Clara Torres-Jamison

You will not know your vision unless you know where you are currently. Therefore, the best first step is to do an audit of what you are currently doing as a leader. How are you spending your time, what is working, what is not, who you are speaking to, who counsels you, etc. Then you can determine what is truly working or broken. Then you can hone in on all the tactical actions named in this article.

When we are affected by triggers, our bodies go into the sympathetic state which puts our bodies on alert and signal "danger"/ "discomfort". When our bodies are in this state, we are not able to process information correctly or at all. This means that our bodies may perform the act of self-care through disassociative behaviors - like avoidance or not allowing us to react. These behaviors are normal and sometimes necessary to cope with the triggers. So give yourself grace and time if you engage in these behaviors. However, if you see that it is taking some time to go back to a parasympathetic state (relax and feeling secure), it is important to seek for professional help who will help you to "associate" into your body again.

Focus on positive reinforcement by asking for examples on how their "treatment plan" has helped his/her so far. Let them "see" on their own the benefits (if any) of their current plan.

Before you share on your experience, understand what the person's concerns are without judgement. We tend to rush to share our experiences as a way to "be helpful," but often our stories (although powerful) are not what the person truly needs. It is best to actively listen. Now if the person, asks "how did you handle this?" Then provide your experience with the understanding of what they are truly seeking for - validation, understanding, acceptance, or inspiration.

Yes, these are great resources, but before you do, ask yourself “what is the reason/behavior that I am trying to assist them in with these resources/materials?” This will cut down on resource overload and hone in on the outcome you, the mentee and the mentor are trying to accomplish.

Also provide information to the mentee on how to optimize the relationship (especially for minority students who may be first-gen in being in a mentoring relationship). Which means first we must ask, not assume, what does the mentee know and understand about the relationship vice versa with the mentor. Assuming unfortunately will provide a cookie cutter approach to understanding each other’s roles which may lead to confusion or the relationship not being beneficial for both. Also, the social and emotional aspect of the relationship is key and must be discussed as well.