This week has been very challenging. Last Sunday as I typed my week note I had returned from a hospital visit to see my 101 year old aunt. Mary was a kind, caring, compassionate person who was loved by all. Her dementia a continued frustration as she struggled of late to remember the names of family members who she had just seen. She died on Monday.
Mary moved to a nursing home I chose a year ago. On the whole Mary was well looked after in her nursing home and was well supported through services such as her GP, NHS 111 and the local acute hospital. But there are Buts! Protocols were not always helpful, interventions and escalations happened but a day or two too late, and an acute admission often took 24-36 hours via the Emergency Department. When I recounted this a friend recently observed from her own experience you could not help but reflect a planned intervention of improved support in the community could have meant Mary remained in her home as opposed to the further deterioration she suffered each time.
Mary spent her last Christmas in hospital. A three week stay. A week longer than necessary but difficulties in getting her transferred back to her home meant the wrap around support that would have made such a difference was not there. The final admission was a couple of weeks ago just after her 101st birthday. Usual process, NHS 111, Paramedics, admission via ED, etc. I could not help but reflect on the waste of resource and the unintended consequences despite the systems best efforts. There were simple short comings. I observed staff leaving phones going unanswered. Calls from relatives were not responded to and communication from the clinicians looking after her often delayed. The last time I saw her sadly she did not recognise me. The clock on the wall in her room was not working. Time was standing still. The previous week Mary said she just wanted to go to sleep now. Last Sunday she deteriorated overnight, contact with us was late morning. I was two hours away. Mary went to sleep. I was not there to hold her hand.
Sometimes it’s the simple things we do. Mary did not want to die in hospital and sadly there was no one to hold her hand. These are not just words, but important words. If we are to make a difference we need to reflect, learn and plan to do things differently. Improve engagement and communication with relatives and carers. Agree the outcome at each stage we are looking for. Be honest, be responsive. My takeaway is to think around how we can make services make sense, be more joined up, avoid unnecessary duplication. Digital can play a significant part in this. So this week please think about what you are doing, how you can help make the system better.
Finally a personal thanks to those of you who have been so supportive this week. You know who you are. Whether it was helping with words or covering some meetings. Best wishes to you all. x
God Bless Mary. Enjoy your well-deserved rest. x
Experimental Nurse Team Leader at NIHR CRF King's College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust
1wI am in awe with you and Virginia 💞💞💖💖thank you for your kindness, time and support.