What are effective techniques to address a client's negative self-talk?
Negative self-talk is the habit of thinking or saying harsh, critical, or pessimistic things about oneself. It can affect your mood, self-esteem, motivation, and behavior, as well as your relationships with others. As a social worker, you may encounter clients who struggle with negative self-talk and need your help to overcome it. In this article, you will learn some effective techniques to address a client's negative self-talk and help them develop a more positive and realistic self-image.
The first step to address negative self-talk is to identify where it comes from. Negative self-talk can be influenced by various factors, such as past experiences, trauma, abuse, stress, anxiety, depression, or low self-confidence. It can also be reinforced by social norms, expectations, comparisons, or judgments from others. By asking your client to reflect on the origins of their negative self-talk, you can help them understand how it affects their perception of themselves and their situation. You can also help them challenge the validity and accuracy of their negative thoughts and beliefs.
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The Strength-based perspective is very valuable in this regard. Assist clients to identify all strengths and resources internally as well as external.
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One way to notice negative self talk is to give it a name. "That's the worry meister again - telling me nothing will work out for me." Another is to ask if the voice sounds like anyone they know, or knew in their past. Once voice has a name it is easier to catch what it is saying. Writing it down can give some distance and allow them to consider the thought. Open ended questions allow for exploration. "In what way do you agree, or disagree with this voice? Is the thought accurate? Kind? Helpful? Would you let someone talk this way about your best friend?"
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Elizabeth Oduntan
Social Media Manager @ BillionzRise Group | Certificate Membership, Social Welfare
A way to know negative self talk is when repeatedly says these words. Another way is talking oneself down and the lack of esteem and self worth
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Considering the voice of the negative messaging is often beneficial to addressing negative self-talk. Much of a clients' self-talk may have originated from someone else and over time morphed into messages they give to themselves. When a client realizes that they learned the negative messaging from an external source it can encourage them to question the validity of the message, as well as identify new, positive self-talk that is a product of their own beliefs.
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One of the key things that I do with clients is to help them navigate who’s voice the negative self talk is, Is it theirs or is it a narrative of someone or a combination of various people they’ve encountered throughout their lives that imposed those viewpoints on them. Once they can navigate and understand that negative voice isn’t theirs, they’re in a better position to let it go and start to connect more deeply with their own voice based on their values and beliefs.
The second step to address negative self-talk is to use active listening and feedback skills. Active listening is the process of paying attention, showing interest, and expressing empathy to your client's verbal and non-verbal communication. Feedback is the process of providing constructive and supportive comments, suggestions, or questions to your client's statements or behaviors. By using active listening and feedback, you can help your client feel heard, valued, and respected. You can also help them recognize their strengths, achievements, and potential, as well as their areas of improvement or growth.
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Motivational interviewing can enhance the client and counselor/therapist relationship. By utilizing the four principles you can deconstruct the mindset of your client to challenge their status quo. These principles are: Resist the righting reflex; Understand the patient's own motivations; Listen with empathy; and Empower the patient. This is known as the R.U.L.E. Technique. Active listening is integral to getting to the roots of understanding your clients communication style and how to provide a strengths-based approach to transformation.
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These are all such great and EFFECTIVE ways in which to engage and empower our clients to start to both see, negotiate, and validate the ways in which they have learnt to speak to themselves, sometimes internalised voices from the past, and sometimes internalised voices through life experience. It has been one of the most beautiful and authentic moments, when clients start sharing the truths that they have lived with in their lives, and their readiness to start facing themselves with no fear, in order to change the way they live in this life.
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Deano G.
Founder/CEO
(edited)I believe that the most important thing you can do is help someone feel heard, understood, respected and important. Even if you don't know what to say, by being present and (actually) actively listening gives the other person enough perspective to help them adjust their self talk. Sometimes without saying a word; if you are truly present and emotionally connected with the other person, your non verbal communication is enough.
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Considero que hay que diferenciar si es una tendencia de la persona, su negatividad (que sea parte de su estructura de Personalidad) o solo está pasando una situación de crisis, y el señalarle justo ese aspecto con mucha cautela, sino todo lo va a tomar a mal y no va a poder escuchar Retroalimentación ni nada. O va a hacer como que escucha sin mejorar su desempeño, sea como fuere, se podrá observar en los resultados obtenidos posteriormente.
The third step to address negative self-talk is to teach cognitive restructuring techniques. Cognitive restructuring is the process of identifying, challenging, and replacing negative thoughts with more positive, realistic, and balanced ones. It is based on the idea that our thoughts influence our feelings and actions, and that by changing our thoughts, we can change our outcomes. By teaching cognitive restructuring techniques, you can help your client develop a more rational and optimistic mindset. You can also help them cope with negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, or guilt.
