How is a leader defined? By their title or their impact?

My father in law Kenny Williams passed away yesterday. He was a great man, a giver not a taker, a mentor to many people, many young but some older. It's giving me pause to think about what makes a leader and defines leadership.

Is it a title? or is it something less tangible, title or not? Kenny never had a title, though the unofficial moniker of "Hydration Specialist" and grandfather of the Swans, was given to him. However he led in many ways at the Sydney Swans and for many decade prior to 1981 on the track at Australian Turf Club as a jockey, strapper and trainer.

At the football club, young men turn up each year at 17 or 18 years old, many from country towns around Australia, hitting the big smoke with no family and feeling somewhat lost away from family and freinds. Kenny, off his own bat, along with his wife, took them under his wing, year after year, cooked them a baked dinner regularly told stories and gave them a home away from home. Their parents appreciated that leadership, and as I am finding out, those boys, many now men with families of their own, some with sons playing AFL, found in Kenny a confidant, mentor, and friend. They described him as loyal, "had my back" always, listened and empathised with no judgement, had the right words at the right time.

He provided leadership at the club, with no formal title, never paid a cent to help out yet never missed a training session, set up the dressing room and of course sang the song with the boys, none better than after the 2012 Grand Final.

This photos is my favourite defining how he listened and gave gentle advise and the boys listened. Here Lewis Jetta taking that advice.

My take away is that by no means do you have to be the manager or the one with a title to make an impact. Your impact is defined by your character, your empathy, the time you invest in others. Listen, empathise, support, give some advice or opinion when sought but don't judge. Listening is one of the most powerful things a person can do with another human. We don't do it enough and we don't understand the profound impact it has when it comes with true care, love and empathy. Often we know the answer, we just need to talk it out and have a confidant listen, we don't need to be told a solution. Kenny was just that and much more. I've also seen this across 30 years of building companies with my own tam members, their impact, titles or not. We all need such people in our organisations and should recognise them. They don't all wish to be managers or "official" leaders, but lead from within.

Kenny's impact has been profound, from being sent to the stables in Melbourne at 11 years old, moving to Sydney with the horses at 20 years old, seeing his beloved Swans join him in Sydney in 1981, he lived life to its fullest, and leaves a huge legacy of support to so many. Many whom he impacted directly and many more he impacted through the TV, met casually at a game, took photos with during a Grand final parade.

He was also a great husband, father, father in law and grandfather. He gave and never took, led all of us to live our bet lives and never hurt anyone. I was lucky enough to be part of his family for 35 years. To share in his joy at grand finals ( as above in 2012) and in the hard times after a loss.

He leaves us with a legacy and many lessons we can all follow, that define our time on earth. Rest in Peace Pop.