Change Your Image
utgard14
Reviews
Witchcraft (1964)
Watchable but a lot just didn't work for me
This one is a bit of a mixed bag. It starts off well enough but never really gets going anywhere interesting. The resurrected witch is basically like Kharis from the Universal Mummy series. She's just mutely killing with no personality of her own. Also the narrative and ending are trash. I'm sorry but the premise of your movie is this family's ancestors did this other family wrong, killed them and stole their land. Now in the present day the descendants are still persecuting the wronged family, yet somehow they are the good guys? There's no nuance here. We are expected to sympathize with one side and frankly, I did not. I sympathized with Lon Chaney, Jr's side. Every one on the other side seemed like they had it coming. Yet in the end they live and all the others die. Didn't leave me satisfied is all I can say.
Sugar Hill (1974)
Flat ending but still enjoyable
Fun blaxploitation horror flick. Not on par with Blacula but still entertaining. Marki Bey is beautiful and for a heroine very menacing. Don Pedro Colley steals the show as Baron Samedi. Love seeing Zara Cully in another role. She'll always be Mother Jefferson to me.
My only real quibble was the ending. The cop character is taken out of things so he never has to come into conflict with Bey's character (his former and possibly future love interest) or the zombies. This felt like a copout and made me wonder why include his character at all. Further adding to the copping out of it all is that the voodoo Baron just up and leaves at this end. They teased from the beginning that Bey would have to pay a price to get her revenge, and that price might be becoming one of the Baron's zombie brides. I was looking forward to this part of the film, to see how they would write her out of this predicament. But no, in the end he just takes the racist white girl instead. So they neuter the whole thing of most conflict and leave it with a flat ending. Woman wants revenge, woman gets revenge. No twists. A bit lazy but hey it's a low budget zombie flick not high art. It's definitely recommended to anyone who is a fan of 70s blaxploitation.
The Road to Hong Kong (1962)
Too much curry in my cornflakes
I don't think it's a surprise to say this is the least of all the Hope/Crosby Road films. It starts off slow, picks up in the middle, then drags to a conclusion. There's some Cold War spy type stuff that somehow makes the film feel more dated than the movies made in the forties. Hope and Crosby still have that chemistry, although Bob seems a bit more invested than Bing. Joan Collins doesn't offer a whole lot to things. It's inexcusable Dorothy Lamour was reduced to a cameo (one of the film's best scenes). She was still a beauty at 48 and obviously had better chemistry with the duo than Collins. Anyway, this is still worth a look especially for fans of the duo. It's not a terrible comedy by any means just a disappointment by comparison to the rest of this series.
Looker (1981)
Undercooked
This is one of those movies I tried years ago and it didn't click so I'm revisiting it in hopes I will find more to like now. I was able to finish it this time, so that's good, but it's not a new favorite for sure. I don't think this deserves the hate it gets but that isn't to say it's a good film. The premise is ok, but something is missing. It feels like the mystery doesn't build well and there's not much suspense. Frankly the resolution to the mystery is underwhelming and the climax is very flat. Even the villains are blah. On the plus side there's a cheesy theme song, nice nudity from Susan Dey and Terri Welles, and good old Albert Finney as the hero. It's watchable but forgettable.
Rio Lobo (1970)
Lesser Wayne and Hawks effort
I watched this by mistake. I intended to watch Big Jake. I have seen both before but I got the two mixed up. That's what I get for watching without checking first I guess. Anyway, Rio Lobo is a long meandering western from the Duke and Howard Hawks (his last film). It's not without its moments but it never gets close to the heights of Rio Bravo or even El Dorado. This time it's Duke teaming up with a couple of sexy young whippersnappers (Jennifer O'Neill and Jorge Rivero) to free a town from the clutches of a crooked sheriff and a guy who betrayed Duke in the Civil War. There are more detours in this story than was ever needed, frankly. It goes on way too long and at the end I really didn't care about anybody but John Wayne. Not even Jack Elam leaves an impression. The opening ten or fifteen minutes is the most exciting part. Skip it and watch Big Jake instead.
