- Dan Trunkman: The first rule is, show the client a good time. The second rule, forget all the other rules.
- Susan Trunkman: It's been a tough week.
- Dan Trunkman: Yeah. Well. How about I drive?
- Susan Trunkman: Yes, please.
- Dan Trunkman: Flügel schlagen.
- Susan Trunkman: What?
- Dan Trunkman: Something I learned on my trip. It means, "You have to fight like hell... but don't forget to catch your breath now and then... and realize that everything's gonna be all right." Or it means "Turn left," probably.
- Dan Trunkman: Hey, honey!
- Susan Trunkman: I miss you! My right hand's making little circles...
- Dan Trunkman: Speakerphone! That's what you're on.
- Timothy McWinters: Hi, Susan
- Susan Trunkman: Hi!
- Mike Pancake: I like to make circles too, on my bike.
- Mike Pancake: I've never been on a business trip before. I'm pretty jacked. What do you guys do on them?
- Dan Trunkman: Can you not say your whole name today because the client can lose focus?...
- Mike Pancake: I'm Mike Pancake.
- Jim Spinch: What was your last name?
- Mike Pancake: Pancake
- Jim Spinch: Like breakfast?
- Mike Pancake: It's Greek.
- Jim Spinch: It's delicious.
- Bill Whilmsley: Yum.
- Bill Whilmsley: Dan, this is Chuck Portnoy, who you know, don't you?
- Chuck Portnoy: Those pants are so tight. Is that a crease?
- Dan Trunkman: No, I don't have a crease. Thank you!
- Chuck Portnoy: Slit?
- Dan Trunkman: No
- Chuck Portnoy: There's a space.
- Dan Trunkman: There is no space.
- Chuck Portnoy: There's actually space. It's alarming.
- Dan Trunkman: I just landed a huge deal for you and then you tell me that I'm going to take 5% less this year?
- Chuck Portnoy: You are replaceable.
- Dan Trunkman: You say that kind of stuff a lot and that's why Brian Peters wrote, 'you're a jackass' on your parking spot.
- Brian Peters: What the hell, Dan?...
- Dan Trunkman: That was one year ago. The next day I started my own company. I only have two employees. One's too old and one's too young.
- [Dan intrudes a northern European Shvitz in a business suit to find and conduct business with Helen. Northern European Spas are traditionally co-ed and nude, fully exposed and open. Members are unashamed and comfortable naked]
- Helen: You can bring your numbers here... but please don't bring your American prudishness. It makes me uncomfortable.
- [Helen sits fully exposed as Dan completely undresses]
- Dan Trunkman: [Dan, Mike and Jim are travelling in a rental car from Berlin, Germany] We're down to the minute here Mike. We have to get to Hamburg and back in two hours.
- Satellite Navigation: Automated Voice: [Car Navigation system speaks] "fleganschnallen"
- [Meaning "Buckle Up" in GERMAN]
- Dan Trunkman: Why is the GPS in German?
- Mike Pancake: I asked for it in German because we're in Germany.
- Dan Trunkman: [Looking confused] That's not... It doesn't work like that!
- Dan Trunkman: I'm next on the upgrade list... I would give you my seat but I've never been upgraded.
- Soldier: That's all right.
- Dan Trunkman: But I appreciate you. It is an honor to sit in front of you... Okay please, I'd like you to have this seat.
- Timothy McWinters: If we close this deal, I want to make love to a woman, wheelbarrow position.
- Mike Pancake: How is it a wheelbarrow?
- Timothy McWinters: One person's legs is being held up...
- Mike Pancake: Does that feel good?
- Pretty German Girl: No
- Mike Pancake: Maybe we should just try to do it normal. Maybe put me down when you get a chance...
- Dan Trunkman: I'm losing confidence in the team.
- Dan Trunkman: The good news is that we landed a big deal and we're traveling to Germany to shake on it...
- Chuck Portnoy: Hey, Dan
- Dan Trunkman: You gotta be kidding me.
- Dan Trunkman: Well you're the little guy taking on the big guy.
- Chuck Portnoy: You're going to go up against me and Dynamic Systems?
- Dan Trunkman: We're going to be hard to beat.
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