The risks in going after what you want (hint: sometimes you end up unemployed)

As I write this, my first ever LinkedIn post, I have been unemployed for a little over a week.

It was not by choice. I took a risk, nothing too earth shattering, but a risk with my career nonetheless and I lived to tell about it.

Let me back up a bit.You see in 2008 I got laid off, like so many others, and for me it was especially tough because 1) I had never been laid off 2) I never saw it coming and 3) it was a job that I absolutely loved. I had come out of my early career experience in retail having worked the long hours, giving tirelessly of myself, my week-ends, etc. and decided to hang up my comfortable shoes and try to land an office job. I figured the best way to do that was to go into a temporary placement agency and get signed up. To my surprise, my years in retail, hiring and managing scores of employees made this agency actually offer me a job in house.It was a great transition, and it made me really figure out that in my heart I am a recruiter. It's what I love to do. So, after years working a placement desk I landed my dream job as a corporate recruiter for a locally owned coffee company. I was able to recruit and hire on both a local and national levels, source niche talent the company had not seen before, I got to on-board new hires and really be an ambassador for a company that I loved working for. Because I was the first corporate recruiter the company had ever had, it made sense that when the economy tanked and the board of directors needed to make cuts...bye bye in-house recruiter. I had no hard feelings, but boy did I miss that job and the people there!

Jump ahead 5 years later and I had been working for a large organization, first as a temp, then as a regular employee, and after several positions finally landed in the recruitment team, as an assistant. It wasn't recruiting but it was on a "path" and I made sure people knew who I was, my background in recruiting, and that I wanted to get back to doing what I love. Now, the thing about big organizations that offer stability is that when you talk about recruiters, once you have reached that level, unless you want to be a manager you are usually pretty content to stay where you are at. The comp is good, you don't have to punch a clock anymore, etc. In short, there was not a lot of movement so the chances of me being a recruiter again were tough. I left once last year, and took a risk accepting a contract recruiter job closer to home. I was willing to take that risk to get back to recruiting. When I realized the kind of recruiting I wanted to do was not going to be feasible there I gave notice, stayed three weeks longer than I intended and went back to my previous organization who was nice enough to hire me back.

"So why would you leave again?", you may ask. Being that we had transitioned our recruitment processes to a Shared Services model, we were now a flat organization, which means I would likely need to move around to other groups while hoping and praying that someday a recruiter might leave, causing an opening. So, I took another chance, and started looking outside. I felt and still feel like if I don't take risks with my recruitment career I won't get to do what I love and I might lose my edge.

When I was offered an opportunity with a large, nationally recognized employment agency to be a recruiter for a corporate client, I couldn't not do it. It was everything I missed about recruiting, I was going to be able to work 70% from home and it was high volume recruiting which I enjoy ( I know. I am weird.) I accepted the verbal offer for a 6 mos contract position and completed a variety of paperwork that indicated not only a tentative start date but a pay rate as well. I gave two weeks notice to my current employer after confirming my new offer and my colleagues gave me a wonderful send off for the second time which was more than generous. My last day was on a Thursday, I was taking Friday off and starting my new job the following Monday.

I had emailed my new manager about my schedule for the following week , and she indicated that she would touch base Friday morning with more information. When she called first thing Friday morning, and she casually discussed the weather, it wasn't until she said "Well, I have some bad news..." that I had any indication there was a problem. They were not able to move forward with the position due to the client not being able to add my headcount, budget issues...honestly the rest of the conversation was a blur. It felt like how the movies sometimes depict someone getting life altering news...the room spinning, you know someone is talking but you are too stunned to make any of the words out. I remember saying something like "thank you for letting me know" but that was it.

I hung up, in complete shock. I am unemployed. I have no job. I have to call and tell my husband I am unemployed. I have to tell my daughter I am not going to be working from the home office I worked so hard setting up. I was unemployed and I never saw it coming. I spent hours going back over everything in my head- did I miss something? The personal beating up lasted over the week-end until my husband made me realize that something really unprofessional happened to me, it wasn't my fault, and it was time to move on.

It's now a week later, and while it still stings, I have to believe that this was meant to happen and I am just travelling on a rocky path with my head down determined to end up doing what I love which is recruiting. Sure I may stumble, and I have already had a few good skinned knees, so really whatever lies ahead I know I can handle- maybe not gracefully but I will handle it. Telling people was so hard, I mean telling my husband was the hardest but he has been amazing, and my friends and colleagues are the usual supportive gems in my life.

I took a risk with my career, actually two risks in the span of a year,and both did not play out the way I thought they would. I have scars and stories, and it's because I am determined to do what I love to do. I will take more risks, and not settle, knowing there is probably a cliff waiting for me next to jump off of. So, I am putting on my track shoes for a running start, and putting every confidence in myself that I will land on my feet.