Danger in the Pacific (1942)
The only danger is boredom
Dreadfully boring adventure movie. Bland leading man Don Terry is the macho scientist persuaded by a hammy Leo Carrillo to take him to a Pacific island in search of I forget what. Andy Devine is the annoying comic relief. Beautiful Louise Allbritton is wasted as the frustrated girlfriend of Terry who forces her way into the adventure. Turhan Bey is also lurking around. Ho meets hum. This is all very routine and forgettable. Carrillo tries but can't energize this dud. None of the action excites. The comic relief is flatter than a plate of pee. The romance is even worse. He's selfish and she's a nag. I watched this for Bey and Allbritton and my desire to see all the Universal forties films I can. I won't be watching this one again.
How to Get... Revenge (1989)
Wild
This would never fly today. This is an instructional video for getting revenge on your enemies hosted by Linda Blair. She is not onscreen with the other actors. She's seated behind a desk the whole time like a news anchor and occasionally she pretends to interact with prerecorded segments. What's fascinating about this video is while Blair is playing the thing almost like it's a parody, everyone else is playing it straight.
The advice given is legitimate and in many cases would result in the arrest of the person doing it. That's why I said it would never fly in today's society where everyone files lawsuits, to say nothing of our increasingly stifling government and the Karens on social media. If this video was meant to be funny, it's not so much. I was laughing but more in the "holy cow I can't believe they're telling people to do this" way.
Worth a look for the curiosity factor and to learn some new tricks. But just keep in mind a lot of the stuff shown here is obsolete today but some of it will still work if you put in extra effort. Mostly gone are the days of anonymous phone calls from pay phones or doing things in public places that have no cameras. For those thinking about doing any of these tricks, I will be the fuddy duddy and remind you the majority of actions discussed in this video are crimes. This is even more true today than it was back then, particularly with stuff like postal regulations. Revenge sounds satisfying in the moment but trust me it's not. Unless you are an oblivious moron you'll be looking over your shoulder waiting on The Man to ambush you while getting groceries or picking up your kids from school. Your cheating ex or annoying neighbor aren't worth it.
Internes Can't Take Money (1937)
The first Kildare film
The first Dr. Kildare film, from Paramount. It has no connection to the later MGM series, of which I'm a big fan. Despite not having many of the elements I enjoy in those movies, this one is still entertaining. Joel McCrea and Barbra Stanwyck have nice chemistry. Lloyd Nolan and Stanley Ridges are great as gangsters, one rotten and one not so much. The best parts of the film are the hospital scenes that give us lots of "window into the past" bits that show us how life was at the time. Particularly how the medical profession was different. The visual style is more enhanced in these scenes, too. The hospital set is also pretty cool. Probably the one thing this film has over the MGM series. Worth a look whether you are a fan of Kildare or not.
The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)
"Evil rules, you know."
The Hammer Dracula series starring Christopher Lee comes to a whimpering finish with this lackluster effort at updating Dracula to the modern era, giving the Count a James Bond villain makeover that just doesn't work. The good parts of this boil down (not surprisingly) to Lee's Dracula and Peter Cushing as Van Helsing. Freddie Jones is good too in a small role. As with the previous attempt at updating things to the 1970s, Dracula AD 1972, this change strips the series of all its gothic trappings. What we're left with is essentially an espionage story with some devil worshipping Dracula stuff laid over it. It's not moody or atmospheric and never anything close to fun. The ending is also the weakest in the series. What a way for Dracula to go out.
Flood! (1976)
Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good
You ever watch a movie where the protagonist, even if he's in the right, is just so pushy and unlikable that you root against him? That's how it is with me and this TV disaster movie from producer Irwin Allen. The hero here is played by Martin Milner. He spends the entire first hour of the movie yelling at everyone, including women and senior citizens, one of whom he manhandles. He's so intense in every scene. It's like he's looking for a fight, even when he's talking to his buddy or his (much younger) girlfriend. He really got on my nerves. Then the flood comes and yay he was right - I guess - but I just kept hoping the flood would get him. Really obnoxious character. I found the selfish mayor putting people's lives in danger more sympathetic than this guy. Imagine watching Jaws and you root for the shark because Brody is such a dick.
