You're navigating conflict with a team member. How can you provide feedback that fosters growth?

Often, leaders are encouraged to offer feedback prematurely. However, before offering feedback, it is important to ensure the feedback is accurate. It also is important that the team member feel heard and supported during the feedback process. For both reasons, it is helpful to advise the individual of the apparent concerns; and then let them respond. Sometimes, concerns are rooted in second-hand information or assumptions. At times, concerning behaviour exists because of personal or professional struggles with which the individual is faced. Listen to the team member's experience. Then, share your feedback again, incorporating their perspective, and offering reasonable support. Individuals often hear others better after being heard.

Use "I" Statements Tip: Frame your feedback using "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. Action: For example, say, "I noticed that the project deadlines have been missed," instead of, "You always miss deadlines." This approach makes the feedback feel less personal.

Conflict within teams can be a chance for growth if addressed objectively. Focus on the behavior causing the conflict, not the person. Provide specific examples and offer solutions, not just criticism. Shift the focus to future improvement and maintain a respectful tone. By following these principles, you can use conflict to strengthen your team.

When conflict arises with a team member, view it as a chance to develop better communication and collaboration. Frame your feedback positively by focusing on specific behaviors and their impact. Offer solutions collaboratively and emphasize how these changes can strengthen the team's future performance. Maintain a respectful tone throughout the conversation to foster a growth mindset for both of you.

Beyond support for the areas of "improvement", remind the recipient of what they did well. You want more of what they are good at, so they can become great. Identify opportunities for them to revisit what worked so it can be recreated.

During team conflict, encourage self-reflection in your teammate. Instead of solely dictating solutions, ask open-ended questions that prompt them to consider their behavior's impact. For example, "How do you think your approach might have affected the discussion?" This fosters self-awareness and empowers them to identify areas for improvement. By guiding reflection with respect and a focus on learning, you can turn conflict into a collaborative learning experience for both parties.

I have practiced feed forward which means that one should appreciate the good things in a person and also courageously and proactively speak about what areas can be improved upfront, thus enabling the person to be a better version. It is very easy to give feedback in a negative way but to use a positive ( not flowery) language is the key.

There's a dangerously missing piece in the six steps laid out here. And that's asking the other person, "Would you be open to some feedback?" If you don't ask that, and just offer your feedback, point of view, input, criticism, suggestions, or whatever you call it that's directed at them, then you're opening yourself up to taking on a torrent of resistance. You're giving someone agency to hear feedback, so they can regulate their reaction better than if they hear something they don't like and get angry, hurt, upset without some warning.

To provide feedback that fosters growth when navigating conflict with a team member: 1. **Be Specific**: Focus on specific behaviors or incidents, not generalizations. 2. **Use "I" Statements**: Express how the behavior affects you or the team (e.g., "I noticed that..."). 3. **Be Constructive**: Offer actionable suggestions for improvement. 4. **Balance Positive and Negative**: Include positive feedback to reinforce good behaviors. 5. **Be Timely**: Give feedback soon after the incident while it's still fresh. 6. **Listen Actively**: Encourage the team member to share their perspective. 7. **Offer Support**: Provide resources or assistance to help them improve.