How close is too close for a handshake?

In western culture there are some general guidelines in my experience. A handshake will reveal how close people wish to be. The so called 'wet fish' handshake is invariably a sign that someone will step back, as they don't feel comfortable being too close. A 'bone-crusher' handshake comes from someone who likes to dominate the space. Standing too close to them will be seen as a challenge. A vigorous and enthusiastic shake indicates someone who is happy to engage and be close. A slow and diffident shake indicates a cautious nature, so standing too close will make them uncomfortable. It's always advisable to be aware of cultural norms.

Different cultures have diverse norms regarding personal space. By being mindful of the distance in a handshake, you show cultural sensitivity. What might be acceptable in one culture may be considered too close in another, emphasizing the need to adapt to various professional settings.

For a handshake, the ideal proximity allows you to comfortably extend your arm without leaning forward or invading the other person's personal space. Typically, this means standing about an arm's length away. Being too close can make the interaction feel intrusive or uncomfortable. It's important to respect personal and cultural boundaries, as comfort levels with proximity can vary. A good rule of thumb is to maintain a distance where both parties can shake hands without bending their elbows too much or encroaching on each other's personal space.

Segundo o livro “Eu sei o que você está pensando” de Mark Bowden e Tracey Thomson, que aborda a linguagem corporal, de acordo com o antropólogo Edward T. Hall, nosso espaço pessoal reservado a amigos íntimos, companheiros e membros da família gira em torno de 45 centímetros entre nós e a outra pessoa. Então se não está entre uma destas categorias, permaneça na distância entre 45cm e 1 metro, para evitar causar desconforto.

Pay attention to the other person's body language. If they lean back slightly or show signs of discomfort, you might be too close. Conversely, if they lean in or extend their hand eagerly, you're likely at an acceptable distance.

Flexibility is key. Being mindful of the diverse preferences of individuals and cultures ensures that you can adjust your approach accordingly. Remember, the goal is to create a comfortable and respectful interaction for everyone involved.

Another potential mistake during a handshake occurs just before the actual exchange. If someone is not comfortable with a handshake at all — for example, if they are concerned about COVID or other illnesses — preventive measures can be helpful. Additionally, the strength of the handshake is important to determine, but it should not be overly strong or weak. Avoiding eye contact is another error that can indicate a lack of confidence and credibility.

Few other mistakes Not being mindful of someone wearing a ring and gripping it hard. Sweaty palms, keep a handkerchief or tissue handy. Shaking hands after eating food with hand or even after smoking. (Keep your hands clean)

When shaking hands, there are a few typical blunders people do that might harm their rapport or destroy their initial impression. Standing too close to someone who is seated is a common mistake that can lead to an awkward angle and a power imbalance. Shaking hands across a desk or table is another mistake that can put a barrier between you and the other person, both physically and mentally. Shaking hands with your other hand in your pocket, on your hip, or behind your back is a third mistake that might be interpreted as a lack of respect, confidence, or interest. Always stand up while shaking hands, avoid stepping in front of others, and make sure your other hand is relaxed and visible to avoid making these mistakes.

Whether you're initiating a handshake or responding to one, make it a habit to stand up. This simple gesture conveys respect and equality, setting the tone for a positive interaction. It also helps eliminate any potential awkwardness associated with different seating positions.

Practice mirroring the behavior of individuals who are adept at handshakes. Mimic their approach to distance and observe the positive reactions it generates. This can help you internalize effective techniques and incorporate them into your own handshake style.

A handshake is the perfect moment to tune yourself to your counterpart and agree non-verbally on how you are going to interact. Agree on distance, firmness of the handshake, whether or not you take a step back after shaking hands to provide for extra distance. You will also both automatically adapt your body language, volume and tone of voice, so that both are at ease and within their zone of comfort. Adapting is a very human process and and does not mean you are not being authentic.

Take cultural dimensions into account in addition to personal preferences and height differences. Take a step back if you fell the person opposite feels cornered and re-consider appropriate distance with every person you meet.