Anyway, once the flood starts the movie becomes more entertaining, although even that is limited by TV budget restrictions. The rest of the cast is solid, with Robert Culp my favorite. There's a subplot involving a bandana of his that I found more interesting than every single thing involving Milner's character.
Two Smart People (1946)
"Snap out of it beautiful. Get that Mexican moonlight out of your eyes!"
In Leonard Maltin's review for this film he complains that "laughs don't come very often." I should hope not since this isn't a comedy. Seriously you have to wonder about people sometimes. This is a romantic drama with some noirish touches to it. It reminds me a little of Angels Over Broadway and Remember the Night. Both are great movies so that's definitely a compliment. John Hodiak isn't my first choice for leading man but he's a good fit for this part, unfortunate mustache notwithstanding. Lucille Ball has never been more beautiful than here and does well with a character more complex than the norm for the time. Fine support from pros like Lloyd Nolan and Elisha Cook, Jr. I enjoyed this one quite a bit. My rating may seem slightly low for the praise but I always struggle getting over the 6 to 7 hump. I'll probably raise my score next time I watch it. That's often how it goes with me. Anyway, good movie check it out. Someone tell Leonard Maltin to do the same.
Congo Maisie (1940)
"It takes a certain kind of woman to handle a certain kind of man"
One of the lesser Maisie films, at least to me, but still worth a look. This is the second entry in the series, beginning the pattern of ignoring what happened in the previous film. Maisie somehow finds her way on a ship bound for Africa. She meets up with a gruff unlikable man she inevitably will fall for (an unfortunate theme for the series). This one peddles in the clicheso of similar films of the time about natives always on the edge of uprising and lonely housewives on rubber plantations looking for Mr. Goodbar. All that stuff is the pits. Ann Sothern is the only thing that keeps this ship afloat. Every scene with her is a vast improvement over those without. Like I said, it's not one that I enjoy much so I don't revisit it often. But there's still entertainment to be had, at least when the star is onscreen."It takes a certain kind of woman to handle a certain kind of man"
Panama Hattie (1942)
Never as good as its potential
Disappointing musical comedy based off a popular Broadway show. I've read they changed quite a bit. I can believe it. This stars Ann Sothern in a role very similar to the one she was playing in the successful Maisie series at this time. Unfortunately while Maisie was written as a perpetually likable character, Hattie is an acquired taste. Her insecurity in particular is more off-putting than relatable. The supporting cast is full of good performers, but most don't get material that matches their talents. Red Skelton is especially bland here. He finally comes alive near the end but it's too late. Virginia O'Brien is the best part. Love her. The musical numbers are ok. Worth a look for fans of the stars. Just keep expectations low.
Undercover Doctor (1939)
Nice way to pass an hour
Solid B crime picture, one of several films based on stories in J. Edgar Hoover's 1938 book Persons in Hiding. I haven't read the book but I have seen all of the movies. Sounds like a real page turner. This one's about a struggling small town doctor who gets involved with gangsters. It's a fun, fast paced quickie with a good cast headed up by J. Carrol Naish, one of the great character actors of Old Hollywood. The story is slight and probably would have been fine as a 20 minute Crime Does Not Pay short. But the padding isn't bad. Naish's character's turn from meek to cocky is very sudden, however. Give it a look. It's only an hour so it's not much of a commitment.
Parole Fixer (1940)
"They aren't giving paroles away with chewing gum."
Fine B crime picture, one of several films based on stories in J. Edgar Hoover's book Persons in Hiding. I haven't read the book but I have seen all of the movies. Sounds like a real page turner. In this one, a gangster (Anthony Quinn) is set free on parole due to some shenanigans with a member of the parole board who is on the take. Directed by Robert Florey, it's a fast-paced quickie, clocking in at just under an hour. The cast is full of recognizable faces like Jack Carson, Richard Denning, Lyle Talbot, Robert Paige, and Fay Helm, among others. Quinn gives a good turn as the irredeemable killer. Definitely worth a look. A nice time-passer.
