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He Went That Way (2023)
Weird Pacing, Tries to Make a Villain into a Hero
The first half of this movie is gripping and interesting, but the later half of the movie becomes nonsensical and absurdist - the animal trainer starts sympathizing for his captor and then makes amends, and then it becomes a story about how the animal trainer is a hero.
Cut to the very end where the chimp is writing the story and smoking cigars. They ruined what could have been a good suspense/crime movie.
No idea what they were thinking but it just keeps getting more and more bizarre, including a scene where the villain assaults two intoxicated women and the movie wants you to think he's a lovable character.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Someone lied to Chris Pratt
Perfect example of Hollywood trying to milk a franchise - to the point that they're trying to turn it into Indiana Jones with dinosaurs.
Someone lied to Chris Pratt and told him he could act. Not only is he completely unlikable, he plays the same character in every movie with very little range.
The characters in this movie are unlikable and even the forced nostalgia by having a reunion with the original JP characters couldn't save this movie.
The plot jumps the shark with human cloning, subplot about military applications of dinosaurs (beats the original plot which was half human/half soldier dinos).
They need to end this series and reboot the series, pretending like none of the Chris Pratt/JP World movies ever existed.
Mean Girls (2024)
Shameless reboot for Gen Z feels like a soulless cash grab
The original is a classic and is relatable to different generations because it's a story about acceptance, social pressure on teens to fit in and around identity - the same things that make Breakfast club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off great to countless generations that have watched them.
This reboot sadly misses the mark, focusing too much on very Gen Z specific experiences that I don't think are relatable to anyone - let alone Gen Z itself.
Very little time is focused on character development, and it feels like they rushed the pacing to squeeze in the musical numbers into the original movie. The writing is a bit jjilted and all the charm of the original movie appears to be lost in this remake.
I'd skip it.
Slackers (2002)
Basically unwatchable
Granted I'm watching this movie 22 years late, but I remember this movie coming out with a flood of similar stoner/college films with the same premise. Decided to give it a try and it's an utter waste of time. The characters are all unlikable with no redeeming qualities. Difficult to watch - there are better college movies - including animal house, american pie and accepted - the latter of which came out during the same time as this movie.
The ending is pretty cliched, although it subverts the everything worked out trope - which I'll give it credit for. Easily a movie you'd watch once and never think about again.
Wild Wild Country (2018)
One of the best documentaries ever made - very binge-worthy!
I love documentaries and this is easily one of the top 3 documentaries I've ever watched - it's a slow burn at first, but super engrossing as it continues.
It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions - and it's not entirely clear who's in the right - the retirees of Antelope were xenophobic and likely racist, although they tiptoe around it. While the Rajneeshis got increasingly cult like until they committed the acts that they did, it's hard not to feel bad for them.
Very good documentary, and should have been the viral hit that Tiger King became (undeservedly). If you're looking for a good binge watch - this is it.
Twisted Metal (2023)
Entertaining to watch, but very immature jokes
In keeping with the original game, the jokes are pretty immature - targeted for a 13-25 male audience. Although I don't think Gen Z will have any familiarity with the Twisted Metal franchise - so it probably just seems "edgy" to them.
Despite the slapstick, gore & TnA - there's actually an interesting story and world being built. The show has been renewed for a second season and I hope they focus less on the cliched survival omance, and more on a gritty story of a delivery guy in the Twisted Metal setting. Sweet Tooth (the clown) carnage and action sequences really make this show and it's clear they'll need to lean heavily on the character for the next season.
If they're smart they'll cap this at no more than 3 season and end it before the series goes stale and becomes repetitive.
Bridge of Spies (2015)
Entertaining, but largely US Propaganda
What starts as an entertaining tale about a lawyer defending a possible Soviet spy becomes a spectacle about US exceptionalism.
Used to be a time I could watch these movies naively believing it to be an accurate depiction of the events. But, in reality the depiction of Soviets as brutal authoritarian government in the movie, torturing POW soldiers for information - while in contrast the US govt is seen handling the Soviet POW with care.
The timing of the release of this movie is funny, considering this was at the height of public revelations of US waterboarding POWs in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Overall, the movie is entertaining but it plays out as a jingoistic depiction of American virtues.
Owlegories (2014)
Indoctrination of children
This show does even try to conceal that it's indoctrinating young children into Christianity and trying to dispel science as fiction.
I tried watching 2 episodes of this show and I can safely say that each 15 minute episode masquerades as educational programming for children, but really is thinly veiled rhetoric attempting to convert and teach children about creationism in a way that attempts to undermine science and evolution.
The animation style is cute, kinda resembles a flash cartoon from the early 2000s. But, the show is a masterclass in brainswashing youth and I really hope parents look at objective reviews before letting their children watch this.
