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Reviews
MaXXXine (2024)
Great style and performances, but rather bland unfortunately
Mia Goth is great (although her character is quite annoying sometimes), the re-creation of the 80s is also a bonus and the attempt to mimic the style of giallo-movies largely successful.
In large part, this is an enjoyable movie, but with a lot of flaws.
For one thing, the script lacks true emotional punch like "XXX" and, especially, "Pearl". In those movies you were invested in the characters because they were very well drawn and relatable.
In "MaXXXine", people are introduced very hastily to be bumped off rather quickly. And the actual murders were not very well executed either. If you are going for "giallo" with all the trimmings (black gloves and such things for the murderer), you should also go all the way with the murders, which is to "kill with panache". "MaXXXine" plays it safe.
The story also feels a bit meandering with certain scenes going nowhere and a finale that comes out of left-field with little build-up and a motivation for the killer that is far-fetched to say the least. There is also a distinct lack of suspense for the most part.
Brian de Palma tried to do something similar with his movie "Body double" and, although not a wholly successful movie, he succeeded better with the style and the material.
Longlegs (2024)
Overhyped, but not bad. Just a bit "meh"
I was looking forward very much to this movie because of all the raving reviews, but I have to admit that I what somewhat disappointed.
The opening is great, the cinematography stunning, the soundtrack suitably chilling and the performances in general very good.
However, when we come to the third act things start to fall apart a bit. Creepy cursed dolls, satanism and Nicolas Cage being "Nicolas Cage". Even though with heavy (rather grotesque) make-up, you will know who it is. And neither he, nor the movie, are very scary unfortunately. There's also a noticable lack of suspense in certain scenes that could have been so much better handled. I mean, what was the point of the main character letting the possessed man leave for the kitchen with his wife when she knows that he most probably will kill her?!
As many have noticed, "Silence of the lambs" seems to be the source of inspiration, but this is far from a new classic like that movie.
And why is the title-character called "Longlegs"?
Vermines (2023)
Frustrating spider-horror
I hate spiders and I loved Arachnophobia from 1990. So I was looking forward very much to watch this movie and, boy was it a frustrating watch!
First of all, I really liked the setting, a run-down suburban apartment block on the outskirts of Paris. There were some very tense and frightening scenes, a nice build-up from the beginning and great looking (most of the time anyway) spiders.
A bit into the first act we are then introduced to our main characters and they are a surprisingly annoying lot. Especially our "hero" who during the films course makes all kind of wrong or even disastrous decisions. The movie tries to make him someone who's a bit misled in life, but with a heart of gold, but in my pov it doesn't succeed. He only comes out like a whining child who knows that he is to blame for the infestation of spiders and still doesn't totally own up to it. And instead of acting, he does a lot of screaming.
The first act, although it has a nice start, is also a bit too sluggishly paced when we meet the people in the building. It gets borderline boring for a while until the pace picks up in the second act.
The second act is the best one when we follow the protagonists, who now understand the danger the spiders pose, in their attempt to escape the building and this section contains a lot of scary stuff and it's really well done. Some good edge-of-the-seat stuff really.
And in the third act the stupidity outdoes itself! They are fightning for their lives and are trying to get out, I get that, but why on earth struggle with the police (who are trying to help them) and in the end cause the death of an entire police-team just to escape themselves?
To sum it up, good scares for us who hate spiders, but the story and characters could have been much better developed.
Insidious: The Red Door (2023)
Lie this franchise to rest now, please
The Insidious-series have now reached it's fifth installment with "The Red Door" and honestly, it's nothing much to write home about.
The story this time reflects on what happened several years after the events in "Insidious: Chapter 2" (so for those unfamiliar with these films, I suggest watching the first two Insidious-movies and then this one to understand certain things that otherwise might be confusing).
It begins promisingly enough with some family problems, especially between father Josh Lambert and his son Dalton where there is a tension. Neither of them remember what happened when Dalton was a child because they have been programmed to forget the past with "the further" and "the lipstick-face demon".
However, after an interesting start, fragments of the things from the past begin to emerge for both of them and from that point, the story gets bogged down in all the familiar stuff that has been done to death in the previous films in the series.
