can you guys watch my normal dog for a second I have to run to the bathroom

#listen. you know I'm always down to dogsit for a friend. but here's the thing (tags via @legionofpotatoes)

every time i look at the mystery gang i have this like visceral feeling that someone is missing. but nobody ever is. who are they. what happened to them

logically i know this is them. these are the only people in the mystery gang. fred, daphne, velma, shaggy, and scooby. thats the 5 of them. but something deep within my lizard brain is telling me theres a 6th member that has been, for unknown reasons, banished from this timeline and our collective memory as a species

hey so fun fact.

you’re not crazy

Van showed this to my class last year and then said “this drawing isn’t anywhere online :)” so I wasn’t sure if he wanted us to talk about it outside of class. so I’ve just been haunted by this secret scooby doo character, fully remembering this post in the back of my head, and I couldn’t say anything. But since he just posted it on his instagram I guess it’s fine lol

introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry

her resolution was that if i meet a kid that has the same name as their sibling, then i can eat one of them. their parents won't be sad, because they have another kid with the same name right there. speaks to an uninformed but fascinating worldview

our history teacher tried a similar tack but the theoretical scenario was "the man who invented the medicine necessary to save your wife is charging more money than you can pay and won't accept credit. you're against stealing but you also don't want your wife to die. what do you do?"

our answer was not only to steal the medicine but to murder the inventor because if he's paywalling life-saving medicine, the solution that involves the lowest body count is killing him. we're ethically and morally obligated to eliminate this threat to human survival

did not go the way he thought it would

wait op is 15. I don't want to argue with them. [visibly scheduling a reblog] what day is op's birthday

first of all happy birthday. congratulations on making it this far. you'll find that I edited the contents of this reblog for each of your birthdays that passed since you made this post to include slightly more personal wishes and I'm honestly really proud of you. also I'm sorry about your cat(?), since there was never a good time to say it so I thought I'd just include those condolences while I'm at it. now with all that out of the way,

if you tragically passed before this reblog arrived, I'm sorry about that. but please understand I've been waiting quite a while and it would feel like such an anticlimax if I cancelled this. have a peer take over your spot in the argument if you're uh... you know... unavailable, to put it delicately. sorry if that happened, also.

anyway, to get back on track, digimon was not just worse pokemon

hits the bong and immediately becomes aware of the narrative

hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly

this is how eve got expelled from Eden

I like how bong can mean both penis and that big vertical disk that makes a lot of noise.

that's dong and gong. bong means neither of those things

This edible (fruit from the tree of knowledge) ain’t doing shit.

I’m naked.

GAMING RULE 1: NEVER PREORDER

GAMING RULE 2:

Markiplier not partnering with Honey because he didn't understand how its business model was profitable with how much it spent on advertising demonstrates a level of thoughtfulness that seems absent in a lot of youtubers.

You discover that you have control over a certain thing, as determined by spinning this wheel. We're talking full-on magical girl/superhero/supervillain/your label of choice control.

so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw

About seven and a half years ago, I was #cancelled for making essentially the same post as OP.

Cybersmith, your post was Very different from this one

The Locked Tomb series audiobooks will be re-released in Graphic Audio!

Early this morning, somebody on Twitter liked an old post of mine with a press release from Tamsyn’s literary agent’s website. And it made me realize I had not checked it in a really long time. So I looked, and found out not only that some new translations of Princess Floralinda (Italian and Hungarian!) and Gideon (Greek!) were coming, but that the rights for the TLT audiobooks were sold to Graphic Audio!!!

What does this mean? In short, we will be getting all new versions of each of the Locked Tomb audiobooks, with a full cast recording. That means different voice actors playing different roles as if we were listening to a real audio drama or dramatic reading of a stage play. No idea if Moira Quirk will be involved or not (god I hope so!!!) but this is cool! It usually only happens with really successful novels.

Also I looked up why it says “abridged” and I guess that usually just means they replace something such as descriptions of noises with the actual sounds. So ringing bells instead of the “blah blam” of the Ninth bells, etc. But otherwise it will be the full recordings of the full books!

I CAN’T WAIT!

I’m planning out my bedroom when i live on my own next year

listen

The last poll absolutely blew up and that was very good for my ego, so here's the sequel nobody asked for.