Meet the People (1944)
I don't want to meet these people
Let's put on a show for the war effort...or some arrogant playwright or something. Dick Powell plays a pompous jerk who somehow finagles a famous actress (Lucille Ball) into not only falling in love with him but also getting his play produced. The movie is basically the struggle to get the play made. The struggle, by the way, is only such because of Powell's temper tantrums. Good grief who thought this character was appealing? Powell is a likable actor but here he sulks his way through the whole film. "My show! My show! My show!" Shut up already you whiny baby. This guy wants his precious play to be authentic to real working class people, but he never seems real or working class himself.
Powell also has poor romantic chemistry with Lucille Ball. For her part, Lucy is a bit wooden and lacking the brilliant spark we all know she possessed. The supporting players like Virginia O'Brien, Bert Lahr, and June Allyson are the best part of the cast. There's also an annoying guy doing bad impressions. I'm not going to bother looking up the actor's name. Just know he's awful.
The movie is way too long for such a thin plot and commits the cardinal sin for any musical comedy: it's hardly ever fun. The musical numbers are so-so, with O'Brien's "Say That We're Sweethearts Again" being the standout. It's probably the only thing that you walk away from this film remembering.
Dangerous Partners (1945)
Intriguing mess
What a weird movie. There are no "good guys" which itself is rare for the time period. The protagonists are slimeball crooks. Of course they are up against Nazis - the only way they could possibly be rootable. The plot is a bit of a disaster. We're dropped right into the aftermath of a plane crash at the beginning of the film, left to piece together from context clues who is who and what is what. There are mysteries and murders and misdirects. I would rate this so much lower but a nice pace and some moody atmosphere in key scenes kept me interested. Edmund Gwenn is excellent. Wish he was in it more. I also wish Audrey Totter had played the Signe Hasso part. A more playful rogueish sort in the James Craig role wouldn't hurt either. While we're at it a script rewrite. I know it sounds like I hate this picture but I don't. It is a mess but at least it's not boring.
The House of Fear (1939)
Short and sweet
Enjoyable programmer helped by a solid cast of recognizable faces and a script that's wittier than it has any right being. Despite being a Universal picture, this has no connection to the Universal Sherlock Holmes film of the same name released six years later. This is a remake of the silent film The Last Warning. It's also part of the Crime Club series.
The plot isn't any better than your average Charlie Chan flick, but there are some fun characters here with some snappy lines brought to life by great character actors like William Gargan and Alan Dinehart. The standout to me was Dorothy Arnold (who married Joe DiMaggio a few months after this was released). She's a lot of fun. Anyway check this out if you like cozy old murder mysteries with a little humor.
Underwater! (1955)
Too long but the parts that are good are worth seeing
I want to start by saying I watched this on blu ray and I would recommend that to anyone who wants to give this film a shot. It's probably the best this picture has looked since it was released. The image quality really elevates the whole experience. The first time I saw this was on TCM years and years ago. I was pretty bored. I was still a little bored this time but during the lulls, the pretty images kept me interested.
There's two reasons to see this movie: Jane Russell in a bathing suit and underwater treasure hunting. When the movie delivers on either of these things, it's a thrill worth your time. Unfortunately this film is way too long and gives us entirely too little of at least one of the two things I mentioned above. The first forty-five minutes or so should have been cut significantly. As it is, things plod along at a snail's pace before it gets good. The cast is likable enough, with Gilbert Roland and Joseph Calleia standouts. Jane Russell is, of course, a stunner and makes the most of a thin part. Richard Egan is cardboard but inoffensively so.
The underwater scenes are exciting for the time and still hold up well in a Flipper sort of way. Don't expect too much and be prepared to use your fast forward button for the talky parts, and I think you'll enjoy this one well enough. Definitely see it in HD though, if nothing else than for beautiful Jane Russell.
The Mysterious Doctor (1943)
I enjoyed it but I know others will have issues
Atmospheric B movie but there's not a lot of the headless ghost stuff so monster fans might be disappointed. It's basically a mystery flick with a little horror and WWII espionage flavor. I like it but I can see it not being everyone's cup of tea. Sometimes, with classic horror films especially, fans can be very particular about what they want. Movies where the supernatural isn't real are dealbreakers for some. Not me though as I count a few of them among my favorites from the period. That being said, the headless ghost stuff we do get is neat and the mystery is pretty well done. Love the sets. I wish films from each studio today had the distinctive "look" that they did back then, with each studio having different sets and styles. Everything is homogenized now.
