What do you do if your team members are resistant to receiving constructive feedback?

I had the nicest tennis coach on earth. I'd be playing horribly and he'd offer the gentlest corrections. One court over, the coach would literally scream at his clients – “What is wrong with you? You are playing like (*()*)*!” I’d sit there amazed that someone was paying him to coach them like that. But it worked for them! I am already extremely hard on myself. There is rarely something you can suggest that I do better that I haven’t already told myself 5 million times. The moral of the story is that, as leaders, it’s your job to understand how feedback motivates and impacts each individual. It doesn’t have to be a mystery. Ask them how different feedback styles land on then, and what will inspire style will motivate them to improve.

Providing effective feedback demands considerable self-awareness. Harbouring feelings of anger or frustration and blaming or being overly concerned with people's responses can detrimentally affect the relationship dynamic. As a leader, your capacity to instigate change significantly depends on how you navigate crucial moments. Challenging resistance often exacerbates the problem. Adopting a collective "we" mindset over a divisive "you versus me" approach fosters opportunities for growth and collaboration.

I used to work in a company with table football in my 20s. At my interview this wowed me so when I got offered the job I was thrilled. However the team I worked in turned out to be toxic. Feedback was shouting at me across the office. I soon hated it and every day I woke up in a cold sweat. I did not want her feedback. This was because she was a manager with very poor skills and was actually a bad hire for that company because she didn't uphold the culture and values. I now realise feedback is culture lead but manager fed. I now know that feedback works best when culture and values are strong and the Mgr uses a bottom up framework: "I noticed this xx, what do you think the impact is of that?"

O primeiro passo é sempre a conversa para entender o real motivo do liderado estar sendo resistente a receber feedback. Criar laços de confiança entre você e seu time pode amenizar esta questão, pois eles entenderão que os feedbacks que vierem de você tem a intenção de desenvolver a equipe da melhor maneira possível. Outro ponto que ajuda sobremaneira neste intento é ter um certo conhecimento a respeito dos perfis comportamentais. Pois se você está dando um feedback para alguém que tem o perfil conformidade como daria a um pessoa com perfil influencia, ela pode não entender e não aceitar o feedback.

Understanding the situation is an important step this is where it all should start. Having more and more conversations, being approachable and building that trust to be able to share anything is extremely important for a team to perform well.

If all if your employees are resistant to constructive feedback, the first place to look is in the mirror. Is your feedback truly constructive or is it perceived as nitpicking or mean-spirited? Have someone in HR help you ascertain this. Most often, resisting truly constructive feedback indicates a lack of organizational or personal trust. Conversely, challenging ideas and behaviors openly is a telltale sign of a high trust environment. I worked under five CEOs during my career. I recall the first time presenting a project to one of those CEOs and his leadership team. My boss instructed me that when the debates began erupting in the room, to just stand back and let it happen. This CEO fostered a high trust environment.

When talking about feedback, I am always reminded that feedback is for the benefit of the receiver not the provider of the feedback. I agree with Alan Amling here that maybe the feedback wasn't really constructive. Most cultures require upskilling on how to provide constructive feedback.

Building trust within the team is a process that requires consistent effort and genuine care. Demonstrate reliability, integrity, and transparency in interactions with team members. Encourage open communication, active listening, and respect for diverse viewpoints. It creates a sense of psychological safety where individuals feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment. Honestly check the intention of this feedback, ensuring it is not vested in revenge, grudge or blame. Building trust also involves honoring confidentiality and following through on commitments, reinforcing credibility and reliability.

Talking about intention of feedback becomes a very important aspect of building the feedback culture. And this culture is built by every person in the team. So circling back on the intention and expectation alignment is key.

The best way to create a feedback culture it for a leader to model it themselves. Once you've identified your own development goals, share them with your team. Tell them you are going to ask them for feedback every 4-6 weeks, and measure perceptions of your progress in 6 months. Teach your team the Marshall Goldsmith Feedforward model. Instead of receiving feedback on past performance, the individual receives feedforward on their proposed future actions. Feedforward focuses on constructive suggestions and ideas for improvement, rather than criticism or judgment. It promotes collaboration, learning, and growth by harnessing the collective wisdom and insights of others.

Feedback is a tricky word. at first we have to set an environment that supports positive feedback and then have multiple sessions to coach the team members on how to give positive feedback, the tonality and timings matter so much.

