How can you communicate effectively and assertively when you have an external locus of control?

Let's cut right to it - feeling powerless over your circumstances can seriously impact strong communication. But here's the truth: you always have a choice in how you respond, regardless of external factors. Let go of the victim mentality and cultivate an inner locus of control. Own your role, embrace your agency, and speak up with intention. When you take responsibility for clear self-expression, you regain communicative power. It's a mindset shift, but one that pays dividends through more confident, impactful dialogue.

Strong internal locus of control, one think that he/she has total influence over the events in our life.One is motivated and dedicated to achieving the goals established for self. These reasons explain why individuals who have strong internal locus of control typically become good leaders. You undoubtedly think that you are in charge of your own destiny and engage in activities that will improve your situation. You work hard to increase your knowledge, skills, and abilities, one keeps track of information for the use of achieving goals. By believing events in your life are dictated by fate, luck, or people in positions,where things don't go well,one might be tempted to give up because you doubt your ability to affect change.

If you would like to have more internal locus of control, connect past success with your knowledge, skills, strategy, and effort. Make it visual by writing or creating a mental map. Do the same for the three major victories - and maybe you will see the patterns.

To understand your locus of control you need to reflect on your beliefs about the degree of control you have over events in your life. This can be done by: 1. Reflecting on situations in the past surrounding challenges and successes. Did you attribute these outcomes to your own actions and choices or did you believe external factors played a larger part? 2. Do some self analysis- do you generally feel in control of your life or are outcomes seen as luck or fare or under other people's influence? Where do you attribute blame? 3. Challenge the beliefs you hold. 4. Take a psychological locus of control scale assessment. 5. Canvas opinions of friends and family (people you trust) to seek feedback on how they see you approaching challenges.

Over the years, I've come to understand that dwelling on the past and its influence on my communication style today serves little purpose and reflects an external locus of control. To overcome this mindset, I've taken proactive steps to enhance my communication skills. I'm focusing on areas such as public speaking, adjusting my speaking pace, practicing active listening, and seeking continuous feedback to refine my communication abilities. Additionally, I'm adopting a targeted approach to building a supportive network of mentors, peers, and advisors whom I engage with regularly. This deliberate effort helps me reduce reliance on external factors and take greater ownership of my communication effectiveness.

Understanding your locus of control is pivotal in resilience training and personal development. Individuals with an external locus often face challenges in assertive communication due to a perceived lack of influence over outcomes. By recognizing this tendency, individuals can consciously adopt strategies to foster a more proactive and empowered communication style. This shift is not only beneficial for personal growth but also enhances interpersonal dynamics and can lead to more effective problem-solving in both personal and professional contexts.

Several strategies are necessary to communicate effectively and assertively with an external locus of control. Be the first to acknowledge and acknowledge your emotions regarding external influences. Concentrate on the aspects of the conversation that are within your capacity to influence, such as your tone and clarity. In order to maintain concentration, it is important to formulate your arguments beforehand. Engage in active listening to gain a comprehensive understanding of the other individual's viewpoint. Express your thoughts and needs with confidence by employing "I" statements, rather than attributing them to external factors.

I asked myself 'what did I do to deserve this' for so long I believed I didn't deserve anything. No matter how much good I did. No matter how much I helped. I didn't feel deserving of anything. Complete lack of self-worth. Then my coach helped me shift my mindset. Made me realize that I (emphasis on the I) was the only one who believed that. The question 'what did I do to deserve this' hasn't stopped. I still ask it regularly. The difference is my answer to that question... Everything. I've done EVERYTHING to deserve this. Change the way you speak to yourself, and you can change your entire world!

Challenge your negative thoughts by recognising and questioning their validity. Reframe your perspective positively and focus on your strengths. This boosts your confidence, enabling you to communicate more effectively and assertively. Acknowledge that you have control over your reactions and responses, even if external factors influence outcomes.

When it comes to overcoming challenges, Michael Neill's words ring true: "The real still small voice within you doesn’t think you suck." It's a powerful reminder that our inner dialogue shapes our reality. So, if you're feeling like your locus of control is outside of yourself, it's time to flip the script. Challenge those negative thoughts head-on. Instead of letting self-doubt dictate your actions, remind yourself of your strengths and past victories. By cultivating a positive mindset and practicing self-affirmations, you'll find the confidence to assertively communicate your needs and ideas.

In challenging negative thoughts around locus of control we are trying to identify and modify patterns of thinking which reinforce a disempowered mind. You need to practice awareness of unintentional negative thoughts, dropping judgment and reframing them. Writing these down can help. Identify thoughts which reinforce an internal locus of control and carry out reps to make them stick. Identify emotions around thoughts of internal locus of control as these strengthen the belief and drive actions of self empowerment. Question assumptions you are making and cognitively restructure by replacing negative thoughts by realistic ones. Journalling around this is a very powerful practice.

An external locus of control doesn't mean your thoughts are negative. But it does indicate you need to search for the aspects of the situation that you have some power over. Otherwise, you could lose steam quickly.

There are numerous stages involved in challenging negative thoughts. To begin, recognise and acknowledge the negative notion. Ask yourself whether the thought is founded on facts or assumptions. Seek evidence that challenges the negative notion and evaluate alternative viewpoints. A more balanced, positive thought should be substituted for the negative one. Exercise self-compassion and remind yourself of your past successes and virtues. Participate in activities that elevate your mood and divert your attention from negative thoughts. Lastly, seek assistance from a mental health professional, family, or acquaintances to acquire supplementary insights and motivation.

Challenging negative thoughts is essential for building resilience. By reframing our internal dialogue, we empower ourselves to take control of our reactions and behaviours. This proactive stance is supported by research showing that positive self-talk can enhance performance and well-being.

Be realistic about goals breaking down larger goals into smaller more achievable steps. Focus specifically on those areas around goals that are within your control and celebrate any sense of accomplishment. Goals should be measurable (this is more objective), realistic and ideally time bound to make faster progress.

Make milestones for goals that seem far away from your standpoint and celebrate your progress. Milestones will help you see the pathway and keep you strolling towards the goal. This can create intrinsic motivation. Little celebrations will keep you motivated as well.

Boundaries keep you sane, both personally and professionally. Sometimes, it can be hard to set up boundaries because you may feel that your performance hinges on your ability to say yes to things. But remember, taking more tasks than you can handle will only affect the quality of your work, which is worse than taking on fewer tasks but doing them to an excellent level.

Setting boundaries is so critical to our mental well being and our ability to bounce back from adversity. But more importantly, being able to recognize where to set boundaries is often more difficult than setting them.

Resiliency in challenging times requires a stronger sense of self than when emotions are in balance. Empathy is a core building block for avoiding or solving conflict. That said, empathy is only one piece of the toolkit for resilient stability. Actually understanding the other goes further and can create stronger cohabitation and bonds.

There is no success without being unsuccessful. There is no progress without having de-progressed first. What many might think of as "negative" - feedback, failure, mistakes, etc. - are actually all synergistic positives.