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Undisputed world's best movie
There's a reason this movie has been among the top 3 movies of all time for nearly 20 years on IMDB.
New movies come and go, but The Shawshank Redemption continues to be the highest rated movie around the world - and that's because it's a story of redemption, friendship and the reality of society told in a way that cuts across all cultures/beliefs.
If you haven't seen this movie, watch it now. It's set in an older time, so the movie never really shows its age even though at the time of writing this the movie is nearly 30 years old.
It's brilliantly acted, very emotional in ways that don't rely on cheap pandering and the music is brilliant. Might be the only movie that I've rated a 10.
Top Gun (1986)
Barely a movie, Military Propaganda
It's barely a movie - the plot is nonsensical - mostly just a montage of cool fighter jet aviation shots mixed to music.
There's a lot of one liner and 80s style make out scenes, but very little story. Worse, this movie was financed and edited by the American military - it's a love letter to recruitment and basically unfiltered propaganda.
The Simpsons: The 7 Beer Itch (2020)
Who was this episode meant for?
The entire episode feels like it's referencing an obscure movie or tv show that you need to have watched to find this remotely funny.
The story consists of a British lady who travels to Sprinfield and everyone falls in love with her. She ends up trying to romance Homer because he's not into her - and it feels like another rehashing of Homer & Mindy or Homer and Larleen or Homer and any number of celebrity guests from Jessica Simpson to Julianna Margolis as Homer's opera bodyguard.
It's one of the worst episodes in the more recent seasons of The Simpsons. They're relying on niche celebrity cameos to drive viewership. From the really weirdly voiced Marge and her (intentionally) terrible singing to jokes that fall flat because they're inside jokes amongst the script writers, this is a bad episode.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Steven Spielberg showing his bigotry
From Temple of Doom to Lost Ark, these movies are ripe with racism that was backwards even for the time they were made in.
Asides from the plot in this movie being nonsensical and the "crystal skull" looking like it was made out of cheap plastic, Spielberg once again feels the need to depict another civilization as primitive barbarians. In the movie, he shows a long lost Mayan civilization clad in loin cloths worshiping a crystal diety.
At one point, the natives are gunned down with no explanation or remorse for an entire civilization annihilated.
This might have been fine 20 years ago, but it's clearly telling that Spielberg needs to be called out for his racist portrayal of the world - from East Asia, South Asia, Middle East and South Americans. Disgusting.
How to Become a Tyrant (2021)
Entertaining, but panders to the US masses
It's a well put together miniseries, and it's interesting to see footage and animations re-enacting all the tyrannical rises of power.
It's clearly meant for mass American audiences, who may have a very insular concept of history and gepolitics. It overly explains points and skips over other issues - like CIA involvement in many of these countries.
Outside of historical gaps (like Gadaffi & Hussein revolutions were both instigated by US & UK intelligence agencies), the show really panders to the lowest common denominator in terms of the narration script and visual effects.
It's a good show to absorb in the background as you do other things, but the "playbook" concept is a bit silly.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Horribly offensive (even for it's time)
This movie became a cult classic - but was based on horribly offensive stereotypes and a portrayal of Indian Hindus as a barbaric cult. There was a lot of controversy when the film was released for its portrayal of Hindu gods and white man's savior syndrome. This was back in the 80s.
The film today is an embarassing cliche - it's difficult to watch Indy boss around a kid with a highly exaggerated Chinese accent. I'm embarassed for all the people rating this so favorably.
Lucky Louie (2006)
Painful to watch
Louis CK & Pamela Adon, both great comedians - but this show was just poorly constructed and difficult to watch.
The writing is hackneyed and cliched, with the dumb husband routine and nagging wife. Throw in a kid to make things risque as Louie swears and says things he shouldn't - it all sounds good on paper, but the execution is embarassing.
This show got cancelled and frankly, it shouldn't have been greenlit. The production value was terrible. I don't know how this has a 7 star rating on IMDB - it's not relatable unless you grew up in a 90s family sitcom.
Boardwalk Empire (2010)
Starts off great, interesting ending
Starts off great as you learn about the corruption spreading as prohibition takes off. It's a story of morality and it doesn't have a happy ending.
You're reminded this an HBO show that loosely follows real life historical figures through the rise of organized crime and the forces trying to stop them.
The later seasons start to get a bit tired and boring, but it has a strong ending.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
A little cliched but decent
It's not a great movie, but it's watchable. They managed to be less cheesy than the original MK movies of the 90s.
They changed up the designs of the costumes, which seems like a blasphemy and Gora, one of the main villains and antagonists is killed off very easily. There's some funny moments when one character declares his own fight a flawless victory.
