@angrygoomba / angrygoomba.tumblr.com
Why does every therapist tell me that I’m so bright and confident and articulate, can you please help me deal with the gaping hole in my chest
I’m bleeding out over here and they can only think to tell me that love the cut of my jib. Focus Dave!! Get a fucking gauze pack!!
Me: I think I’m a worm, crawling in the dust
Them: and yet such a well-spoken and dapper worm
would you love you, if you were a worm
The everest chronicles
There are a lot of video game fandoms that absolutely lose me at the very shallow end of the pool, but the Sims fandom always makes me feel like I'm absolutely drowning in an inch of water
It's because they let you in and then removed the ladder.
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Showed my Geologist dad a picture of the obsidian knife you had and he nearly said this exact thing word for word. I can't believe my own father would fall prey to this. Clearly you know thine enemy
I work too closely with geologists not to have a contingency plan for eliminating them.
tomorrow i will get my life together. if i’m not sleepy
The best milk commercial ever
wait, THAT’S where that gif is from???
And that gif!
It is indeed one of the best commercials ever. 😄
Also narrated by the very distinctive voice of Tim Curry, which earns it extra points.
hey google I just don't think that's accurate
I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery
People can't just say "I don't like this music" anymore they gotta call you gay and autistic for listening to a band that had one song go viral
just gonna drop this here
When will someone gently take all the internet food bloggers by the shoulders, look into their eyes, and explain that coconut milk is not a neutral-flavored dairy substitute
To be clear this is not me being a coconut hater. This is me saying that making coconut-flavored garlic & spinach & artichoke dip is, at minimum, an unusual choice
dig how Portugal is looking at her
golden lion tamarin
Based on traits from real pigeon breeds. Lower values = smaller part, or in the case of frillback normal feathers rather than curly ones
yes, thanks for checking in
Personal space? Nope - never heard of it.
Is that…… them
YALL THERES MORE TO THE SERIES
black mackerel tabby, black mackerel tabby with moderate white spotting, red mackerel tabby with low white spotting
i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i'm like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can't extract them.
so i go in for that and i'm sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says "so you've been coming here for a while right?" and i am like "oh yeah since i was a little kid" and she replies "yeah, i thought so, there's one note on your file and it's 'patient likes dinosaurs and bugs'"
And do you still like dinosaurs and bugs?
god dammit, just battled an ancient evil too powerful to defeat alongside my heroic allies and now they're all talking about "locking it away" and "binding it in a vessel" we are soooooo fucked
the party mage just brought up the idea of each one of us taking a part of the sealing artifact to prevent them from being reunited again and releasing the evil, no way these dumb assholes aren't getting corrupted 🤦
okay so after a little time bonding with my shard of the blackstar, I've decided that 1) this was actually a pretty good idea and 2) all the armies of the earth must tremble before me
