How do you motivate coachees to change?

Coachees have to want to be coached. i.e. they need to see/feel/understand the need for change or development - which means self awareness, emotional maturity and most of all feedback - from the world around them (in the myriad of forms that can come). They then need of course to be open explore questions about what gets in the way, to experiment with changes, to fail and learn fast and to create new habits. Which means curiosity,courage, willpower, and even more self awareness. In my experience, coachees are often too passive, they want answers not self exploration, the want a quick fix and are not willing to go on the journey of discovery a coach invites them to go on. I have stopped using coaching interventions for these people

I think GROW can be very helpful, but be careful with it. I don't believe it is a coach's job to motivate anyone. I think the coach's role is to help the coachee discover/clarify their own motivation. That often takes time, and those goals are constantly evolving and changing. Don't allow GROW to push you too hard to help your coachee vocalise a goal. And beware getting too excited about SMART goals. SMART goals are pretty useless unless the individual is really committed to them. Only if used well will the GROW model help coachees 'take ownership of their goals and actions.' If not used well it can take the form of the coach helping coachees form goals and actions that the coach thinks are good.

I typically embrace the GROW model with train a trainer program and internal HRBP training as it brings a structured and impactful approach to coaching. It's easy to understand the model guides you from point A to B. Whether you are new to coaching or more tenured GROW is always a great resource and furthermore the questions aligned to each piece of model are quite powerful. By utilizing this model, I empower coachees to define clear objectives and uncover potential obstacles. It aids in generating actionable solutions and fostering accountability, ensuring progress toward their goals. There's a reason it's widely popular... find out for yourself!

Creating a positive coaching environment is paramount. Coaches must cultivate an atmosphere where coachees feel safe to express themselves, take risks, and challenge their own assumptions. This fosters a spirit of resilience and a willingness to engage with change. Additionally, providing coachees with a sense of autonomy is empowering. Coachees should be encouraged to take ownership of their change journey, enabling them to set their own pace and make decisions that align with their personal growth.

The GROW model is useful to help coachees move from point A to B. However, it could get somewhat transactional where a large part of the effort is to set goals, without the opportunity to find meaning in those goals.

Love SCARF and everything it embodies including the myriad of ways it can be used both in coaching as well as broader L&D, OD and professional development. I first learned of this model over a decade ago when listening David Rock at a conference. I didn't get it's full impact until I put it in practice and into my own practice. This is also a great entry into neuroscience as well as grasping a stronger understanding of human behavior and then teaching your clients "why" they get triggered and then ultimately coaching them on what to do next. I honestly can't speak highly enough of this one model.

The SCARF model is rooted in neuroscience and helps coachees clarify their threat or reward response around the five domains. It, although, assumes that humans need to move in either of the directions based on their response to the situation. However, it could be helpful for coachees to stay in the liminal space in betwixt and between the both of responses for a direction to emerge.

I have found that with this model in the background, I am able to empower coachees to shift from feeling uncertain or stressed to feeling positive and motivated. It also takes into account critical aspects like how we see ourselves, how certain we feel, the choices we make, the connections we have, and the fairness we experience. Incorporating these thoughtful elements enables me to create a space that's built on trust, clear understanding, and positive connection. This, in itself is sometimes enough to set the stage for meaningful transformation, enabling coachees to tackle challenges with a renewed sense of purpose and motivation, leading them towards their desired outcomes.

The Motivational Interviewing technique is a potent tool in coaching IF you know how to administer it properly. It's a collaborative, client-centered approach that taps into intrinsic motivation, fostering positive change. Through empathetic listening, open-ended questions, and reflective statements, you can guide your coachees to explore their goals and challenges in a new way. By evoking their own reasons for change, it bolsters their commitment and self-confidence. When done well, it can uncover any resistance they have, ultimately leading to sustainable transformation.

The 'motivational interviewing' technique has its roots in helping overcome addictions. It is when a coachee desires a change but is unable to make it. This technique taps into the intrinsic motivation of the client creating an inspirational future state and bolstering the coachee's sense of agency and self-efficacy.

Applying the Appreciative Inquiry technique as a coach resonates deeply with me. It shifts the focus from problems to possibilities, fostering a positive and growth-oriented mindset. By exploring your coachees' strengths, successes, and positive experiences, you create an uplifting atmosphere and trust. This facilitates a stronger collaborative exploration of what's working well and how to amplify it empowering your coachees to envision and craft their desired future. It's an invaluable approach that energizes both me and my coachees on the journey to realizing their potential. If you aren't using it - start today! It's one of the best methods.

The 'appreciative inquiry' technique takes the unconventional approach of what's working rather than what's not, because there's always some parts that are. Shifting the coachee's focus to those bits cultivates a sense of self-efficacy in the coachee allowing the exploration as to how those could be replicated and reproduced in other areas. One of the most powerful techniques to initiate change out there.

I find this tool most effective in my coaching conversations. When we focus on my coachees' strengths, their successes, and the moments that make them shine, it's like creating a foundation of trust and empowerment. We collaboratively explore what's working for them and how we can leverage those aspects. In this dynamic process I've seen coachees' energy and passion get ignited with optimism. It's a great tool to bring about a mindset shift as well.

I don’t think change is a motivation thing at all… it’s a practice thing, and for a change to stick, it needs to become a habit. If people want to change, then they’ve got to put in the work and continue to practice it (whatever the habit is) until it becomes a habit. For each person, that’s a different amount of time, but generally speaking, you can create a habit within two months. How I help my clients it’s through repetition. I continue to ask the same questions every time we meet. Then to reinforce change and establish habits, we typically meet for at least eight weeks. People are generally resistant to change, so it takes work,and effort, and intention. If a client is coachable, there is tremendous opportunity for growth!

Motivating clients is at the heart of coaching, but it comes with complexities. It's crucial because their motivation drives progress. However, every coachee is unique, and understanding their intrinsic desires takes effort. Balancing their aspirations with realistic goals can be demanding. External factors like setbacks and self-doubt often test their enthusiasm. Yet, witnessing their transformation and growth is gratifying. Navigating this challenge refines my skills, ensuring I tailor strategies that resonate with their motivations.

Most coachees come to coaching because they desire change albeit sometimes unsure of what that looks like. Apart from clarifying their desired state, it is important to support them to get past their initial resistance as their current state although uncomfortable, is known to them. Coaches must empathize that although desired, the future state for coachees is unknown and brings uncertainty evoking fear in them which might evoke some initial and temporary resistance to move towards it.

One thing a lot of these frameworks don't touch on is the mindset shift that is generally needed to change behavior. A lot of times, my clients know what they need to do, but struggle with taking the necessary action. During these times, it's important to dig into what may be holding them back (is it fear, people pleasing, or something else), as well as how their current behavior is serving them in some way. For example, if you are a people pleaser is not giving difficult feedback serving that part of you, but ultimately hurting your ability to be an effective leader. Once we have uncovered the underlying motivations, and created an effective mindset shift, it's much easier to see the possibilities and for change to occur.

Before giving any feedback, get the micro yes. Use my FRAME model: Find your center: remember why you are giving feedback and the goal you want to achieve Request permission / a meeting - get the 1st micro yes, "do you have five minutes today to connect? Arena-provide context - tell them what you want to talk about so they can come prepared "I want to talk about the research you shared during the presentation" Make it safe and get permission - Using an open ended question, invite them to speak first then as if you can offer feedback (can I share my observations?) Engage with a question - What do you see is an area we can work on? From there the conversation will flow