Honestly, despite some good jump-scares, adequate performances and polished direction, the final third of the movie was actually a bit boring because it basically was so predictable with no or very little tension to talk about. I knew what was going to unfold unfortunately.
I would give the first two-thirds of the movie 5 stars (possibly even 6, it's actually quite good in certain parts) and the final third only 3, thus the rating of 4.
Orígenes secretos (2020)
Great and entertaining until the final
This movie tries to combine "Seven" with the world of MCU and largely succeeds. Make no mistakes however, it's core is the crime thriller, don't expect Iron Man-type of action.
The direction is good, the soundtrack adds atmosphere, the cinematography is top-notch, the performances by everyone, especially by Antonio Resines, Brays Efe and
Verónica Echegui, are great and the beginning of the film is attention-grabbing. Some might be a bit annoyed with the humor that at times distracts from the plot, but I found it to be tastefully integrated into the plot.
And, most importantly, it's entertaining!
However, the slight niggle I have with the movie is that the finale feels a bit underwhelming after a perfect build-up. It seems like those who wrote the script ran out of ideas and just wanted to get the reveal of the bad guy done with.
But I still loved this movie and would happily view it again.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Well made, but hugely disappointing
I will keep it "short and sweet" here in my review:
Pros
Jamie Lee Curtis
The murder of the DJ
In general, the movie has a professional look
Cons
The movie drags in spots, especially between the first death and the second one
Michael Myers appears very little in the movie
Rohan Campbell as Corey Cunningham is the main character, not "The Shape"
Rohan Campbell doesn't give a strong performance
The ending is a bit of a let-down
Many times it's actually not that scary
To finish off, the movie doesn't really feel like a part of the Halloween franchise any more than "Halloween 3" (which I liked btw). It kind of cheats the viewer expecting a powerful fight to the bitter end between Michael and his sister since the finale isn't built up like it should have been. We get a fight between them, but it's something of a yawn. This is a trilogy that started out great with the first film, the middle movie was "okayish", but the end here was unfortunately extremely poor.
Smiley (2022)
A very pleasant surprise
After I had watched the movie "Bros" and being quite underwhelmed by it, I watched this spanish tv-series and was distincly overwhelmed. These two titles are aiming for the same result, more or less, but "Bros" misses because of the superficiality and the stereotypical characters, while "Smiley" succeeds because it presents human beings instead of "plastics" and manages to tug at the heartstrings in a really good way. When watching, you want these people to feel good and be happy, even though they sometimes act stupid and say inappropriate things...just like any normal human being does. We like them, warts and all!
"Smiley" tries to do rom-com for the LGBTQ-community, but not exclusively because it's a "hetero-friendly" tv-series as well, dealing with difficulties within hetero-relationships as well.
Also, I really liked the.way they used split-screen technique. It's something that used in the wrong way could just irritate, but here it intrigues. And all in all, it's a very well produced and presented series.
The cast is very good also, from the main characters (especially Carlos Cuevas and Miki Esparbé) down to the minor ones, for instance the nanny who has a tiny, but anyway she contributes greatly to happy the ending for one of the couples.
Old People (2022)
A promise not fulfilled
This German horror-thriller starts promising enough and I think it aims for some kind of social commentary on how inhumane we many times treat our elderly (putting them into homes and forgetting about them).
However, this movie totally misses the mark. For one thing, the elderly kill people indiscriminately, good or bad, hence making them rather a unsympathetic lot.
And the home for the elderly is made too depressing, it almost feels like an open concentration camp, hence exaggerating the premise of the movie into almost a caricature, lessening the impact of any kind of message they want to put forth.
And the direction is extremely anonymous. It's very easy to see that the director has worked a lot in television because the whole movie has the look of a tv-movie with added gore.
There are some interesting bits here and there and also a few neat ideas, but basically this is an "old people-zombies movie" with a lot of borrowings from much better movies (primarily the zombie -movies by George A Romero) that feels a lot longer than it is.
The Caller (2011)
A great supernatural mystery horror-thriller
This little sleeper deserves more recognition than it got upon release. It's different, contains several nice twists in the plot and is aided a great deal by good performances and atmosphere. Rachael Lefvre especially deserves a special mention in the main role.
The thrills are of the understated variety, but even more effective for that. It's somewhat of a slow-burner, but manages to pull you in. I wouldn't say it's a horror movie, more of a supernatural thriller with horror elements.
