Office Space (1999)

Richard Riehle: Tom Smykowski

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Smykowski : Well--well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

• Tom Smykowski : It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO.

  Michael Bolton : That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom.

  Samir : Yes, this is horrible, this idea.

• Tom Smykowski : [Smykowski is in a full-body cast]  Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me.

• Michael Bolton : You think the pet rock was a really great idea?

  Tom Smykowski : Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once. A long time ago.

  Peter Gibbons : Really, what was it, Tom?

  Tom Smykowski : Well, all right. It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.

• Bob Slydell : What you do at Initech is you take the specifications from the customer and bring them down to the software engineers?

  Tom Smykowski : Yes, yes that's right.

  Bob Porter : Well then I just have to ask why can't the customers take them directly to the software people?

  Tom Smykowski : Well, I'll tell you why, because, engineers are not good at dealing with customers.

  Bob Slydell : So you physically take the specs from the customer?

  Tom Smykowski : Well... No. My secretary does that, or they're faxed.

  Bob Porter : So then you must physically bring them to the software people?

  Tom Smykowski : Well. No. Ah sometimes.

  Bob Slydell : What would you say you do here?

• Michael Bolton : Tom, every week you say you're going to lose your job and you're still here.

  Tom Smykowski : Not this time. I'll bet I'm the first one laid off! Just the thought of having to go to the state unemployment office and stand in line with those SCUMBAGS...