Futurama (TV Series)
A Tale of Two Santas (2001)
Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Smitty, Judge Ron Whitey, Elves
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Zoidberg : And I"m his friend, Jesus!
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Turanga Leela : Remember, professor. Bender is Santa. You don"t need to hurt him.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Yes, yes, yes. You sound like a broken mp3.
Bender : Ho, ho...
[Professor shoots Bender]
Bender : Ow!
Turanga Leela : Professor, don"t you remember what I told you?
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Judge Ron Whitey : Stop badgering the witness!
The Hyper-chicken : Badger? Where?
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Fry : We"ve gotta bring back the kind of Xmas I remember.
Turanga Leela : Fry"s right. It"s time to sit on Santa"s lap, and hard!
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Fry : This is not how Xmas is supposed to be. In my day Xmas was about bringing people together, not blowing them apart.
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[all singing]
X-Mas Elves : We are free and fairly sober/With so many toys to build/The machines are kinda tricky/Probably someone will be killed/But we gladly work for nothing
Fry : Which is good because we don"t intend to pay
X-Mas Elves , Fry , Turanga Leela : The elves are back to work today. Hooray!
X-Mas Elves : We have just a couple hours to make several billion gifts/and the labor isn"t easy
Turanga Leela : Then you"ll all work triple shifts/You can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super speed
X-Mas Elves , Fry , Turanga Leela : It"s back to work on X-mas Eve. Hooray.
Turanga Leela : And although you"re cold and sore and ugly/Your pride will mask the pain
Fry : Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Single X-Mas Elf : There"s a toy lodged in my brain
X-Mas Elves : We are getting awfully tired and we can"t work any faster
Bender : Why you selfish little bastards!/Do you want the kids to think that Santa"s just a crummy empty-handed jerk?/Then shut your yaps and back to work
X-Mas Elves : Now it"s very nearly X-Mas and we"ve done the best we could
Fry : These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Turanga Leela : And they"re made from inferior wood
Bender : I should give you all a beating/but I really have to fly
Santa-bot : If I weren"t stuck here frozen/I"d harpoon you in the eye
X-Mas Elves : Now it"s back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye
Turanga Leela : You did the best you could I guess/Cause some of these gorillas are okay
X-Mas Elves , Fry , Turanga Leela : Hooray!
Single X-Mas Elf : We"re adequette
X-Mas Elves , Fry , Turanga Leela : The elves have rescued X-Mas day. Hooray!
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth : That bloodthirsty cadaver junkie can"t touch us as long as we"re not stupid enough to leave this building.
[All cheer]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : In a related matter, you"ll all be delivering a sack of children"s letters directly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune.
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Fry : Wait a second. Maybe your futuristic Xmas isn"t so rotten after all.
Turanga Leela : What are you talking about, you crouton? You said so yourself. Xmas should be about bringing people together, not blowing them apart.
Fry : But don"t you see? Fear has brought us together. That"s the magic of Xmas.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : That"s a big crock of...
[explosion outside]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Hold me!
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Fry : I"m gonna deliver a gift of my boot up Santa"s chimney.
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Now, that evil robot Santa can"t get to us here, unless any of us are stupid enough to leave this house. In a related matter, you"ll all be delivering a sack of children"s letters directly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune.
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Fry : This is not how Xmas is supposed to be. In my days, Xmas was about bringing people together, not blowing them apart.
