Here's how you can develop assertiveness as a program manager without coming across as aggressive.
As a program manager, your role is to guide projects to successful completion while balancing stakeholder expectations, resources, and timelines. Assertiveness is a key skill in achieving this, but there's a fine line between being assertive and coming across as aggressive. Assertiveness is about clear, confident communication and respect for others' opinions and boundaries. Aggression, on the other hand, disregards others' feelings and can create a hostile environment. To navigate this line effectively, you need to develop strategies that promote assertive behavior without tipping into aggression.
Assertiveness is your ability to express thoughts and needs confidently while respecting others. It's crucial to understand that being assertive doesn't mean you're demanding or overbearing. Instead, it's about being direct and honest in communication. As a program manager, this means clearly stating project goals, expectations, and feedback. It involves active listening to understand team members' perspectives and responding with empathy. By valuing mutual respect and open dialogue, you create a positive work atmosphere conducive to collaboration and productivity.
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First step I take is always to confidently and construcively remember to advise them that you were brought in because of your expertise, therefore it's worthwhile to them to listen, but does this in an experienced way demonstrating that they can get new insights and faster learnings - so what have they got to lose. Then from here ensure that you advise you want a collaborative approach, even if opposite views - establishing the channel for them to heard and value makes them receptive even if they don't agree
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Program managers need to be assertive to navigate project challenges, but not aggressive. Here's how to strike the balance: Communicate clearly, focus on "we" goals, acknowledge concerns, use data to back your points, and project confidence. By combining assertiveness with respect, you become a program leader who inspires and gets things done!
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What clicked for me was realizing that assertiveness isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's about confidently advocating for what's best for the project and your team, while genuinely respecting and considering the perspectives of others. This mindset shift allowed me to approach conversations with a collaborative spirit, seeking win-win solutions rather than simply pushing my own agenda. It's amazing how much more receptive people are when they feel heard and valued, even if you don't always agree.
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Developing assertiveness as a program manager involves finding a balance between confidently expressing your needs and respecting the perspectives of others. By understanding assertive communication, practicing active listening, using "I" statements, being clear and direct, and respecting others' viewpoints, you can assert yourself effectively without being perceived as aggressive. This approach fosters open communication, builds trust, and promotes collaboration within your team and with stakeholders. Striving for assertiveness while maintaining respect and empathy will enhance your effectiveness as a leader and contribute to the success of your projects.
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It is helpful to equivocate the idea of assertiveness simply with advocacy. There always comes a time where we need to advocate for ourselves, our goals, etc. That’s all being assertive is. Assertiveness has nothing to do with aggression. It has everything to do with not collapsing our principles and boundaries due to concern of potential conflict.
Clear communication is the backbone of assertiveness. It's important to articulate your thoughts and expectations without ambiguity. This involves being specific about project objectives, deadlines, and roles. When providing feedback, focus on the issue rather than the person to avoid defensiveness. Use "I" statements to express your perspective without placing blame. For example, say "I noticed the deadline was missed; let's discuss how to prevent this in the future," rather than "You missed the deadline." This approach fosters a constructive conversation rather than a confrontational one.
Establishing and maintaining boundaries is vital for assertiveness. As a program manager, you must set clear limits on what is acceptable behavior and work practices within your team. This includes defining work hours, communication protocols, and project scopes. When boundaries are crossed, address the issue promptly and firmly but with respect. Explain the importance of the boundary for the team's success and ask for cooperation moving forward. This demonstrates your commitment to the program's integrity while respecting individual team member's roles.
The language you use can significantly impact how your assertiveness is perceived. Opt for positive language that encourages engagement and collaboration. Instead of saying "Don't be late," try "Please ensure you're on time." This subtle shift can make a big difference in how your message is received. Positive language fosters a supportive environment where team members feel valued and motivated. It also reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings and promotes a culture of mutual respect.
Active listening is a skill that reinforces assertiveness by showing respect for the opinions of others. When you listen actively, you're fully engaged and attentive to the speaker, which helps build trust and understanding within your team. Reflect on what is being said before responding, and ask clarifying questions if needed. This demonstrates that you value your team's input and are willing to consider their perspectives. Active listening also helps you gather the information needed to make informed decisions that align with the program's goals.
Regular reflection on your interactions can help you fine-tune your assertiveness skills. Take time to review conversations and meetings to assess your communication style. Did you express yourself clearly? Were you respectful of others' opinions? Did you listen actively? Reflecting on these questions helps you recognize areas for improvement and celebrate successes. By continually refining your approach, you can become more effective in balancing assertiveness with approachability, ultimately leading to better program outcomes.
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The key difference is I have observed between me being assertive & being aggressive is that when I am assertive I am generally backing up my point with supporting data, I am communicating clearly about what needs to be done & why, I am open to answer questions to deflect any "no"s & I am pretty much composed as against when I am being aggressive, I am usually struggling with data to support my point, I want to communicate less but use strong words, I don't welcome questions & want to everyone to follow what I said, I am in no mood to hear "no"s & I am probably talking in high pitch, loud & clear with an increased heart rate. So in order to be assertive, following things from above will help be assertive & avoid others to be non aggressive.
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