Choose Better Thoughts

One of my favorite parts of my day is writing little notes for my six-year old daughter, Kennedy, to find in her lunchbox at camp. I started to do it because I thought it made me a good mom. I kept doing it because she tells me about them every day. And I never forget because now it starts MY day on the right foot. For me, goals often follow this pattern. We start doing something because we think we should. External validation helps us keep doing it. But we sustain habits once we have an internal DESIRE to keep taking action. So here's what I offer you today. If you're doing something because you "should" be doing it or if you need external validation to keep going while you build the habit, so what? Good enough for me. As long as your goal is aligned with who you want to be regardless of those external factors, trust that you will find that internal motivation over time. What do you think?

Your actions determine whether or not you reach your goals... but focusing ONLY on taking obvious actions is not the highest leverage strategy. Two layers of preparation lead to higher rates of success. The surface layer of preparation is basic and obvious. For example: Setting your alarm and your running clothes out the night before Meal prepping Rehearsing your presentation But a deeper layer of preparation is less obvious and more powerful. It's preparation for your brain. For example, if you have a presentation coming up, how about: Journaling about the presentation Setting an intention for your presentation Naming what you will believe about yourself as you execute your actions Before: Creating your presentation Rehearsing your presentation Delivering the presentation This deeper layer of preparation is easy to do, which means it's also easy to skip. But these mindset steps will exponentially elevate your leadership. Personally, I shift in and out of doing my mental prep. I'm only human. But when I do the prep, the outcome is always, always, ALWAYS better. I challenge you to pick one goal you have for this week and do this deeper layer of prep. STEP 1: Journal about it for two minutes. Freewrite anything that comes to mind. Clear your mind. STEP 2: Set an intention for one minute. What do you intend for this process? How do you want to show up? STEP 3: Finally, pick one sentence to believe about yourself as you execute your process. It could be as simple as "I am focused." What do you think? How do you prep your brain to meet your goals? #successmindset #selfawareness #intentionalaction

I achieved all of my career goals this year. One of the biggest reasons surprised me. I hit my career goals BECAUSE I also set relationship and health goals. I offer you two smart things that worked: SMART THING #1 I set goals that made sense together. My career goals are rooted in my own personal development. So I tested out mindset strategies to decrease my anxiety when I was with my family and to stay committed when I wanted to skip a workout. My relationship goals included working on being more present when I was physically present with my family and not feeling guilty when I was working or working out. My health goals included fueling my body better. This included protein and vitamins that gave me more sustainable energy for my work and my kids. Succeeding in one area supported my success in another area. SMART THING #2 I prioritized my career goals above my other goals. That meant that when I had to choose between multiple uses of my time, I picked my career. Do you hear that, working moms? I gave myself permission to pick my business over my kids. Gasp, I know. I didn’t end up picking my business every time. But the permission to do so was EVERYTHING. In fact, more times than not, when I gave myself permission to pick my work, I got my work done way faster with way more focus, and was able to spend more time with my girls on net. What’s your plan for 2024? Want to make one with me? I’m doing short training sessions giving away a workbook to support the women in my network with goal-setting. Comment or reach out to me if you want in! Yes, absolutely, if you sign up and can’t attend live, you can catch the replays on your own time! #goalsetting #goals #newyearsresolutions #leadershipcoaching #successmindset

How’s your 2024 goal-setting going? Haven’t started? Of course you haven’t started! It’s November! But are you thinking about it a little? I want to offer you a series of goal-setting traps… How you might know you’re in one… And how to get out of it! GOAL-SETTING TRAP #1: Your goals are rooted in external validation. You might be in this trap if… …you subconsciously imagine what other people will be thinking about you when you have achieved your goals. “Wow, she got that promotion? She’s so successful.” “She is on that committee too? How does she do it all?” “Damn, she looks amazing. I wonder what her workout routine is.” Look, there’s nothing wrong with getting a grin when you imagine yourself having achieved your goals. It’s just that when you do it through someone else’s eyes, it’s worth questioning why you’re going after those goals in the first place. Because if you prioritize goals subconsciously seeking external validation, you will be sorely disappointed when you achieve them and feel only fleeting success. This is because you were never the source of these goals. So, how do you get out of this trap? Start from a place of radical possibility. Create a space to brainstorm, really brainstorm, what you want from this life before you die. You will be amazed what pours out of you when you give yourself more than three seconds to actually consider and examine what you might want. Especially if you have been socialized as a woman to deprioritize your desires to meet the needs of others. This is exactly what the women who sign up for my goal-setting challenge are going to do on day one. Want to get in on this goal-setting challenge? I want you there. See the link in comments to sign up! #goalsetting #goals #newyearsresolutions #leadershipcoaching #successmindset

