Laying the foundation for positive communication

- You can't build a house on sand. No matter how structurally sound the walls are, the base is unstable and the house will quickly fall. This same sentiment goes for being an empathetic communicator. If you want to improve upon your communication, you must first lay a foundation for empathy. The first way to do this is to pay attention. Be a fly on the wall. Whether you're on the train during your daily commute or taking your lunch break or simply walking through the halls at work, spend time observing other people in conversations. Pay attention to their body language and their eye contact. Observe how people listen to others and how they speak to others. Here's an example. When two people are engaged in conversation, look closely at how eye contact plays a role in the way both people respond to the other person. Is person A continuously avoiding eye contact? How does person B feel about that? Are they annoyed? Are they discouraged? The point of this is to determine which behaviors are detrimental to conversations and which are helpful. So take notes and begin to adjust how you physically behave while in conversation. The second way to practice empathy is to listen. When you're in a group or when you're having a one-on-one conversation, make it a goal for yourself to really listen. And when I say listen, I mean to not only talk as little as possible, but also to not allow your attention to wander to something else while the other person is talking. Many of us get so wrapped up in what we want to say that we forget to listen to what the other person is saying to us. Practicing listening forces you to invest in what your partner in conversation is interested in. The third way to practice empathy is to ask questions. When you're finally ready to speak, don't immediately jump into the conversation with your opinions. Summarize what the person you're speaking to said and then ask them questions about their statements. Here's an example. I loved your idea to go over part three of the project with the rest of the team. Which sections do you think we should emphasize? This is important because people just want a platform. We all believe that our ideas are great ideas, and we'd like to be given the opportunity to express our excitement about them. When you give someone else the platform to express their thoughts, they're more likely to return the favor. They'll want to listen to not only what you have to say, but also implement your ideas into their grand plan.