When You Feel Too Paralyzed to Pray

In Exodus 13:21–22, the Lord went before the Israelites to guide their steps. Though I (Jessika) couldn’t see it then, I’m convinced the Lord went before me during my final pregnancy.

When intrusive thoughts simmered in my second trimester, I did my best to counter lies with biblical truth. But when worry and fear came to a rolling boil, I brought my concerns to the Lord. What was going on spiritually that I couldn’t see? How was I to pray? I lacked clarity and felt confused. Was it the labor and delivery I was to pray over? Was it for my child? I didn’t know what lay ahead, but I trusted that God did. On my living room sofa, the Lord guided me to circle particular Psalms and commit to praying them.

For one month, I faithfully prayed those circled prayers and for my fear and anxiety to break. But when my son was born in our home at 42 weeks, weighing only 4 pounds, 14 ounces, I realized it wasn’t over; it was just beginning.

He Prepares Us for Crisis

At 36 hours old, Ezra seized in my arms—a strange twitching was followed by an odd stillness and my son’s glossy, vacant stare. Something was wrong, and I had to act immediately. My husband rushed to my side, snapping his fingers and clapping his hands, hoping our son would “snap” out of it. Feeling helpless, I began to sob. I called 911, but in the shock and trauma of our circumstances, I couldn’t even remember our address. I was paralyzed with fear.

Within minutes, paramedics gently placed my postpartum body on a gurney. I reached for my son as they wheeled us out our front door into the back of an ambulance. As I held the gargantuan oxygen mask to Ezra’s tiny face, I was met with my weakness. As instructed, I’d prayed big, bold, beautiful prayers over my son. Now, as his life hung in the balance, I couldn’t remember a single word. I couldn’t string together thoughts. My brain had forsaken me. As a steady stream of tears poured from my eyes, all I could manage were internal cries of Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus.

He Gives Us Words When We Have None

Our 35-minute transport turned into a 37-day stay in the neonatal intensive care unit. In the wee hours of the night, when the beeping machines and nurse’s duties kept me from sleeping, I shuffled down to the family lounge, Bible in hand. I lowered myself onto the hard, vinyl seat and exhaled. Desperate for comfort and longing for answers, I opened the Bible with a downcast spirit.

In my brokenness, I was speechless. Becoming fluent in the language of tears, they fell like raindrops on the delicate pages in my lap. But there, amid circumstances I couldn’t have predicted, was the evidence the Lord had gone before me. Through blurred vision, I could see the circled prayers and psalms. In his faithfulness, God had led me to the exact prayers I would need when I found myself in a battle for my son’s life. He put words to the cries of my heart, helping me to lament. He spoke life into our circumstances, giving me promises to cling to.

Providence of Pre-Written Prayers

Jessika’s experience highlights one of the reasons why the Lord gave us the Psalms. He knew some suffering would be so overwhelming as to render us speechless. The Lord knew a mother would face a moment so paralyzing she couldn’t remember her address. And so, 3,000 years ago, he inspired a psalmist to write down his prayers for her to use.

Though Psalms is the only inspired prayer book, it isn’t the only book of prayers that has blessed God’s people. Countless Christians have benefited from resources such as The Book of Common Prayer, The Valley of Vision, and countless liturgies written for corporate, family, and private worship.

Sometimes, Christians chafe against the idea of using prewritten prayers, thinking spontaneous prayers are more spiritual. But prewritten prayers need not be dry, rote, or unspiritual. Rightly done, using another’s words can be a spiritually fruitful practice.

Making Others’ Words Our Own

How can we incorporate prewritten prayers into our spiritual life? Here are a few tips.

1. Pick a trusted source.

Starting with good material is always helpful. The Psalms and other prayers in the Bible (such as the Lord’s Prayer, the requests made to Jesus in the Gospels, or Paul’s prayers in his epistles) will never steer you wrong. Time-tested prayer books, such as those mentioned above, are treasure troves curated by church history and thoughtful editors. And pay attention to hymnals and worship songs!

2. Read aloud with inflection.

Scanning or quickly reading a prayer yields little fruit. Reading aloud, especially with an inflection reflecting the meaning, helps us interact with the prayer visually, mentally, orally, and audibly. First, we see the words. Second, we think about them as we prepare to read. Third, we speak the words, voicing them in ways that reflect their meaning. Finally, we hear and process the words as they reach our ears.

These channels offer multiple opportunities to think about, process, and understand what the prayer says, increasing the chances we’ll make it our own. Before we know it, another’s words flow from our heart to God.

3. Stop and meditate

Stop after a word, phrase, or sentence to think about it and let its meaning settle in. Pausing after “Our Father” and thinking about that title reminds us we’re not dealing with a distant and disinterested deity but a Father who loves his children even more than we love our own.

4. Make the words your own.

As we think about a line, it’s helpful to rewrite and respeak it in our own words, supplying details particular to our unique situations. Consdider David’s prayer in Psalm 142: “I pour out my complaint before him; I reveal my trouble to him” (v. 2, CSB). As we recite this, we can stop and reveal our trouble to him: “I reveal my trouble to you, Lord. My daughter is sick, and the doctors don’t know what’s wrong.”

5. Set them aside.

Once we’ve begun to make a prayer our own, there’s no requirement to finish it. When another’s prayer has done its work by helping us talk to God, we may set it aside and keep speaking.

When you don’t know what to pray, don’t be ashamed to find help in others’ words. They may be a grace God prepared for you in advance.

Editors’ note: This article is published in partnership with The Good Book Company. Read more from Eric Schumacher and Jessika Sanders in their new book In His Hands: Prayers for Your Child or Baby in a Medical Crisis (TGBC, July 2024).