Ghost Catchers (1944)
"First the worst second the same"
Olsen and Johnson did four pictures for Universal, with diminishing returns each time. Hellzapoppin is an underrated masterpiece. Crazy House was fun but a big step down from Hellz. Then this one which feels like a pedestrian Abbott and Costello knock-off. They even reference that more successful Universal comedy duo in one of the film's meta jokes. Olsen and Johnson were basically a blend of A&C, Hope & Crosby, and the Marx Bros. I'm no film historian so I won't say who was first at any of the comedy devices employed by these teams. I do know who was best, at least onscreen, and it wasn't this pair. That being said, I have enjoyed their movies.
They aren't the biggest issue here anyway. The problem is the lame musical numbers. This is a common complaint today about many comedies from back then. The studios didn't seem to trust a comedy to sustain itself so they added romantic subplots and musical numbers. The best comedies rose above but this is not the best. The supporting characters are duds with some truly horrendous accents going on ("I'm a little sick of side pork and chitlins honey chile"). Lon Chaney Jr. Is wasted here in a throwaway goon role at a time he was the star of their monster films. The funniest scene in the movie involves "a horse." It's really not great but also not unwatchable. I feel like it's one of those movies I'm being too harsh on and after some repeat viewings I might feel better about it.
Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150 A.D. (1966)
It's alright but I prefer the '65 movie
I seem be with the minority opinion on these films. The first film I enjoyed for what it was. I liked the aesthetics - the colors, sets, etc. I thought it was bright and fun. Most reviewers here hated it. Now this one reviewers seem to think was better than the first and I'm of the opposite opinion. I do like this one but not nearly as much as the first one. The drab color palette, limited setting, and more "serious" tone aren't fun for me. Peter Cushing is also in this less than I would like. Anyway I guess if you thought the first Amicus Doctor Who film was too cheesy or campy then you'll probably enjoy this more. It's a little more in line with the tv series tonally, which I'm sure is part of why some people prefer it.
Narrow Margin (1990)
Pretty good
Action heavy remake of the 1952 classic about a cop trying to protect a witness on a train. While I normally don't like such things this is one remake I happen to think is a lot of B grade fun. While I think the original is the better film critically, I would prefer this one for entertainment. Gene Hackman was a great actor but it's always amusing to me to find him in stuff like this. It's kind of dumb but honestly most action movies are. It kept me entertained throughout and never had me checking how much time was left. That's a compliment given my attention span with films these days. Love the sequence on top of the train. Those are always fun.
Island of Lost Men (1939)
Better cast than this deserves
B movie about a woman (Anna May Wong) traveling to a labor camp run by a slimeball (J. Carrol Naish) looking for her father. A remake of the 1933 film White Woman, which I have yet to watch. Let's talk about the cast. We have two future stars in Anthony Quinn and Broderick Crawford. Great character actors J. Carrol Naish, Eric Blore, and Ernest Truex. Then we have cult favorite Anna May Wong, the star of the picture. She's also the only one truly playing to her strengths. The others are fine for the type of movie this is, but I've seen them all do much much better elsewhere. Naish is especially disappointing. He usually brings a touch of sympathetic humanity to all of his performances, even the villains. But here he's all bad with no redeemable traits. Compare this to any number of movies with similar villains played by the likes of Karloff, Lorre, and Atwill and you'll see how generic and uninteresting this performance is. Naish is a legend but this is not one of his best efforts.
Country Gentlemen (1936)
That laugh...
Not very funny Olsen & Johnson movie, made years before their better work at Universal (including the criminally underappreciated Hellzapoppin'). For those unaware, Olsen & Johnson were like a blend of the Marx Bros and Abbott & Costello, although they predate the latter I believe. They're not really as funny as either team but they have their moments. At least they aren't Wheeler & Woolsey.
Most of the humor in this film relies on Chic Johnson's annoying laugh. My advice to you would be to watch long enough to hear the laugh (it won't take long), then ask yourself "was that funny." If your answer is yes, strap yourself in for the time of your life. If your answer is no, turn the movie off and go watch Hellzapoppin'.