What do you do if your assertiveness is misunderstood in a different culture?

1 Know your audience

Before you express your assertiveness, do some research on the cultural norms and expectations of the people you are working with. Some cultures value directness, while others prefer indirectness or subtlety. Some cultures appreciate feedback, while others avoid criticism or confrontation. Some cultures encourage individualism, while others emphasize collectivism or harmony. By understanding the preferences and values of your audience, you can tailor your assertiveness to suit their communication style and avoid offending or confusing them.

2 Choose your words carefully

The words you use to convey your assertiveness can also have different meanings and impacts across cultures. For example, saying "no" might be seen as rude or disrespectful in some cultures, while saying "yes" might not always mean agreement or commitment in others. Similarly, using words like "should", "must", or "have to" might sound too authoritative or aggressive in some contexts, while using words like "could", "might", or "maybe" might sound too vague or uncertain in others. To avoid miscommunication, choose your words carefully and clarify your intentions and expectations when necessary.

3 Use non-verbal cues

Non-verbal cues, such as body language, eye contact, tone of voice, and gestures, can also affect how your assertiveness is interpreted by others. For example, maintaining eye contact might be seen as a sign of confidence and respect in some cultures, while avoiding eye contact might be seen as a sign of humility and deference in others. Similarly, using gestures like pointing, nodding, or shaking your head might have different meanings or implications across cultures. To avoid confusion, use non-verbal cues that match your verbal message and the cultural context, and observe how others use them as well.

4 Seek feedback

One of the best ways to improve your assertiveness across cultures is to seek feedback from others. Ask your colleagues, clients, or managers how they perceive your assertiveness and how you can improve it. Listen to their opinions and suggestions with an open mind and a positive attitude. Appreciate their perspectives and experiences and learn from them. Be willing to adjust your assertiveness according to the situation and the feedback you receive.

5 Be respectful

Finally, the most important tip to remember is to be respectful of the people and the culture you are working with. Respect their values, beliefs, and customs, even if they are different from yours. Respect their feelings, opinions, and preferences, even if they disagree with yours. Respect their boundaries, limits, and expectations, even if they challenge yours. By being respectful, you can build trust and rapport with your audience, and show them that your assertiveness is not a threat, but a strength.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?