Overall enjoyable for anyone with MK nostalgia. They really play into the damsel in distress trope with both the main character's wife and Sonya having no real agency and needing men to rescue her.
I really hope they make a sequel, but not if it focuses solely on Johnny Cage, which seems to be where they're heading.
Hellboy (2019)
Pretty boring
I guess this was one part reboot and two parts a continuation of the Hellboy franchise. They kept the same cast and continued some of the story, except they brought back some characters alive and failed to carry over parts of the last movie (like Hellboy's girlfriend being pregnant).
Overall the movie was pretty boring, they never elaborated on the villain's motivations or what they were trying to accomplish. They were just evil for the sake of being evil. The story didn't really go anywhere and it somewhat abruptly ends.
Don't waste your time watching this, just re-watch the first movie.
The Mule (2018)
Entertaining until the sugary-sweet ending
It was a good movie with great acting and a few funny jokes about how things have changed for the better (tolerance and anti-racism) and worse (cell phone obsession).
But the final chapter of the movie just becomes ridiculous - from creating an unnecessary villain in the cartel, which wasn't needed, to his redemption and finally an ending that paints a very rosy look at what his reprimand would be for trafficking drugs.
Overall watchable, but the ending was silly.
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (2020)
Entertaining but not a great translation from stage show to TV
I watched the movie, but the pacing was a bit slow since this was a stage play that they turned into a movie.
I watched it on a higher playback speed and skipped through some of the more drawn out scenes. It was enjoyable and had a really interesting perspective. At first Ma Rainey seems really demanding, but as she later discusses - she's mostly demanding for respect and to make them hurt, so that they give her proper attention and courtesy.
It really showcases how Hollywood exploited POC singers and stole their music for their own profit.
Glass (2019)
Don't waste your time
I heard good things about this - so I decided to watch it.
The movie suffers from pacing problems that make it difficult to sit through. The acting is over the top with the split personality character & the head doctor, but Morgan Freeman's acting is great and really carries the movie.
The plot is utterly nonsensical and suffers from M. Night Shyamalan's signature issues with having characters make exaggerated soliloquies. Trying to tie together the two movies (Unbreakable and Split), the movie fails at creating a coherent plot.
Love and Monsters (2020)
Zombieland with Insects
If you've seen Zombieland - you've seen this movie.
The narration, the guide, the setting and the characters all mirror much of what you've seen in the original Zombieland. The difference is that instead of zombies, it's mutant insects that somehow got radiated by fallout from nuclear missiles that were shot into space.
Ignoring the nonsensical origin story, it follows the tropes of action movies - loser boy falls in love with girl, seeks to meet her again, makes friends along the way who help train him, hero uses training to survive and meet girl and defeat evil villains. Happily ever after.
Schitt$ Creek (2015)
Entertaining, but not without it's problems
I resisted watching the show & later watched an episode, which I found boring. It wasn't until the COVID quarantine that I gave it a chance and binge-watched the entire show in a week.
It's a fun comedy that doesn't take itself too seriously. The mother is completely unlikable, and I know that's a part of the design of the character - but there was really nothing redeeming about the character. It's an easy-to-watch show that kinda spins in circles at point.
The show suffers from a few issues:
1) The only two POC characters are stereotypes - the sassy Black woman and an Indian guy with an accent, who is quick to scam people.
2) It's a bit hard to believe that the son character, who starts off bi - but then after season 1 is exclusively gay, is able to find an almost never ending supply of gay men within a very tiny rural town. And that the attitudes towards the LGBTQ in this community is so supportive, which again contradicts the close mindedness depicted in other episodes.
Overall it's still worth watching,
Pineapple Express (2008)
Entertaining first half, boring second half
Admittedly, I didn't watch this while high - but the movie's first part is entertaining - a lone loser meets his drug dealer and gets a new strain, which rival gangs are after. The second half of the movie is just boring, even with action fighting scenes and explosions - it feels tacked and doesn't really go anywhere for a comedy movie.
I can understand this is a stoner comedy, and best enjoyed while high - but it's actually pretty boring.
Starship Troopers (1997)
Good SciFi Movie Mocking Nationalism & Republicanism
The acting is atrocious, but this is a scifi movie series that doesn't take itself seriously. It's responsible for the popularization of several quotes and phrases. The movie makes fun of nationalism and the dangers of a culture that popularizes or glamorizes military culture (hint: USA).
The movie subverts what the book preaches, and in many ways the movie delivers a better more salient message than the book - namely that a utopian society built on military cultural or human imperialism is problematic.
A great scifi movie, interesting commentary on society and just a generally good, but cheesy scifi action film.