I've seen that a few people have problems with the ending, but I felt it was quite ingenious, although a bit rushed.
All in all, it's a different kind of mystery-thriller that draws you in and makes a lasting impression.
The Resort (2021)
Skip the first 60 minutes
This movie contains so much padding storywise.
It's fairly short, around 70 minutes, but the first hour contain NOTHING scary or remotely interesting. We get characters walking, talking, swimming, walking around etc, but if you are waiting for some sort of development, you're not in luck.
Then in the last 10 minutes we finally get something that we can call action, a little bit of gore and jump scares, but a) it's a case of "too little, too late". B) it's make no sense at all and c) since the director/screenwriter ruined the identity of the sole survivor in the first five minutes of the movie, there is not an ounce of suspense.
True, the abandoned hotel (when they finally arrive at it) is a suitably eerie location and the cinematography is not bad, but the rest is a real snooze-fest. This movie feels like someone invented an excuse to get a really nice vacation in Hawaii. I'm sure that the actors and crew had a great time, unfortunately the audience don't get to share that when viewing the movie.
The Kovak Box (2006)
Great suspense
Very well acted and a quite an intriguing story. The acting was really good, especially from David Kelly and Timothy Hutton (and Annette Badland in a supporting role). Lucia Giménez was okay, but lacked a certain something (could have been the English language though). It's extremely well made with gorgeous visuals and a great score from Roque Baños (although "Gloomy Sunday" sung by Billie Holiday is the glorious song with the greatest importance in the story).
It's a good mystery with a almost perfect finale. But actually, the ending is my main objection to the story as well, it has a great build-up, but then it suddenly feels rushed. I really think that the bad guy got off the hook a little bit too easy)
But even though a few reservations, I heartily recommend "The Kovak box"
Spies in Disguise (2019)
Better than expected
I didn't have great expectations when I was going to watch this, but I was pleasantly surprised. It's cartoon-Bond with some great voice-acting, great animation, fun one-liners and a silly, but engaging plot.
I wouldn't say it's a movie for the tiniest toddlers because it's probably too scary for them, but adults and semi-adults will have great pleasure watching this. And there are actually some quite suspense to be found as well along with a not too obvious message about friendship and that lethal violence isn't always the best solution
30 Monedas: Recuerdos (2020)
Good, but not great episode
IMHO, this is probably the weakest episode of the 8. The story is fleshed out in a good way, creating more and more clues to the past, present and future, but it tries to mimic ""The Da Vinci Code" too much for my liking. And at times, the tempo of the story halts too almost a stand-still, but it gets better towards the end so you still want to continue with the next episode ;)
30 Monedas: El Espejo (2020)
Creepy episode
The third episode of 30 coins (30 monedas) is creepy with an mirror that has it's own dark secrets in another world behind the glass. The different main characters also show more of their personalities. The special effects involving the mirror are also first-rate which adds to the creepiness
30 Monedas: Ouija (2020)
Almost as good as the first episode
While not reaching the hights of the first episode, this is still very good as a continuation of the story. The ouija session is spooky and Carla Tous is good in an important role
30 Monedas: Telarañas (2020)
Very good start to the series
The first episode (more or less a sort of pilot episode since it's longer than the others) is captivating from the beginning and leaves the viewer longing for the next episode. Special mention has to go to Carmen Machi, doing great work in a difficult role that easily could have been over-played. Highly recommended!
Birds of a Feather (1989)
Hilarious - with extra praise to Quirke and Joseph
BOAF was shown briefly on Swedish television and I immediately loved it. Sure, as many other series, it sort of ran out of steam towards the end and certain episodes feel a bit cringe worthy today in their views on certain things, but all in all it's great comedy with hilarious one-liners.
The series greatest asset is the chemistry between the main actresses with special praise going to Pauline Quirke and Lesley Joseph as Dorian, the sex crazed neighbour, and Sharon. These two are great together, creating many laughs.
Linda Robson is fine for most of the time as Tracey, but she sometimes has a tendency to overact IMHO. The same goes for Alun Lewis as her husband Darryl, but Peter Polycarpou is very good as Sharons husband, greek-cypriot Chris.
