Here's how you can skillfully handle difficult conversations as a personal coach when giving feedback.

Skillfully handling difficult conversations as a personal coach when giving feedback starts with thorough preparation. Begin by clearly defining the purpose of the conversation and the specific feedback you need to convey. Gather relevant examples and data to support your points, ensuring that your feedback is constructive and focused on behavior, not personal attributes. Anticipate potential reactions and prepare strategies to address them with empathy and understanding. Practice active listening to create an open dialogue, allowing the client to express their thoughts and feelings. Frame your feedback positively, emphasizing growth opportunities and collaborative solutions.

Building rapport is key to developing a trusting relationship and to creating a safe space for your client to share their hopes, dreams and fears or anxieties. Building rapport is the start to building a strong coach-client relationship. Give it time to mature. Do not go straight into coaching mode like I did as a rookie coach! I thought I didn’t want to ‘waste’ the client’s time during an introductory sessions and started with questions that went too deep too quickly. That unfortunately scared her off and she didn’t continue our sessions. I now always bear in mind that my coaching sessions are client-led and not coach-led.

Expressing empathy during difficult conversations as a personal coach is like being the comforting pillow on a rough day 😌. It involves genuinely understanding and acknowledging the other person's feelings and perspectives. For instance, instead of saying, "You need to improve your time management," you might say, "I know balancing multiple tasks can be challenging, and I’ve noticed some struggles with deadlines. How can I support you in managing your time better?" This approach shows you care about their experience and are there to help, not criticize. Research indicates that empathetic communication builds trust and opens up more productive dialogue. Remember, a little empathy goes a long way!

Delivering feedback during a coaching conversation is like offering a mirror up to the client. Making perceptive observations can help a client uncover hidden, subconscious reactions to a situation. It is important to be as clear and concise as possible about the observation. I once noticed how a client kept on making an apologetic laugh as she spoke about her family even though we were talking about her career aspirations. I brought it up and the whole coaching conversation was re-oriented towards how to align her career aspirations with her family’s needs. Providing feedback opens up new, exciting and enriching avenues towards deeper self-understanding and thus a more fruitful coaching session!

Direct communication is an ICF (International Coaching Federation) competency for a reason! That said, some people love it when they are spoken to directly - others need a softer touch. Know your client and their personality structure well so you can tailor how you speak to them.

Some of us coaches may be highly tempted to provide solutions to the client, especially when they ‘can’t think of a solution’ when gently nudged. In this cases like these, we may couch our solutions with phrases like ‘have you considered…’ or ‘what do you think of…’? Remember, by this time, clients would be primed to accept whatever solution we provide. This might be a disservice to our clients as it would make them reliant on others for solutions rather than independently provide a solution themselves. Coaches should partner with clients to arrive at better solutions by asking broader questions that help them realise their overall vision and aligning their solutions with those visions.