Creating a feedback culture entails establishing norms and practices that prioritize open and honest communication within the team. Facilitate this by promoting feedback as a collaborative process aimed at collective growth rather than criticism or evaluation. Encouraging regular feedback sessions, both formal and informal, allows team members to practice giving and receiving feedback in a supportive environment. Make it so useful that feedback is sought. Celebrating feedback-driven improvements and acknowledging individuals' efforts in embracing feedback fosters a culture where feedback is valued and integrated into daily interactions.

The essence of leadership lies in mastering the art of feedback exchange—a common and challenging journey. Navigating through this complex landscape requires a sophisticated approach that appreciates every unique viewpoint, recognizing the richness of diverse individual experiences. In today's rapidly evolving and intricate world, the key to leadership success lies more than ever in the ability to adapt your mindset and behaviors to connect with a diverse range of individuals. The core of genuinely agile leadership is embracing this adaptability with open arms. 💫

Recognizing that individuals have unique preferences and sensitivities, adapt feedback approach accordingly. This involves understanding each team member's communication style, personality traits, and preferred feedback delivery methods. Some individuals may respond better to direct, assertive feedback, while others may prefer a more nuanced and empathetic approach. Leverage personality assessments or communication style inventories to tailor feedback delivery and ensure it resonates with each individual's preferences and needs.

A personalized approach is something I have always believed in. As a manager/leader, we should have teh ability to help people thrive on their strengths. This kind of approach helps the teams achieve so much more and with great passion.

Turning Resistance into Growth: Navigating Feedback Challenges. Foster a Safe Environment: Create a supportive atmosphere where team members feel comfortable receiving feedback without fear of judgment or reprisal. Emphasize Growth Mindset: Encourage a mindset that views feedback as an opportunity for learning and improvement, highlighting the benefits of constructive criticism. By providing a supportive environment and promoting a growth mindset, you can help your team members embrace constructive feedback as a valuable personal and professional development tool.

One of the ways to offer support is also give time to people to process the feedback and circle back if needed to discuss more. Every human processes things differently so, offering time, space and compassion is always supportive.

As leaders, we aim to be supportive at all times but I have learnt to be able to tailor the support based on the individual as well. With some you can be direct with constructive critique but for others, the CCC (Compliment, Constructive critique, Compliment) had to be followed. It’s a hard balancing act as each person may not be as receptive of the feedback received. I did a course on behavior change that identifies goals, then helps break them up into sub-goals, and those into sub-sub-goals. These bite size goals are ticked off one step at a time, leading to fulfilling the end goal. I use this learning to support and help my team. It’s possible as long as they embrace the support as well.. it’s a 2-way street.

Offering support to individuals as they process feedback involves patience, lots of compassion and providing them with the resources, guidance, and encouragement they need to implement feedback effectively. Creating opportunities for peer mentoring or buddy systems allows team members to support each other in their feedback journey. Providing ongoing feedback and recognition for efforts to embrace feedback reinforces its value and encourages continued growth.

Some useful ways to provide feedback to members who are resistant to it are: 1. Offer feedback in private 2. Focus on specific behaviors rather than personality traits 3. Use a supportive and constructive tone

Follow up is key in my experience, but it's not enough to just schedule time & discuss progress. Dive deep into the resistance & uncover the root causes. Are your team members afraid of failure? Do they feel unsupported? Are they unclear about expectations? Without follow-up, feedback is just empty words. Consistent, ongoing dialogue drives real change & development. Don't just follow up—dig in. Have tough conversations. Ask uncomfortable questions. Provide resources & support. Your job as a leader isn't to avoid resistance; it's to navigate through it. Embrace the challenge, stay committed, & watch your team thrive.

Team members resistant to feedback can be tricky. Here's how to approach it: Self-Reflect: Is your feedback truly constructive? Focus on specific actions, not personal attacks. Frame it as a chance to grow, not criticize. Pick the Right Moment: Don't ambush them! Choose a private, calm setting for an open conversation. Listen Actively: Acknowledge their perspective. Maybe they misunderstood the feedback, or fear being blamed. Focus on Solutions: Work together on a plan to address the feedback. This empowers them and fosters ownership. Follow Up: Check in later to see if the plan is working. Offer additional support if needed.