they should invent a doesn't kill you that actually makes you stronger

Vaccines

One of the stupidest things about getting really chronically ill is that, on top of everything else, sometimes all your clothes stop fitting you. I'm trying to pack for a trip and it turns out maybe I don't actually own a full week's worth of clothing.

The TSA scanner mangled the only belt that fits me. Am I a joke to you, God. Are you trying to get me pantsed at the airport.

90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.

Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything​ in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of "she" with "Cheese" and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister

"What were you like before taking the meds tho"

Two weeks ago I was posting about eating cake frosting for dinner.

I very much appreciate the dialogue happening on this post but just to be clear: this was never intended to be apologism for psychiatric abuse. I am aware that medicine has come a long way and that it is not yet magic. I have been put on The Wrong Medication before. That is part of the reason that I have been so surprised to have finally, after many months, been prescribed something that allows me to return not only to doing necessary activities like eating and sleeping and going to work, but also to the necessary level of weirdness that makes me feel like myself.

And also: Drop Dead Fred was kind of a bad movie.

Multiple things can be true!

90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.

Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything​ in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of "she" with "Cheese" and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister

"What were you like before taking the meds tho"

Two weeks ago I was posting about eating cake frosting for dinner.

I feel like it's worth mentioning that being on The Wrong Meds can indeed do the 90s movie thing to you.

Like, if you go on meds and that happens, it's not because whatever's going on with you is jut Too Severe or that you're doomed or only people with Other Illnesses get to have meds that make them feel actually good and you have to settle for "miserable but somehow so hollow I no longer care about the misery" and be grateful you're no longer actively suicidal or whatever.

If that shit happens to you, tell your fucking doctor. And if your doctor doesn't take you seriously, or acts like That's Just How Being On Meds Is, ditch them! Find a new doctor!! Because that is NOT how being on meds is supposed to work! That means the meds are not working correctly!!

Reblogging to agree and say that what was happening to me was (and to an extent still is) severe and was the result of manifold health problems and has taken the better part of a year to effectively treat. I did not expect medication to be this effective. But it is. So if you think that you are untreatable, get a second opinion.

they should invent a cigarette that has vitamins

my doctor gave me a bad grade in Chronic Illness yesterday :(

Trying to convince myself that I cannot call out sick from my own doctor's appointment

Hurriedly eating a piece of cake with my hands before I get in the car so that if they ask if I've eaten something today I can say Yes

Funny thing about covid-19 induced anosmia is that it's thought to be entirely neurological in nature. So there's nothing wrong with my nose: the problem is that my olfactory nerve is fried. This results in my brain experiencing a smell and turning on a check engine light that says "there's a smell." What kind of smell is it? "Gas leak? Fried chicken? Shampoo? We don't know."

This morning I opened up a bottle of soap from a brand that I recall being heavily scented (and which I previously avoided buying for this reason). I slathered it on my face in the shower and my brain relayed its best guess as to the smell:

Ketchup.

New smells I've acquired:

Bleach: green apple jolly rancher

Laundry: cigarette smoke

Cigarette smoke: dirt

Dumpster: dumpster

Burning food in the oven: still nothing, actually

My sense of smell is so fucked that I didn't notice a coworker was keeping half a dozen rotting decorative gourds in my office.

Continuing to acquire new and exciting smells as my brain attempts to bring my olfactory nerve back online. There are a few things I can smell with reasonable accuracy (sweat, smoke, shit), but many wires are still crossed. Such as:

Apples: gasoline

Vinegar: fish

Kimchi: rotting meat

Chocolate: rotting fruit

Bok choy: horseradish

Lavender (a bad smell): lavender (a good smell)

I have been to three different Advanced Radiologies today and all of them were unexpectedly closed, contrary to their listed hours. Is today some kind of X Ray technician holiday that I don't know about.

Their phone tree directs me to their website and their website says they're open and I shouldn't bother trying to make an appointment for an x-ray unless I'm some kind of loser. I took off work for this, Advanced Radiology. I am going to egg your car. I am going to come to your house and plant mint in your flower beds.

Really fascinating to me how getting catastrophically sick can suddenly flip a bunch of random switches in the brain and change things about a person. I love whey protein now.

The bad news is that I still have long covid. The good news is that now I'm getting a good grade in Blood, which is a thing that is normal to want and possible to achieve.

Why is Quest Diagnostics constantly sending me coupons for medical testing. Who is the target audience for discounts on blood panels. Do you think I'm getting those for fun, Quest? Do you want me to forget my jacket in the lab so you have an excuse to call me?

This week I got asked to review my visit there. I didn't go there. My cultures did, but I was not involved in the process at that point! So I am befuddled.

Distributed consciousness model of yelp reviews.

⭐⭐⭐ (10/22/24) Centrifuge was pretty fun but the cup they had me wait in was SO cold. Technicians also would not stop talking shit about their coworker like I wasn't even in the room. Rude.