What common myths about resilient leadership are holding you back?

Developing resilience is hard as hell. Likewise, we have to suffer through adversity and hardships to build resilience. You cannot think resilience into happening. Look at military units, pro athletes, and any other profession that are constantly in the pressure cooker with high standards. They have to work their minds like a muscle, breakdown, build back up, repeat. Likewise, surviving trauma builds resilience. You will not acquire resilience sitting in your cube. Resilience is the ability to keep moving no matter the circumstances because the resilient mind is focused on the vision, not the circumstance.

Developing resilience requires an environment where you are afforded opportunities to fail and learn from those failures, thus building up a foundation that will support you in the difficult times. Too often, many are risk averse for fear of failure and the repercussions that may follow. The most valuable contributions were most likely preceded by failures and freedom to fail fast and move on is key.

Resilience is also about being brutally honest with yourself about what’s going right and what's not. Looking at facts beyond the opinions. I would argue that as humans we are born resilient from the moment we are conceived in our mothers' womb, We go through the ups and downs for 9 months before stepping out into the world. From the first steps, we take, no matter how many times. It is the environment we grow and the nudges we receive from influences around us that shape the way we develop our mindsets and our opinions.

Resilience requires something external to us in order to develop. This seems to be systematically forgotten. Making everything rest on the individual, when we are social beings, is still something too demanding. We are relational beings and beings that adapt to the environment. If there is nothing to hold on to, it is difficult for us to be resilient. It is something that Boris Cyrulnik explains very well in many of his books. A positive attitude, and above all, purpose, helps us not to fall into despair. But not falling into despair is not the same as being resilient. Resilience implies a reconstruction. And rebuilding ourselves is not so easy, especially if there is no external support of any kind.

While most of my fellow contributors have summed up resilience quite comprehensively, I just wanted to share that resilience is sometimes a latent skill, which only comes to the forefront in testing times. You might not consciously have built it since it is a consequence of multiple factors such as consistent preparation, winning mindset, deep self confidence and strong sense of commitment. It is beyond a doubt one of the most critical reasons why some individuals and organisations win more and outlast others, but understated since it's absence is more telling than it's presence. Like salt, you would immediately notice it's absence but deliciousness of a dish is typically attributed to other reasons.

First things first. You can't ask for resilient employees unless you already are a resilient organization. The company or business must role model resilience by embracing failure, encouraging openness around mistakes, and approaching goals with a growth mindset. If we want optimistic, proactive, innovative, collaborative teams and staff members, that can only be nurtured and grow within a compassionate, creative and resilient culture and work environment.

We're not taught resilience in school, but the great news is that you can master it now! Building inner skills like resilience is a life long process of practice. The ability to maneuver the ups and downs and bounce back is the key to growth. 3 ways you can work on this: 1) Practice Mindfulness: use meditation and deep breathing to stay grounded and manage stress. Focus on the present moment to better handle challenges as they arise. 2) Cultivate a Growth Mindset: view failures as learning experiences and believing in your ability to develop skills and overcome obstacles. 3) Build a Supportive Network: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who listen, and encourage unconditionally.

Resilience is a muscle. It must be flexed to be useful. Ways to increase the resilience muscle mass include stepping outside of one’s comfort zone and confronting the most challenging of circumstances head-on.

The misconception that resilience is an innate trait is unfounded. Resilience is a skill that can be acquired and fortified over time. While some individuals might have an inherent advantage, true resilience emerges from navigating challenges. Much like a muscle strengthened through consistent training, resilience develops as we confront adversity, adapt, and learn. Each setback becomes a chance to refine coping strategies, enhance problem-solving skills, and bolster self-confidence. To cultivate resilience, practice self-compassion, adopt a growth mindset, seek support from peers, and embrace continuous challenges. Through this process, we evolve into individuals equipped to tackle life's obstacles with tenacity and strength.

Resilience can be strengthened over time through ongoing practice, self-reflection, feedback, and support. Framing resilience as an adaptable skillset rather than an inherent quality is empowering, as it highlights our potential for growth. By cultivating a growth mindset, maintaining positivity, and connecting to our purpose, we can become more resilient in facing life's challenges. Reframing resilience as flexible opens up new possibilities for enhancing our inner strength.

Resilience is about bouncing back; Adaptability is about moving forward. Don't worry about how fast you bounce back, the most important part is that you do. And when you do, celebrate yourself as it's not easy. The much skills not taught in schools are these inner skills as the ability to maneuver the ups and downs of life is more crucial than ever. So, take your time, tap into yourself, learn from the challenges in your life, and think about how you want to progress forward in a new way that benefits your life, your health, and your career.

