How can you use EI to manage difficult stakeholders during a decision-making process?

Making decisions in a complex and uncertain environment can be challenging, especially when you have to deal with difficult stakeholders who have different interests, opinions, and expectations. How can you use emotional intelligence (EI) to manage these situations and achieve the best outcomes for yourself and your organization? In this article, we will explore some practical tips and strategies to apply EI to your decision-making process and handle difficult stakeholders with confidence and empathy.

1 What is EI and why does it matter?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others. It involves four key skills: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. EI can help you improve your communication, collaboration, and influence, as well as reduce stress and conflict. Research shows that EI is linked to higher performance, productivity, and satisfaction in the workplace. EI is especially important when you have to make decisions that affect multiple stakeholders, as it can help you balance your rational and emotional inputs, consider different perspectives, and build trust and rapport.

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Aamir Shaukat Hussain

Founder Value Source LLP, consultant, trainer
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Emotional intelligence let you understand the situation, the people, the sensitivity, the tone and hence maked you aware to take corrective move. Think smart, theim intelligently

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Israel Ngombo
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Emotional intelligence requires certain skill, Not everyone can understand empathy so try to, put yourself in their shoes and not to be judgmental. In order to regulate an organization they have to be certain values that require the ability to have integrity. This requires that these specific values of the organization is followed through the top and bottom. Examples: Not contacting after work hours Not jeopardizing employees mental health by unrealistic demands Problems are not a one size fits all situation listen to them Find independent solutions for each person Psychological safety provide room for them to express their ideas/emotions

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Andrea Newton 👠👠

Mayoress of Halton and Actually, she can! host - Feb 2025🧡 Day job involves helping managers to be confident in having difficult conversations about sensitive stuff -Author / Coach - ex Dog Rescuer
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It’s also a two way street - managing your own emotional state and being respectful and acknowledging the impact you may be having for the other person. Even criticism can be delivered with kindness and respect!

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2 How to use EI to prepare for the decision-making process?

Before you start the decision-making process, it's important to prepare yourself and your stakeholders for the possible challenges and opportunities. You can use EI to do this by assessing your own emotions and motivations, identifying and analyzing your stakeholders, and establishing clear and shared objectives and criteria. Be honest with yourself about any biases or assumptions that may affect your judgment. Use empathy and active listening to understand the perspectives and emotions of your stakeholders. Agree on the desired outcomes, criteria, standards, decision-making process, communication plan, and feedback/input soliciting methods with your stakeholders. Make sure these are aligned with your organization's vision and values.

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Andrea Newton 👠👠

Mayoress of Halton and Actually, she can! host - Feb 2025🧡 Day job involves helping managers to be confident in having difficult conversations about sensitive stuff -Author / Coach - ex Dog Rescuer
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As Covey suggested, getting a gap between stimulus (what’s happened) and your response, as in that gap lies the opportunity to CHOOSE your response - and a reaction and a response are two different things!

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3 How to use EI to facilitate the decision-making process?

During the decision-making process, you need to facilitate the discussion and collaboration among your stakeholders and lead them to a consensus or a compromise. To do this, you can use emotional intelligence (EI). Manage your own emotions and impulses by being aware of how you react to different situations and opinions. Avoid being defensive, aggressive, or dismissive. Also, manage the emotions and expectations of your stakeholders by acknowledging and validating their feelings. Address their concerns and objections, while managing their expectations without promising more than you can deliver. Additionally, communicate effectively and persuasively by using clear language, adapting your communication style to the audience and context, using facts and data to support arguments, and using stories and examples to illustrate points. Utilize influence tactics such as reciprocity, authority, or social proof to persuade stakeholders to accept your decision or offer.

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Assel M.
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To make a rational decision that benefits you and most stakeholders, I’d do these: 1) understand the audience/stakeholders, what is the ultimate goal? Could you shape the conversation that everybody has a chance to speak and share their position and concerns? 2) would you be able to summarise 1-3 common points to make the decision during the meeting? Understand the limitations and that consensus is not always possible. 3) think of your own biases, why are you convinced of your own position and role in this meeting? What would make you change your mind? Is your decision and assumptions behind it data-driven? Did you take into account external factors? What is the impact of this decision long term?

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4 How to use EI to implement and evaluate the decision?

After you have made the decision, you need to implement it and evaluate its results and impacts. You can use EI to do this by communicating the decision and its rationale to your stakeholders, highlighting the benefits and value of the decision and how it aligns with objectives and criteria. Additionally, you should monitor and measure the outcomes and feedback, collect data to assess the effectiveness and efficiency of the decision, solicit feedback from stakeholders, identify any gaps or issues, reflect on the decision-making process and its outcomes, share your insights with stakeholders, celebrate successes, acknowledge mistakes, seek feedback, and enhance your EI skills.

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5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Andrea Newton 👠👠

Mayoress of Halton and Actually, she can! host - Feb 2025🧡 Day job involves helping managers to be confident in having difficult conversations about sensitive stuff -Author / Coach - ex Dog Rescuer
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Managing state doesn’t mean acting like a robot with no emotion; it’s about choosing an appropriate response to a situation rather than allowing an emotional reaction to get in the way of adult:adult respectful dialogue.

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How can you use EI to manage difficult stakeholders during a decision-making process?

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1 What is EI and why does it matter?

2 How to use EI to prepare for the decision-making process?

3 How to use EI to facilitate the decision-making process?

4 How to use EI to implement and evaluate the decision?

5 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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How can you use EI to manage difficult stakeholders during a decision-making process?

1

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3

4

5

1 What is EI and why does it matter?

2 How to use EI to prepare for the decision-making process?

3 How to use EI to facilitate the decision-making process?

4 How to use EI to implement and evaluate the decision?

5 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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