How do you leverage silence and pauses?

1 Know your value

Before you enter any negotiation, you need to know your value and your target salary range. This will help you avoid settling for less than you deserve or asking for too much. Research the market rate for your role, skills, and experience, and prepare your evidence of your achievements and contributions. When you state your salary expectations, do it with confidence and conviction, and then pause. This will signal to the employer that you are serious and not willing to compromise easily.

2 Listen actively

Silence and pauses are not only useful when you speak, but also when you listen. Active listening is a skill that shows respect, interest, and empathy. It also helps you understand the employer's needs, concerns, and motivations. When the employer speaks, listen attentively and nod or make affirming sounds occasionally. But don't interrupt or fill the silence with unnecessary comments or questions. Instead, pause and reflect on what they said, and then respond with a relevant statement or question. This will show that you are thoughtful and engaged, and that you value the conversation.

3 Ask open-ended questions

One of the most effective ways to use silence and pauses is to ask open-ended questions. These types of questions cannot be answered with a simple yes or no, but require more explanation or elaboration. They can help you uncover the employer's pain points, goals, and priorities, as well as their flexibility and willingness to negotiate. Examples of open-ended questions include: What are the main challenges you are facing in this role or project? How do you measure success in this position? What are the benefits and perks that come with this offer? How do you handle salary reviews and promotions? After asking an open-ended question, pause and wait for the employer to answer. Don't rush or interrupt them, even if they take some time to think or hesitate. Silence can create pressure and urgency, prompting them to reveal more information or make a better offer.

4 Express gratitude

Another way to use silence and pauses is to express gratitude. Gratitude is a positive emotion that can build rapport, trust, and goodwill. It can also reduce conflict, resentment, and defensiveness. When you receive an offer or a concession, thank the employer sincerely and genuinely. But don't accept or reject it immediately. Instead, pause and say that you need some time to review it and get back to them. This will give you an opportunity to evaluate the offer objectively, compare it with your alternatives, and prepare your counteroffer or acceptance.

5 Practice and prepare

Finally, the most important tip to leverage silence and pauses is to practice and prepare. Silence and pauses can be uncomfortable and awkward, especially if you are not used to them or if you feel nervous or anxious. But with practice and preparation, you can overcome your fear and use them strategically and effectively. You can practice with a friend, a mentor, or a coach, and simulate different scenarios and responses. You can also prepare a script or a checklist of your key points, questions, and responses, and rehearse them out loud. The more you practice and prepare, the more confident and comfortable you will be in using silence and pauses in salary negotiations.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?