Here's how you can effectively respond to professional feedback through active listening.

Feedback is a gift - whether it is delivered artfully or in a clumsy way, it means someone cares enough to share with you. So, it's to our benefit to listen to understand rather than to respond or be defensive. Make a conscious effort to hear both the words that another person is saying AND the complete message being communicated. Listen to the words and watch their body language. Give all your attention to the speaker. If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them. This will reinforce their message and help you to stay focused.

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect on what is being said and to ask questions to clarify. Reflect on what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is... ," and "Sounds like you are saying... ," are great ways to reflect back. Giving the speaker a chance to confirm or correct what you heard helps ensure that the conversation stays productive and forward focused.

After you've reflected back to make sure you are on the same page, digging deeper into the feedback can be helpful to get clarification on things that were vague or where you sense there were things unsaid. It's really important to allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions. Don't interrupt with counterarguments.

Incorporating the Socratic method into executive coaching can be a powerful tool. By asking probing questions, a coach can challenge leaders to think critically and deeply about their actions and decisions. This approach fosters growth and innovation, as it encourages leaders to be curious and inquisitive, while maintaining humility and humor. As a coach with decades of experience, I've seen firsthand how this method can transform leadership and drive meaningful change within an organization.

Avoid the "Why" questions. Start with What and How. What aspect of X led you to Y feedback? What aspect of Y feedback do you see in my day to day work? How have you approached improving at X or Y? Based on what you have shared, I should focus on X, Y, Z, is that correct? How do you recommend I assess improvement in X, Y, Z? It's a lot of variables, isolate for each variable, and stay focused. Identify next logical steps, and take them.

I understand that receiving feedback, especially when unexpected or critical, can evoke defensive or emotional reactions. However, maintaining composure is crucial for active listening. Keeping your emotions in check and approaching feedback with an open mind allows you to absorb the information objectively and respond thoughtfully. This calm demeanor underscores your professionalism and can turn feedback sessions into valuable opportunities for genuine improvement. Embracing this mindset not only enhances personal growth but also fosters a culture of constructive communication within the workplace.

Feedback is a critical component in improving performance organization-wide and is a two-way street. Feedback should be a two way street! If you're a manager, make sure you are asking for feedback from your team and that you are actively listening to what they are sharing. Be sure to do this in a way where people can feel comfortable to share. You might do it one-on-one or use a tool like Slido to gather feedback anonymously. In any case, be sure to reflect back that you heard the feedback and what you plan to do. This will encourage more and more honest feedback from your team.

Following up from feedback is so important. It does several things including letting the speaker know they were heard and their input was valuable. It also opens the door for more feedback that can help you grow. Following up can be as simple as a text saying "thanks" and telling them what you've done since. Everyone likes to hear that their feedback was taken seriously and valued.

Did you know that recent neuroscience research shows receiving feedback can stress us out and trigger our fight-or-flight response? But here's a fun twist: let’s flip the script! Instead of being passive receivers of feedback, why not become active seekers of input? After all, it’s much more exciting to take the reins! And if you need to give feedback, remember that words matter. Instead of saying "I want to give you feedback," try something like, "Can I offer you a perspective?" Small change - a big difference. Here’s the golden rule: feedback/perspectives, are only as good as the relationship. If there's trust, your input will be welcomed. If not, it might just bounce off. So, build those connections and make feedback a two-way street!

Pay attention not only to what's said, but other factors like body language, energy, and what's not being said. Don't look at feedback in a vacuum, think about the intention and the broader context of it.

Thank the person for his or her feedback. It might have been difficult to address; there may be a power imbalance (direct report to a manager, etc.). The more feedback you receive the more nimble you are with internalizing and acting on it as well as providing it. Thanking shows empathy and that you’ve been receptive.