Pete Bowen

The great thing about "negative" feedback is the opportunity to improve/get stronger in at least three ways: 1) You get the chance to get better; 2) You get the opportunity to strengthen your mental toughness; 3) You learn what ineffective leadership looks like. When times get tough, the people who follow you depend on your mental toughness to get them through. The more you can handle mental adversity, the better leader you can be. If you let 'negativity' distract you, then you should seek more of it, to get stronger, so you can be there for your people (and family and friends) when times are tough. Can your people trust you to perform under pressure?

Rebuilding trust is much easier if you are rebuilding on a solid foundation of previous trust. Set deep goals that get the deepest commitment--goals about becoming the best person you can be in life--not just work-related goals. Use "building trust" as the metric for what everyone does. You'll get higher trust, deeper commitment, and better performance, and the work objectives will take care of themselves.

It's all about the relationships. That's true for work, family, and life. Too often, we implicitly look at mentors as someone we use to get advice to move ahead. Instead, look at a mentor as a friend with wisdom you can learn from. When you build a high-trust, long-term relationship, the wisdom will come. If they trust you, they will connect you with their other wise friends. Don't worry so much about whether they can get you to your goals; let them open you up and provide wisdom about goals you never even thought of. They know the goals to have and questions to ask you've never even thought of. Make the interactions about actively listening to them. You will get 1000% more out of 'mentoring' if you ground it first in genuine friendship.

Culture is anchored by people. Change your culture by growing yourself into the best person possible. The better person you are in all areas of your life, the more people will trust you. Practice Love for your people by actively helping them grow. Know where they want to go in their career and go out of your way to get them the experiences & connections to get them there. NEVER be afraid of 'losing' your best people. When they promote up and leave--even to another company--they become your deepest, life-long friends and allies. Know what they are focused on at home and give them the space to take care of it. Know their interests and learn and build relationships as they teach you about what they love.

As a human being trying to "lead" a good life, and perhaps as a parent, you are already in leadership role(s). The best leadership comes from high trust relationships. The more people trust you wisdom (knowledge that comes from experience), the more they know that you love them, and the more they know you get results, the more they will follow you. The CEO will follow you if s/he trusts you. Practice wisdom, love, and results in all your relationships, until they become habits--part of you--and you will naturally develop high trust relationships and people will follow you. Even people senior to you.