How can you tell if a conflict resolution model is not working?

Lack of engagement is a clear sign that a conflict resolution model is not working effectively. When parties show disinterest, it suggests they don't feel invested or believe their concerns are addressed. This can stem from feeling unheard, disrespected, or lacking trust. To address this, build rapport, clarify expectations, acknowledge emotions, use active listening, or consider alternative models. Resolving the lack of engagement increases the chances of a successful resolution.

The escalation of conflict is a concerning and challenging situation that requires careful attention and effective intervention. Conflict escalation occurs when the intensity, frequency, or severity of a conflict increases over time, often leading to destructive behaviors, breakdown in communication, and further polarization of parties involved. To address this issue, it is important to identify the underlying causes and triggers of the conflict, promote open and respectful dialogue, encourage active listening and empathy, and explore mutually beneficial solutions. Additionally, involving a neutral third party mediator or seeking professional help can help de-escalate the conflict and facilitate a more constructive resolution.

If a conflict resolution model is ineffective, signs may include unresolved issues persisting, parties remaining dissatisfied, or escalating tensions. Lack of communication improvement, repeated disputes, and failure to reach mutually agreeable solutions are indicators that the model may not be addressing the root causes or meeting the needs of the involved parties.

I had a client who left her car at her soon-to-be ex-husband's place. During our first session, she expressed her concern, saying, "I need a car, and I'm unsure about what to do." She turned towards him and asked, "Are you going to take the car away from me?" He responded, confused, "What are you saying? You dropped the car off at my house." It turned out that the wife had received advice suggesting her soon-to-be ex might try to revoke the registration, and she should quickly return the car to prevent it. Fortunately, we were able to deescalate the situation. This incident highlighted how two people, without any intention to hurt each other, ended up in an escalated misunderstanding due to external advice.