In matters of personal work, we cannot talk about speed. Everyone has their own rhythm. Everyone has their own vulnerability and is affected by circumstances differently than someone else. Wanting recoveries to be quick is still another requirement of this society. It demands resilience from us, and it demands speed from us, but it does not provide the means or give adequate support. It is essential that we seek support, support that nourishes us and that allows us to go at our own pace.

In my experience it isn't about bouncing back, it is about letting go and sometimes that takes time. It is in the letting go that we can grow forward faster. I talk about making this more accessible not just in the big moments but also in everyday moments by better utilizing Reset Moments.

A common misconception is that resilience is gauged solely by how quickly one recovers from setbacks. This can create undue pressure to move on without proper emotional processing and learning. True resilience goes beyond speed; it's about embracing challenges, rebounding multiple times, and persisting until desired outcomes are achieved. This enduring spirit is a hallmark of genuine resilience. To cultivate it, allow emotions, seek feedback and learning, and plan for steady progress. Resilience isn't a race to bounce back; it's a commitment to keep moving forward, no matter how many tries it takes.

Many people believe that being resilient means showing you're tough as nails in the face of adversity, that nothing stresses you out or phases you. You have a flexible band of boundaries and can adapt to any difficult situation. But the reality is, we haven't been tested by all of life's challenges. Even the most resilient people will come across a situation that will throw out their mental, emotional and sometimes behavioural being. Welcome to being human! Resilience is a process we learn. It's a process that works on the mental, emotional and physical demands created by those challenging and difficult situations...and not all situations are equal. Give yourself space to be in the process and move through it.

The problem with this myth is that too many managers seem to want people to learn how to "live with the problem" rather than choose to walk away from a solvable problem which their personal resilience is almost certainly masking From the organisational perspective, just because you can't see your people breaking, doesn't mean that the stress fractures are not already building. Yes, reflective learning is a terrific way to learn both coping and avoidance mechanisms in this regard, a genuinely important methodology for becoming more resilient - an informed bounce-back if you like. But it can only become a bounce-forward if the problem has been eliminated as a result of organisational learning. And that requires safe-space dialogue.

Resilience isn't about how fast you recover, it's about how you grow. Focusing on speed leads to shortcuts and may leave gaps that may grow to fester. Take your time to process. To reflect. To heal. To find and reconnect with your power.

Resilience is more than rapid recovery or bouncing back quickly:- Adaptation > Speed: Resilience means adjusting thoughtfully, not just swiftly. Quick rebounds might miss evolving contexts. Learning Focus: Genuine resilience values learning from setbacks. Bouncing back instantly skips vital insights. Root Solutions: Resilient leaders fix root issues, not just surface problems, preventing recurrences. Emotional Smarts: Immediate bounce-backs can disregard emotions. Resilience involves balanced emotional management. Sustainable Approach: Speedy recovery could sacrifice long-term success. Resilience balances short- and long-term needs To sum up, Resilient leadership is adaptive, growth-oriented, strategic, encompassing not bouncing back

This is really just a typical oversimplification of a complex process. Reminds me of the tired old “it take 28 days to change a habit” thing .. resilience is a function of the intensity of the triggering event, the quality of the current skill set, the time and effort (behavior) applied to recovering the psychological complexity of the situation and the individual and the broader environment in which the rebound is taking place.

Resilience is about bouncing back but not without acceptance of emotions. Failing to feel presents as un empathetic. Maybe it’s coping or maybe it’s being vulnerable. Lastly it is about grace.

Resilience can also be practiced and reinforced through interactions with others. Building resilience involves developing personal coping strategies, emotional regulation, adaptability, and problem-solving abilities. While you can cultivate these skills individually, engaging with others can provide support, shared experiences, and opportunities for collaborative problem-solving, which can contribute to strengthening your overall resilience!

While resilience is not a solo act, in my experience it does begin with the individual. I have watched people working in the same organization, with the same support system, react to and deal with adversity in very different ways. That does not mean that a strong support system isn't important, it is, and it can certainly help someone feel more resilient. But resilience is not something that can be manifested for us by others - we have to find it in ourselves.

I agree that asking for help, offering help and leaning on your support can make a huge difference. When we are in situations where we must be resilient, we are still human. Each situation is likely different but having key people to share with can make a huge impact in how leaders, lead.

We are not alone. It is our connection to humanity that provides the bounce back and the encouragement to live another day! Start with those closest, a trusted family member or friend. Share the experience and then let it go. There is something called the Holy Instant. It’s when we are present, not hashing through the past or worrying about the future but truly in the power of the moment. Then begin again! Begin with the end in mind! So much to be done! Make your life count and be an inspiration for others.

Creating an environment where people are able to experiment and make mistakes is the correct way to support others to grow, the individual should never feel alone, a good team and a good leader should always support them in the process. However, resilience in the individual is always required. Errors and experimentation always bring hardship and this effects can only be addressed by the individual itself.

