How can you use mirroring to build rapport with your partner in partnerships?

In my experience, I've found that mirroring is akin to a bridge, creating a positive connection by showcasing attentiveness, empathy, and respect for my partner's perspective. As Maya Angelou beautifully expressed, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." It acts as a subtle art of understanding, tuning into emotions, motivations, and preferences, unveiling a richer connection in the dance of partnership.

What stands out to me when I think of mirroring with a partner is trying to show alignment with their company culture and ethos. Mirroring is a classic sales technique, leveraging the premise that we humans are more inclined to side with people we like. It is very shallow but true that the people we like more often than not are people like us - although this is mostly a subconscious concept. A simple way to leverage this technique of getting people see us as "like them" is to behave like them, replicate them....mirror them. Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, language style - all of this is important. Of course this is an art - done poorly this can go terribly!

Mirror Mirror - On The Ball! As an actor, mirror work with a partner is a fun exercise - facing each other and anticipating what the 'leader' partner will do next. The tutor then changes who the leader is.. as the exercise progresses - and as the 'leader' changes more frequently, the movement becomes more fluid and instinctive. If the exercise is practised, a couple can blend their actions, so as to make the one who is leading indistinct from their partner. In a business situation a similar simpatico relationship can be achieved by active listening and encouragement. This attitude induces in the other a mutual reaction. This 'oneness' is interpreted by an audience as reassurance and a shared purpose in a product or service.

During a crucial team meeting, I observed my colleague, who exuded confidence and openness through their body language. Inspired by the notion of mirroring, I subtly aligned my posture, gestures, and expressions with theirs. As the conversation unfolded, the synchronization created a harmonious atmosphere, fostering a sense of mutual understanding and cooperation.

In a recent conversation with a friend, they seemed excited about sharing their achievements. I adjusted my tone to convey genuine enthusiasm, matching their pitch and speed. The positive response indicated that mirroring their tone fostered a connection and made the interaction more engaging. It highlighted how adapting your tone can enhance communication dynamics positively.

I suggest going beyond mirroring words - but language style also. Being flexible in your style to be able to go formal, casual, colloquial etc. is really powerful. Speaking in complex, sophisticated language when someone is not suggests superiority and can be conceived as rude. When you are speaking in a casual manner and your partner remains formal - again this could be considered rude or disrespectful. Let them lead the style of conversation. Regarding specific wording - I always advocate for matching their terminology. So where there might be multiple options for the same thing (e.g. customers, clients, users etc.) then listen well to what they use and stick to it. This helps clarity in shared strategy and shows active listening.

Reflecting on past conversations, I recall a discussion where one of M&Co partner expressed concerns using specific terminology related to client assessment. By incorporating those exact words when offering support, it demonstrated a shared understanding and respect for their perspective.

I've found that mirroring can indeed strengthen connections when done thoughtfully. However, there were instances where mirroring negative cues unintentionally intensified conflicts.