The Christmas episode "Sailing" is a personal favourite along with "The front" from season 4 where Pauline Quirke and Lesley Joseph are a laugh riot together.
But all in all, no episode is really bad (even though the series didn't really hit its stride well into season 2), which actually is an achievement (although "Young guns" from season 2 comes close - it feels really dated today) and many are comedy gems
W lesie dzis nie zasnie nikt (2020)
Not bad, but not really good either
Do you wish for a horror movie that's not a silly spoof, but instead a mix of "The Blob", "The Texas chainsaw massacre", "Wrong turn" and "Scream" (the meta-references)? Longing for a frights in a setting (summer camp) that is copied from "Friday the 13th"?
Look no further than to this Polish slasher-movie! It has taken all these elements and baked them together. So we get all the stereotypes as well among the potential victims, however this time a few of them actually have interesting character-traits so you feel for them and want them to survive.
The story is filled with gaping holes (what's wrong with that priest and what is that liquid oozing out of the meteor!?), but involving anyway and tries also to blend in a bit of criticism against certain things in the current situation in Poland. These jabs are maybe a bit clumsy at times, but seem sincere. And having evil twins as monsters is probably pointing a finger towards the political twins Lech and Jaroslaw Kaczynski!
Even though that the movie at times is a bit slow-moving, I was actually hooked from beginning to end. The gore-effects, when they come, are good and will satisfy gore-hounds. The acting is okay, but make sure not to watch the english-dubbed version, the voices are terrible and make the actors seem worse than they are!
All in all, it's a decent slasher that pays hommage to many other (and many times better) movies. It's not ground-breaking in any way, but it will entertain while it lasts.
Open 24 Hours (2018)
Not bad at all
A slasher that follows the general rules and therefore can be a bit predictable. However, the performances are solid, especially from our main female character, the cinematography crisp and colourful, the soundtrack heightens the suspense without being too intrusive, the gore isn't skimped on and the direction in general effective.
The movie holds the viewers attention throughout without breaking any new grounds, but I would label it under "pleasant surprise"
Night Games (1980)
Boring, but a great soundtrack
I saw this movie ages ago, in "the golden age" of the VHS. Expecting something erotic and arousing, all I got was a lot of images of a woman running around in different states of nudity and semi-nudity. To sum it up, I was so booooored! BUT...the soundtrack by John Barry was excellent with a really nice waltz as the linking theme. Checking the soundtrack today, the titles of the different track listings are quite silly, but imaginative. We get "The phantom of the orgasm" for instance and "The dominatrix's waltz" :D. But if you manage to find the soundtrack, buy it! It's a hidden gem! And it's also the only reason I give this movie four stars. The score is worth 10, the movie itself 2.
Segunda piel (1999)
Sexy and glossy, but promises never fulfilled
This movie starts out in a very interesting fashion when the story about the married man, his wife and his male lover (hunky Bardem in a good performance) starts to unravel. The husband is devoted to his little family (wife and one son), but also need the love and affection from his male lover who has a lot of the qualities he seems to be missing (open, free-minded and spontaneous). The wife, however (an excellent Adriana Gil), starts to be suspicious about strange phone-calls and her husbands generally absent-minded behavior. Naturally she thinks that he has a mistress, but gradually the truth dawns on her...
Apart from that interesting (but somewhat banal) setup, the viewer can also enjoy the fact that it's a high-budget product with nice locations, a sumptuous score and a title sequence that could rival the ones done for Bond-movies in technical brilliance. And for those who enjoy such things (I do), you also get some surprisingly hot gay love-making between the two men even though there is no full-frontal nudity.
BUT somewhere along the way the story starts to tread water and the erratic behavior of the husband begins to get on your nerves. Basically he wants to have his cake and eat it and expect everyone else to understand HIM even though he never tries very hard to understand either his wife or his lover, who both love him dearly and want him for themselves. In a number of very typical Spanish scenes with two parts arguing (husband/wife, husband/lover), the husband whines about his situation and very soon all patience and sympathy for him has reached zero level!
So when the end finally comes, you almost breathe a sigh of relief that the wife and lover now can go on with their lives and be happy because they are truly nice people at the core and don't deserve all the aggravation the husband has caused them. So, all in all, do take a look and enjoy this high-gloss gay melodrama, it is certainly easy on the eyes and entertaining, but don't expect to be deeply moved.
