I LOVE YOU

our story was a pathetic one, anyway

the things i would do for you you would never do for me

don't you know i would kill to be happy

helpless and begging for you

i love you so much i feel sick!!

i feel so emotionally jerked around. i’ve been trying to handle my relationship with someone who i cared about so deeply, and who treated me so poorly and yet so sweetly at the same time, for years. someone who would stop at nothing to get my attention when i wasn’t talking to them. someone that would drive an hour to my house knowing that i probably wasn’t going to give in and talk. someone who pestered me so much i had to change my number. someone who built me up like i was the most important person in the world. someone who promised me unconditional love. someone who made me feel that no matter what, they would always be there for me.

and now they’re someone who ignores me. someone who talks behind my back. someone who spreads negativity and stretched truths about me. someone who has turned everyone that once had my back into enemies. someone who has made me cry and lose sleep more times than i can count.

so i try to remember all the times when they were someone who took advantage of me. someone who took advantage of my family’s kindness. someone who took consent off the table. someone who blamed me for times that i was harassed. someone who didn’t trust me, without any reason.

but no matter how hard i try to reason it out i still don’t understand how they ended up being someone who has everyone on their side. someone who plays the victim so well. someone who hasn’t yet gotten the karma that they deserve. someone who could make everyone forget everything they did wrong.

it’s times like these that i wonder what it all really meant to you anyway

whether my pain was just par for the course or maybe you just lost your way

i don’t want anyone else to feel the way i do with you

i have to learn how to love right