Ciao - The Art of Saying Goodbye

Earlier this month, we said our final farewells to an incredible man in the one-and-only Fred Barnabei. Fred brought me to the state of Georgia in 1988 and I will always hold fond memories of my twelve year tour in Augusta under his leadership and his tutelage. I still remember his call to offer me the post and his opening, “if you ready to come to Augusta, do some new work and have some fun with a great group of Student Affairs professionals, we want you to join our team” There was something about this Italian who shared his generous gift of connection.. He had a presence like no other. His funeral was a homecoming of many sorts and a real tribute to the man he was. The former campus colleagues were many who paid their respects and bid their goodbyes to this great man. The stories were comforting and had us laughing. This final goodbye, or Ciao as Fred could only say, served as a reminder of how we need to say our goodbyes throughout our lives and live each day without regret.

There is also an art to saying goodbye at work...

You have received the anticipated call with the offer for your dream job. You have negotiated your new salary, start date, and relocation package are now ready to inform your current employer of your decision to leave. Then something happens that you did not predict. In the final reference process, you alerted your current manager of the opportunity and they were in fact called for a reference. This somehow has created a counter-offer to keep you on the team. Be very careful at this point when considering accepting such an offer to now pay you a bonus, change your title and make other arrangements to keep you. I have yet to see this work well for any party! The leadership resents the need to make such arrangements as equity issues come into play along with many political issues and you will be seen as a “short timer” and stand to lose credibility in the process. Once you have decided to move on, you must move on!

One of my former managers, who did not get consulted in the final reference stage, said something to me that I will never forget. “You have had the gift of time to process this decision; I have had the past two minutes as I read your letter of resignation.”

First and foremost, handle the communication of your departure with your managers and leadership first. A formal letter of resignation delivered in person is the very best way to handle this transition. Letters left for e-mail or without discussion do not set the proper tone. Once you offer your letter of resignation, the management team might want to direct and handle the next communication with the team and you must respect that decision.

Be prepared to offer a notice that allows at least a 30 day transition, but also be prepared if the current leadership does not accept that notice and requests an earlier departure. Yes, you can be directed to clean out your desk and depart the same day you give notice! If you have the grace of time, over these next 30 days, you want to leave your work boxed and bowed for the next successor. You should outline and communicate with your manager and your team the steps you are talking to ensure the smooth transition. I have seen colleagues toss out records and files at this point noting, I had nothing when I started so I will leave this office the same way I found it! These are days to finalize your work for your current employer, not begin work for your new organization. This is an opportune time to take the high road and thank the many colleagues who have helped you along the way and path.

You must leave with grace and dignity. I have witnessed many who have deflated their reputations by not leaving well and not honoring the process of the exit. Simply put, how you leave is how you will be remembered! Years of great work and accomplishment will quickly be lost and forgotten if you do not respect the process. I have witnessed professionals demanding lavish going-away parties. I know of another who did not attend his farewell festivities as he did not wish the fanfare. He had forewarned us that he also would not be attending his own funeral! These celebrations are as much for the professional leaving as for those remaining.

What are some of the best exit strategies that you have witnessed?