In the very best organisations resilience is regarded as an organisational quality, in modern speak we might call this sustainability. It seems to me that the greater the need for personal resilience within that remit, the weaker the overall sustainability of the organisation must be. And vice-versa. When your task achievement becomes people-focussed rather than purely short-term bottom-line focussed you start to build in mechanisms which mean your people can give more of themselves, helping others cope with external unavoidable stressors.

It's not because you can do something alone that you have to do it on your own. Being resilient is about navigating and bouncing back from whatever you're going through, it isn't about proving anything to anyone. It's not about "pushing through". Recognising you might need or benefit from help is an act of resilience and so is asking for it.

Resilience thrives in collaboration. Effective leaders understand that building a resilient team and organization involves collective strength, shared responsibility, and diverse perspectives. It's not just about personal strength; it's about fostering a culture of adaptability and growth through teamwork! Afterall, Resilience isn't an individual endeavor; it's a dynamic interplay between leaders, teams, and the broader organizational context!

I think society undervalues individual needs when it comes to resilience in the face of adversity. There’s a bias towards “it takes a village.” Personally and professionally I don’t feel the myth stated here about resilience being solo is widely held. Quite the opposite, in my experience mental health professionals pathologize those who choose to solve things alone and prefer not to socialize broadly. The myth therefore is that resilience requires a social support network. This one size fits all approach marginalizes this very personal and individual experience. Some of the most resilient people I know reject the notion that psychological health require a team mentality.

Resilience is developed by our experiences, what we observe and who we surround ourselves with. Finding a mentor(s) who can coach and hold you accountable is one of the best gifts someone can have.

Be careful when they ask you to be resilient. Then ask what supports the environment offers. Remember that resilience develops when there is something in the environment that allows and favors it. It does not depend only on you. If someone tells you that it only depends on you, then it's not a good place.

Sometimes people mistake unwarranted positivity for resilience. Putting a positive spin on a situation without doing the underlying work to build one's self up creates a weak foundation for moving forward. Resilience is built on practices such as examination, acceptance, understanding, letting go, and expressing gratitude. It requires a commitment to learning from the past while not letting it get in the way of living in the present.

When we think of "resilient leader" we typically picture someone doing a stoic superman pose in the face of challenges or difficulty. The reality is that resilience forms in the midst of struggle. We tend to use tough and resilient interchangeably but being tough just means being able to take the hit. Resilience is learning how to overcome the struggle you're facing. This is where resilient leadership comes in. It's about helping your team navigate that struggle with the proper tools, mentalities, support, and guidance.

Toxic positivity is as much of a plague as negativity. Being resilient isn't about negating the difficulty or complexity of events and emotions. Emotions are information. Acknowledging them is the first step towards addressing them. Accepting the reality, grieving for what is lost and finding a new way forward.

Resilient leaders steer clear of toxic positivity. It can hinder genuine emotional processing and resilience-building, sometimes leading individuals down a harmful path. We all experience a spectrum of emotions. I strongly resonate with the idea of enhancing resilience through self-compassion, gratitude, mindfulness, and seeking professional guidance when necessary.

Don't get caught up in platitudes around success, they're oftentimes not relevant or just wrong. "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". Not true, sometimes it creates residual problems that can cripple us if not addressed. "Failure isn't an option". Not true, failure is always an option, and nothing is more important than our health and happiness. The point is, we are human beings, not human doings, and what works for me might not be best for you.

While resilience is generally associated with positivity, it's important to recognize that resilience is not always synonymous with unwavering positivity. Instead, it embodies a realistic and balanced perspective that acknowledges your strengths AND limitations. Resilience that encompasses a multifaceted approach aligns with reality. It's not about forcing a constant positive attitude but fostering an authentic and balanced response to maneuvering life's ups and downs. This perspective allows you to navigate challenges while maintaining your overall well-being and personal growth.

While resilience is generally positive in leadership, an overemphasis on it can lead to issues like ignoring systemic problems, neglecting emotional well-being, and resisting necessary change. True resilient leadership involves adaptation, addressing root causes, and fostering a balanced approach to challenges. Hope this adds up to the discussion

Resilience = Realism in most cases. Business is built on the emotion of an idea and the passion for innovation/service, but it is not ran on emotions. One of the greatest pieces of leadership advice I received early on was: Take the emotion out of it. Someone’s late? They’re late. They don’t hate their job or have a vendetta. Their car probably had issues. Resilience is about putting your personal feelings aside, and focusing on the common goal. Look at every challenge like a puzzle, not a roadblock. It takes a lot of mental strength to stay resilient in tough times. Take care of you.