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Après avoir REELEMENT écouté activement votre interlocuteur, il est essentiel de rationaliser l'expression d'émotions ou de pensées négatives jouant un rôle néfaste pour que cette personne puisse être accompagné efficacement. Le retour aux faits, aux avancées réalisées, et aux tâches restantes est un bon moyen d'y arriver.
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Deano G.
Founder/CEO
(edited)After listening and understanding another person's perspective, you gain insight on the specific things they actually need help reconstructing. From my experience, this is typically "how"/"ways in which" their self talk impacts their lives. Each person is unique, so the specifics are always nuanced. That being said, by and large, sustainable change comes with 1) understanding the patterns of how your self talk impacts you 2) adjusting your relationship with words and how they impact you. 3) reinforce the desired feelings/patterns
The fourth step to address negative self-talk is to encourage self-compassion. Self-compassion is the practice of treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, especially in times of difficulty or failure. It is based on the idea that we are all imperfect human beings who deserve respect and care, regardless of our flaws or mistakes. By encouraging self-compassion, you can help your client reduce their self-criticism, shame, and blame. You can also help them increase their self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love.
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So true. We often treat strangers better than we treat ourselves. When you catch yourself doing this, remember how far you’ve come and all the adversity in your life you’ve encountered and you’re still here! Alive and kicking! And that person (you) deserves some kindness.
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Deano G.
Founder/CEO
(edited)"Be kind to the parts of you that are still learning. This is an opportunity for me to evolve/grow." This is something I say to myself in difficult moments. I share it with my clients, as a template, to help them through their fears, moments of doubt and mistakes. If we always knew the right answers, there would be no mistakes. No mistakes, means no room to grow. We are all (always) learning.
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Las expectativas elevadas traducidas en autoexigencia pueden entorpecer, se podrían, ajustar siendo más realistas, considerando los tiempos y objetivos. Humanizar el proceso y coincido en ubicarlo en no buscar la perfección
The fifth step to address negative self-talk is to promote positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are statements that express positive, empowering, and uplifting messages about oneself or one's situation. They are based on the idea that by repeating positive words, we can influence our subconscious mind and create positive changes in our reality. By promoting positive affirmations, you can help your client boost their confidence, motivation, and happiness. You can also help them attract more opportunities, resources, and support for their goals and dreams.
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I love positive affirmations!! They really do help shift our mindsets. I always have clients pick out an affirmation that they can say to themselves everyday such as “I am in control of my success” or “I am evolving.” Those are my favorite ones.
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Elizabeth Oduntan
Social Media Manager @ BillionzRise Group | Certificate Membership, Social Welfare
Positive affirmation like 'I can do it', I'm enough etc. Can help the client reprogram their minds, enough the person to repeat them daily especially when the voice creepes in their heads.
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One thing I wanted to add to this is: motivating the client toward spiritual health. Why I say this is, till now the life that we all live is only the 'DREAM'. We had never been given a chance to be in the" mind Consciousness". We are all brought up in a conditioned way not in a conscious way of mind. To be spiritually active the clients can be motivated towards mindfulness.
The sixth and final step to address negative self-talk is to reinforce behavioral changes. Behavioral changes are actions that reflect one's positive thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. They are based on the idea that by acting in accordance with our values and aspirations, we can enhance our self-esteem and satisfaction. By reinforcing behavioral changes, you can help your client maintain their progress and prevent relapse. You can also help them celebrate their achievements and reward themselves for their efforts.
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In my experience, asking clients the right questions about their self talk can be revealing for them. For example, how often do you say that? Do you believe it? Why do you think you say that? Then, give your clients a new vocabulary. Give them speeches, books, music to listen to that gives them new things to say. Introduce a Growth Mindset to you clients.
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Additional tips, we have found that creative expression can be essential in allowing clients to start to become aware of their own negative self talk - self portraits, mirror work, shadow work - this has been recognised as a safer way of starting this type of work. Chair work, writing, music, even sand tray work can be pivotal in creating safe ways for this integral healing to begin.
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Understanding; To stop negative self-talk first should to understand ,nobody can’t stop their thought but mind’s always going to think,Meditation ,build new perspectives can help to change talk , retrain the mind to stop believing every negative thought and feeling , switch negative self-talk , improve self-esteem, and use energy to do something that makes happy, training to focus on positive thinking. Self awareness ,writing down , record negative self talk , notice to critical inner voice ,Creating a space to feel safe to express their thoughts. Providing listening ear with no advice, Creating opportunities to reword what they are saying, allow them to make decision, create time and space to focus on their strengths.
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Re : point 1, I’d add to the list, what’s it trying to achieve? How is this voice perhaps trying to serve you, albeit in a maladaptive way? I’m thinking of some of the ways approaches like IFS might look at voices like this.
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I always work with my clients on establishing healthy support systems. Having reassuring and consistent people around you is priceless. Have your pets. Have your coping skills. Have your job. Have your alone time. Have your people. As humans, we are social beings. Connection with others is vital.
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