La terza madre (2007)
Entertaining, but strangely "non-argentoish"
From the word "Go", I was thoroughly entertained with La Terza Madre (LTM). But in many ways I was also a little disappointed because I expected a visual treat in the "Argento-way" and a fitting close to the Mater-trilogy. Both "Suspiria" and "Inferno" (the last one among my favorite horror movies of all time) were hallucinatory experiences where the gaudy visuals and terrific set-pieces triumphed over slow pacing and confused plots. Not so here. LTM often leans more towards Lucio Fulci and the recent TV-movie "Pelts" style-wise, than to the two previous Mater-films.
LTM has a decent pace (actually I find "Suspiria" too slow for my liking), fair to awful performances (nothing new in an Argento film) and some okay set-pieces. But the gaudy visuals are almost nowhere to be seen, the style Argento offered us in the 70s and 80s has changed into a kind of polished and subdued style. Gone are the vibrant colors (almost) from "Inferno" and "Suspiria", gone is the eye-catching art design. One particular scene that underline this is a taxi-ride through Rome where Argento tries to copy a similar scene from "Inferno", but he doesn't even come close to the same intensity.
*spoilers ahead*
The finale is also a bit disappointing, but not in a too damaging way. It just feels like that after 90 minutes of build-up, you expect more of a fight between Asia and Mater Lacrymarum, who is destroyed far to easily for someone who is supposed to be powerful and omnipotent. And what about Asias magical powers? She discovers that she has quite a few tricks up her sleeve in that respect, but when the push comes to shove, she doesn't use any one of them. And there is also the fact that the police inspector, a quite insignificant role until the finale, shows up from nowhere and is made into a hero of some sort. He could have been eliminated from the final quarter without anyone noticing it.
*end of spoilers*
And there is one thing I really dislike in this movie...and that is the way the witches are presented. Apparently modern day witches look like supermodels in goth-gear, have hideous make-up and laugh hysterically at nothing unless they are occupied with semi-lesbian activities! You could very well say that they look frightening, but in totally the wrong way. They ALMOST ruined the movie for me, but only almost.
Because when I distance myself from the previous two ma(s)terpieces and judge this movie by itself, it's not really that bad (except for the witches). Like I have stated before, the pace is decent and almost never flags, performances are variable (to say the least) but fun, there is gore a-plenty (some scenes of murder are truly nasty!), some female nudity (for those who like that sort of thing with a lesbian flavor to it), one GREAT and unexpected scare, a (mostly) good score with echoes from both "Inferno" and "Suspiria"...and the movie looks good although not in the Argento-way, but more mainstream. I get the feeling that good old Dario had fun doing this movie. And the viewer will certainly never get bored...at least I wasn't.
Asia is adequate, but sometimes she shows examples of truly baaaad acting, like in a scene where she is longing for her dead mother and tries to sob. That was embarrassing! She is at her best when she has to be tough and determined. Otherwise I thought the acting was mostly quite okay, at least when you consider what kind of characterizations and lines they had to work with sometimes. Poor Daria Nicolodi was particularly unfortunate in this respect, reduced to a (poor) ghostly vision. The best set-piece is reserved for the beginning, when the antique urn is opened and the evil is unleashed. Other than that, we get a few scattered scenes where Argento can show at least something of his mastery of the medium.
All in all, I was entertained and had this movie been directed by a newcomer or someone else than Dario Argento, I think I would have given this horror movie an 8 in rating. But since I had higher expectations, it has to be a 7. Still, LTM is better than "Cartaio" (although I admire that Dario was trying something new), "Sleepless" (a decent effort but it felt a little "flat" and like he was directing half asleep) and "Phantom" (one big, expensive and failed joke!) and it's probably the best he has done since "Opera" (even though I have a soft spot for "Trauma"), so I have high hopes that his next move will be in the right direction.
Gawi (2000)
Could have been so much better
I'm afraid that I didn't like this movie very much. Apart from a few saving graces, it's nothing to write home about.
J-horror has boomed for the last five-six years but the films themselves have on more than one account been repetitive and carbon copies of a previous success. This is one of them.
Basically this is a supernatural slasher movie. The beginning is promising with chilling scenes from a morgue where a dead girl has her eyes graphically sewn together, but soon after opens them. However, after that, it's quickly downhill for this flick.
