Why Gathering is a Key 21st Century Leadership Skill: A Conversation with Priya Parker

From modern conference rooms to Zoom, Slack, and Teams, we have more ways than ever to connect and collaborate at work. So why are leaders struggling to keep employees engaged and productive? We sat down with Priya Parker, facilitator, acclaimed author of The Art of Gathering, and international keynote speaker, to learn about how meeting meaningfully is the essential new leadership skill managers need to master to get the results they and their teams want.

"After the pandemic, how we meet is up for grabs."

How we gather was completely upended over the past three years. “The pandemic fundamentally disrupted the in-person workplace, and by banning gatherings, it helped us look at the DNA of our meeting operating system and ask fundamental questions around what was working and what wasn’t,” Parker tells PRHSB. “There may have been meetings on peoples’ calendars that were there for years, because there is ritual around a meeting and it is tied to a set of assumptions. But, she says, “after the pandemic, how we meet is up for grabs.”

For decades, we heard about the importance of IQ. Then, with Daniel Goleman’s breakthrough book in 1995, we started to understand that the frame in which we were thinking about intelligence was too narrow, and we began to integrate the concept of emotional intelligence. 

“What I want to add to the mix is ‘gathering intelligence’,” says Parker. “How we gather today—in remote, hybrid, and in-person settings—is fundamental to an organization’s DNA.”

It seems that how we seize the chance for reinvention is a question of leadership and also an important skill for everyone in a company to develop. When we asked Parker about this, she said, “Everyone needs to understand that a core tool to how they get work done, how they influence people, how they build and form relationships is how they meet. Meetings today aren’t just moments of content and strategy; they're pressure tests of belonging and company culture.”

“The best way to understand a company’s culture today is to pop into one of their Zoom meetings."

A company’s culture used to be shaped by dress code, by office décor, by whether the cafeteria had a foosball table. In a largely remote or hybrid work setting, these physical hallmarks of corporate culture are gone. “The best way to understand a company’s culture today is to pop into one of their Zoom meetings. When we don’t have the hardware for meetings [the tables, chairs, face-to-face interactions where we can read body language, tone, etc.], we as leaders are responsible for the software of connection,” Parker says.

Here are a few tips Parker shared for what managers should ask their employees to create effective and meaningful gatherings at work:

Start with Listening Conversations

As part of reevaluating existing meetings and developing new concepts for gatherings, leaders should have conversations with their teams. Key questions to ask are:

• What did employees long for when they could not physically meet?

• Which meetings (or meeting elements) did they not miss and are ready to let go?

• What forms of meetings did your organization create out of necessity during the pandemic that surprisingly worked?

• What might teams experiment with now in terms of how/when/why they meet?

Allocate Resources

Once teams have defined which meetings need to happen, what needs to take place in person, what takes place virtually, and what hybrid gatherings will look like, leadership must put resources toward this strategy. And part of allocating resources might mean shifting them, such as earmarking the budget to bring teams together in person quarterly for an “onsite” or once a year for strategy sessions or a retreat, so employees get the benefit of face-to-face interaction and the flexibility and productivity of hybrid/remote work.

Communicate Purpose

First make sure you know the purpose of your meeting. Then, make sure your people understand (and are on board with) the purpose of the meeting. What is their role in it? Are the right people part of the right conversations? When the right people are part of a meeting and understand why they are coming together, they can make smarter decisions for their organization.

“Creating effective and valuable gatherings at work is a learnable skill.”

As Priya Parker highlights, “Creating effective and valuable gatherings at work is a learnable skill.” The most effective leaders understand that assumptions around meetings must be continually reassessed, that meetings are places and times to foster belonging, and that they need to provide the tools, support, and inclusive environment their employees require to do their best work.

In a world where connection often feels fleeting and gatherings can lack meaning and focus, Priya Parker emerges as a bold catalyst for change. She is a conflict facilitator, strategic advisor, speaker, and author of the acclaimed book The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why it Matters and the host of The Art of Gathering Digital Course. Whether addressing CEOs, non-profit leaders, students or community organizers, Parker captivates audiences with her unique blend of storytelling, research-backed insights, and practical strategies.

To book Priya Parker for a speaking engagement, click here.