Resilience requires Realism. I wanted to just say that. LinkedIn forced me to add more characters, so when faced with the obstacle I resiliently adapted and prattled on with additional unnecessary verbiage…

Be wary - a lot of organisations use resilience as a way to tolerate poor and toxic behaviours. Becoming resilient because toxic behaviours are being directed at you is like saying you need to become bullet proof because people are firing bullets at you. People need to stop firing bullets. To ensure these behaviours persist or don’t get looked at too closely, we’ve been conditioned to believe it’s down to us to change. To become resilient. "We need to stop accepting the responsibility of broken systems being passed to the people it broke." Bruce Daisley. Look for the causes of resilience being needed, and ensure your resilience is about being in it together - not excusing poor systems and behaviours.

I would say that resilience is also about curiosity. If you approach failure, negative outcomes etc with a sense of curiosity about why it happened, why you feel what you feel, why other people are responding how they are. It becomes a bit easier to find your way through the situation. It also gives you a different place to engage from

The ability to maneuver life's ups and downs with ease will greatly affect your ability to thrive in health-life-and career. Resilience is one big part of this (bounce-back), as-is Adaptability (bounce-forward). You can learn resilience through activities such as self-care, developing emotional intelligence, working on growth mindset, redesigning negative narratives, facing fears, and so much more. It's a daily practice that will help you to be your best self and a best leader to others. Embrace setbacks as opportunities to strengthen your resilience and develop valuable life skills.

As with so many things, resilience must start with mindset. A mindset that actually may lead to a variety of decisions being taken - within or outside of a role. Resilience in life being as important at business level. Building resilience is one thing, but based on recent research i conducted this year across senior most leaders, 41% were indicating they would make the decision to leave their company if things didnt improve over the next 2 years. With scope and scale of transformational challenges / opportunities they were dealing with. And these were largely competent, resilient leaders. So the question comes to this. Do I need to be more resilient, or do i actually need something different to protect myself?

Resilience is often misconstrued. It's not about tolerating incompetence or enduring toxicity. Instead, it's recognizing harm or unproductivity and having the strength to act. This means setting boundaries, seeking solutions, or even leaving toxic situations. Resilience is navigating challenges while protecting your well-being and values. It's not about passively enduring harm but addressing it constructively. It's about boldly facing issues and emerging stronger, whether by improving a situation or finding better opportunities. In essence, resilience is a tool for positive change, not an excuse to tolerate negativity.

At the heart of resilience lies psychological safety - a cornerstone that empowers individuals and teams to innovate, learn, and flourish. People will thrive when they know they can take risks, make mistakes, and grow without fear. It requires open communication, embracing mistakes as learning, encouraging vulnerability and celebrating growth. A team entrenched in psychological safety is equipped to adapt, innovate, and persevere. This safe haven nurtures resilience like sunlight nourishing a thriving garden.

There are already really great comments/perspectives here. The main thing they point to for me is that there isn't a "one size fits all" approach. We often try to boil things down to bullet points but in truth we are all individuals and will need to navigate things differently. Along those lines, I believe it is important to be careful about using labels and catch phrases because they don't mean the same thing to everyone. When we rely too heavily on them (even ones like "resilient leadership") we can unconsciously make things even more challenging because if we define those labels and catch phrases differently, we can end up speaking a different language without realizing it, ultimately creating barriers to clear communication.

Resilience like many other traits is both a natures and nurtured skill. Familial, social and environmental influence often shape our resilience and we develop the right mindset through social conditioning. Having a deep-seated purpose that one discovers through trial & error can be a great catalyst in nurturing resilience. One also must appreciate that in the name of positivity, optimism and bouncing-back we must not peddle toxic positivity. It’s okay to feel dejected, despair and self-loathing at times with the caveat that we have enough reserve of conviction in our deeply held meaning and purpose that we recoup and gather ourselves back. In this regard, I find the Stockdale Paradox quite inspiring!

One thing I've found very helpful is to understand that 'resilience', or 'grit' as some have called it, is about delayed gratification. You can only persevere when you accept that the payoff is going to take time. You become willing to restrain yourself, even in the midst of difficulty, for an expected positive outcome down the road. Realizing that the biggest wins frequently come with the greatest sacrifices is key to our success. Personally, and I know this won't resonate with everyone, faith is the best vehicle to achieve this. Allaah's promise to reward the patient without measure is extremely motivating. I taste that, so to speak, every year during Ramadan - when I fast from food & drink from dawn until sunset. Onwards and upwards!

Empathy is like a superpower for resilience. It helps me connect with others and get their support when life gets tough. It's not just about understanding others; it also helps me stay calm under stress, find solutions to problems, and deal with my emotions. Plus, it's great for resolving conflicts and feeling like I belong. I find that being empathetic is not only being kind but also makes me emotionally stronger. This strength is what helps me bounce back from tough times. Empathy is my secret tool for resilience!