Listening and building tactical empathy

- From the time you start school as a small child to the time you finish your degree studies and beyond, you're trained to have the right answer and to be able to defend your answers and positions. So it's no wonder when we make a proposal that gets met with rejection, our knee-jerk reaction is to double down and defend it. We have to unlearn this behavior as negotiators. Remember, negotiation needs to be slow and relational as opposed to fast and transactional. And once you anchor and frame your request, in all likelihood, you're going to meet some resistance. When you do, your goal is to generate more possibility, to expand the conversation, rather than winnow down to a ho-hum compromise. And that requires impeccable listening. Listening fulfills the basic human need to be heard and understood and shows your conversation partner that you're making an effort to truly understand their perspectives and interests. Listening also helps you build tactical empathy.…