it actually

"oh yeah even if your opponent has an unexpected advantage that completely turns the tides of battle (you thought they were unarmed when they aren't) you shook totally just keep going with your current plan, otherwise you're a coward"

he would not say that.

you're just afraid of a big thick girlcock

Whether Sun Tzu would be into girldick is completely orthogonal to whether he would give bullshit bravado advice that will get you killed. He's the "logistics win wars" guy.

His ladycock advice would be more like "The wise general chooses an adversary who uses familiar techniques."

there is a lot we will forgive for girlcock on this site but misconstruing Sun Tzu is NOT on that list

what is happening

y'all wanna see a photo of my shrimp I'm pretty sure I just caught speaking directly to god

why tf do y’all keep tagging this “shrimp heaven now”

light was such a loser cuz he didnt just google the 100 richest people and start writing down names

how would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and find out exactly 100 of the world’s richest people died of heart attacks at exactly noon universal time. can you imagine the theories. light is absolutely a loser for not doing this

[ID: Reply from elumind that says: “Do the richest one every week and see next in line lose their shit and try to get rid of the money. I think of this almost daily.” /end ID.]

The notes on this are wild because people are legit passionately arguing about why this wouldn’t work. No one said it would work. They said he’s a loser for not doing it.

There has to be a *pattern* to it, though, to really get their attention. Like it has to be the same time of day, the same day, each week.

The first one stands up and draws a massive A on the nearest wall before dropping dead. 

Exactly one week later, Thursday at 3:13 PM, the next one looks up, blank-faced, and uses a car key to scratch the word ‘CAMEL’ into the side of their car. There are memes. 

The week after that, in the middle of an interview, the third victim turns to the camera and says ‘THROUGH.’ He drops dead. 

The man who writes “EYE” is in a private underground bunker. Enough radiation shielding to survive a direct nuclear strike. There are fifteen guards posted at the door- surveillance confirms not one of them left their post. 

By the time “NEEDLE” is scratched into the upholstery of a private yacht, people are starting to give money away. 

Like most of us I’ve thought extensively on this since I first saw Death Note and came to the conclusion that the most likely reaction would be people creating more byzantine ways of keeping hold of their resources while not technically counting them as personal resources and not technically being so rich. With enough shell companies, fake charities, and resources stashed in secret or illegal places or the bank accounts of relatives, people could keep most of what they have while dropping right off any list of wealthiest people. The wealthy are often experts at this for tax fraud reasons. Light’s response, of course, would be to start taking these things into account, seeking out hackers and accountants and various other experts to keep track of the actual wealthiest, and the wealthy (many of whom would be willing to risk their lives to stay that way) would use the dying as a metric for what the mysterious killer was using to score wealth and try to find ever more secret methods of resource hoarding. An accountancy arms race would be underway.

I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I’m saying it would make a fantastic Death Note rewrite. Instead of Light making stupid mistakes against L, he could actually put his genius to work in Death Note: The Accountancy Wars.

The holy trinity

Important addition!! https://www.reddit.com/r/inthenews/comments/14bpckz/a_white_supremacist_took_mdma_for_a_study_and_it/

jesse we need to cook empathy jesse

Shrooms also do that

Its time to join the war on drugs, on the side of drugs

If scientists can make a plastic eating bacteria, why can't they make an asphalt eating one as well??

Nobody would even miss I-71 if some bacteria just fucking ate it

Really?? You'll Eat I-71 for me? <3

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

we’ve reached the ultimatum

IT’S BACK ON MY DASH AND IT BECAME BETTER

I see this post every couple of months and it never ceases to make me laugh like a fucking dolphin

I brought it back. Hahah.

@real-british-empire a r t e f a c t, y o i n k

Already got it!!!

@walmart-the-official non broken

yeeep, if you go to older reblogs it’s not broken but recent reblogs are so broken for some reason?? Is there en edited version or smth

I think there was an time where you could basically edit people’s images to something else so that might be the case for this post

reheehheheheh3h3h3heh

*pokes you with my doctor stick as you lie face down on the ground*

*emits a cloud of toxic spores*

Well there’s no need to be dramatic

i physically had to draw this

how much are you allowed to store in jars, spread around your house?

As much as you like, but they can wander in at any time to smash the jars and take it

i don’t know how to explain to you that trespassing, breaking and entering, and vandalism would all still be illegal.

Thank you for injecting realism into the world where the economy works like a Zelda game.

People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.

I love this fucking book

“I’ve said the words kilowatt-hours-per-sol so many times they’ve lost all meaning so I’m going to call them pirate-ninjas.

“So I need to generate nine hundred pirate-ninjas…”

there’s an entire chapter dedicated to him wondering how the cubs are doing while he’s stuck on mars, dying

I like the part where the guys on Earth are like “He thinks we all gave up on him, and that he’s completely alone. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now.” And he’s like “How come Aquaman can control whales?”

“ As with most of life’s problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation. “

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”

Two pages later… “What do you know? I’m in command”

“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.

And my personal favorite :” Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape. Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”

One of my favorites:

“Each crewman had their own laptop. So I have six at my disposal. Rather, I had six. I now have five. I thought a laptop would be fine outside. It’s just electronics, right? It’ll keep warm enough to operate in the short term, and it doesn’t need air for anything. It died instantly. The screen went black before I was out of the airlock. Turns out the “L” in “LCD” stands for “Liquid.” I guess it either froze or boiled off. Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.”