To be kind I will start with the things I like about "Gawi". On the plus side, the visuals are gaudy and the movie looks great for it's type. For those who like their horror movies gory there are a few nicely executed (no pun intended) murder scenes. We also get a few good suspense sequences/set-pieces.
However, there are quite a few drawbacks also...
First of all, and my major complaint about this movie, is that the plot skips and jumps forwards and backwards in time with an alarming intensity. Usually that's not a problem for me, but here, where the students look exactly the same no matter what age they are, I was confused on more than one occasion.
The performances are okay I guess (a little hard to tell when you don't know the language), but seem a little stiff. And for a horror movie, I don't think it was scary enough. For a while I was quite bored actually.
Being a fan of giallo movies, I was expecting quite a lot from "Nightmare", but unfortunately I was quite disappointed.
The Descent (2005)
Wow! Edge-of-your-seat-movie of the year!
This movie starts with a bang (the car crash in the beginning is truly shocking).
Then the movie settles down for some character introduction as our "heroines" begin their travel downwards into the unknown abyss. Soon they are trapped within an unfamiliar cave system and have to find another way out than the hole from where they entered. While the terrors of climbing in a dark and claustrophobic environment makes itself felt quite early (I developed sweaty palms long before I had expected!), the introduction of the underground creatures was enough to send me flying out of my seat when I watched this (among with almost the whole cinema salon audience). The atonal score that accompanies the mayhem is very effective and contributes to the overall atmosphere of dread. It's also a very nicely shot movie, gaining much from the contrast between dark and (occasional) light.
There's a lot I like about this movie, but also a few things that doesn't work (according to me):
The latex creation of the creatures are not very convincing when they are viewed up close (they should have been kept in the dark for a longer time) and the ending...well, let's just say that I thought it was interesting and very frustrating in about equal measures (sequel, anyone?!). And the women were not very interesting from the beginning. They act as good as can be expected with this type of material, but the audience is not given enough of background information to really care for them...well, maybe for Sarah. There are also a few lapses in logic. Nothing new with this genre, I would say..;D
All in all though, a superb horror movie with guts and gore and enough tension to fill at least three or four lesser horror movies. For the fans, it's a MUST!
La monja (2005)
Beautiful to look at, awful to listen to ;D
The major flaw in this Spanish slasher/shocker is within it's script. For the first half hour it's an okay effort, building some suspense and an atmosphere of fear and dread. We even get some nice killings too! Then it goes completely downhill and turns into a whole catalog of "your basic slasher clichés". I must admit that I was quite disappointed because the trailer promised so much more. The final thirty minutes consists of some killings and a lot of running around in an abandoned convent. It should have been so much better (although the final scenes in the flooded room is quite okay)!
First of all, we have the dialog. It's awful most of the time (there was quite a few giggles in the audience here and there when I saw it) and merely adequate elsewhere. It is also barely audible during a lot of scenes, drowning under the pressure of sound effects and the soundtrack (however that might not be such a bad thing after all considering the stupid lines we have to listen to!). There is one line in the whole movie that makes a reference to the "I know what you did last summer"-movies, indicating that the film makers wrote it all as one big joke, but I doubt it.
And the ending...well, some will hate it, others will dig it. For me, it was mostly a question of the former because the final twist comes from out of nowhere! If the audience had been given some clues to the girls mental status, I might have thought otherwise. It also throws all logic out of the window, because the murderer could never had been in place for some of the kills! But as an avid horror fan I have learned to live with these inconsistencies in Spanish and Italian movies.
But all is not bad. The movie has a big budget appearance, mainly due to the excellent cinematography (the scenes from past times really shines here), tight editing and an atmospheric soundtrack. Even though most of the actors are pretty bad, Anita Briem is an exception, making the most of what she has to work with. Real screen presence!
And, like I mentioned before, the killings are gory enough for the fans of such stuff and they are usually accompanied by very good special effects involving images of water (but the "water theme" tends to get tiresome in the end though).
So, to end this review, it's a movie that is quite fun in a "so-bad-it's-good" kind of way and it's also pleasing to the eye. But don't expect too much because it doesn't deliver as you probably think it will, judging from trailer and plot descriptions.