The model is my absolute favorite coaching tool. It takes cognitive behavior psychology and distills it into a framework you can use to coach yourself. Want to learn it? Or have you learned or something like it but perhaps are unwittingly using it to shame yourself? I see you, self-development perfectionist. Let's tweak your process a bit. Book a call with me. Link below/in bio.

Any HR leaders in my network looking for a combo of strategic advising and coaching? I cannot recommend Payal Maheshwari enough!

When someone asks you about yourself, do you naturally start to tell them all about your past? Wouldn't it be fun if your default was to tell them where you're going instead? Now take a look inside of you. When you think about who you are, do you think more about where you have been or where you are going? I encourage you to spend the week tipping the scales more in favor of your future. What if we were really nothing but present and possibility? Do you think that would change how you show up? How? I would love to hear. #selfawareness #selfcoaching #choosebetterthoughts #mindsetshift #presentmoment #futurefocus #personalgrowth #reflection #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching

"Perfectionist" no longer has the positive connotation it used to. I think this is a good thing. A collective understanding that striving for perfection is both 1) unrealistic and 2) can be crippling encourages incremental progress and grace towards oneself and others. But we can still have a laugh at our perfectionist tendencies while we work to untangle where they come from and why we no longer need them. Let's have fun today. What's your perfectionist superpower? Do you have the eye for detail, able to spot imperfections from miles away? Are you the planner extraordinaire, creating meticulous schedules and to-do lists? Or maybe you're the perfectionist chef, mastering the art of precision in the kitchen. I'm definitely the first two and not even close to the latter! One tip for you: Can you decouple your talent from what following through on it means about your worthiness as a person? Because then you'll be able to create even more value and feel amazing doing it. What's your perfectionist superpower?! Tell me below! #perfectionism #selfawareness #worthiness

As a working mom, I ask one question all day long to get things done and preserve my sanity. Do I want to let go of my expectations or do I want to uphold a boundary? For example, this morning, it was time to leave for daycare, and my daughter did not want to brush her teeth. Do I want to let go of my expectation that she will brush her teeth this morning or do I brush her teeth for her? Notice what is not on the table for me: Asking over and over, yelling, staying frustrated... All things I might do without this strategy. How about at work? Let's say one of your direct reports struggles to take initiative. Do you want to let go of your expectation that he will take initiative or do you want uphold a boundary? In this case, your boundary might be any number of things that YOU do when your expectations are not met, e.g., reiterate your expectations, provide resources, coach him, etc. Notice what is not on the table: Venting to colleagues, passive aggressive comments, staying frustrated... The success of this strategy depends on the degree to which you are aware of your expectations and boundaries in the first place. Many times our expectations and lack of boundaries are unconscious. Success with this strategy also requires you to be willing, at times, to let go of expectations... and to trust yourself to know when those times are. Tell me, do you consciously or subconsciously use a version of this strategy to get things done and stay sane? #expectations #boundaries #workingmom #selfawareness #selfcoaching #choosebetterthoughts #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #effectivecommunication #mindfulparenting

At the beginning of your day, instead of making a to-do list, ask yourself, “What would delight me if it were done today?” In the middle of your day, make a list of things you’ve done that were not on your to-do list. My favorites are: Brushed teeth, walked, talked to a friend, laughed with kids, scheduled appointments. So much of our time goes toward unacknowledged labor. Acknowledge it. At the end of your day, do a 3, 2, 1, activity. Three things you are proud of, two things you learned, and one thing, and ONLY one thing, that you want to improve tomorrow. Tell yourself, “I did the best I could today, and that is enough.” #dailydelight #selfreflection #unacknowledgedlabor #gratitude #personalgrowth #acknowledgment #dailyachievements #learning #selfimprovement #selfacceptance #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #choosebetterthoughts