After watching "Robot Holocaust", "Breeders" and now "Riot on 42nd St." I have no doubt in my mind that Tim Kincaid made the right decision in returning to his previous film career of Gay Porn. The absolute lack of emotion by the "actors" as well as the worst case of continuity problems I've ever witnessed are indicative of a director whose one and only creative decision is which body orifice, hole, or blow-up doll to stick a penis into. When your star's biggest claim to fame is doing the stunts on "Ishtar" you're not exactly looking for top tier talent to enhance an already thin plot. Guess he couldn't book any of his buds from "Mens Restroom". Bummer.
Glenn Barnes (said "Ishtar" tumbler John Hayden) has just got out of the pokey for accidentally killing some deadbeat who was harassing customers at his dad's grindhouse/comedy club/strip club/casino/stage show/delicatessen. Okay, I added the last one but come on, how many things can one cat have going on? When he returns to his old neighborhood, which happens to be a pre-Guiliani 42nd street, he immediately reopens the old club nicknamed "The Garage" with the same variety acts as before. This disturbs his main competitor Farrell who runs the "Love Connection" minus Chuck Woolery and the countless other forms of entertainment that The Garage offers. Farrell is a man after Kincaid's own heart as he physically abuses his girlfriend and mentally abuses his musclehead enforcer, Remy, probably because of the immense crush he has on him. This epic battle between smut dealers and no-talent comedy hacks (see the Yahoo Serious-like Zerocks) is causing the two cops assigned in this neighborhood to brood silently as if coma patients. Bored cop A is Michelle who loved Glenn or loves him or just maybe wanted to love him, it's hard to read this emotionless broad. Bored cop B happens to be Jeff Fahey who is slumming here, even by his own standards, must of been one hell of a bet he lost, in a short role as Frank. After an opening night massacre on Glenn's patrons forces him to face Farrell and his flunkies, the laughably awful riot ensues. At least there's plenty of nudity.
Have you ever stepped away from a movie for a few minutes, returned, and become completely lost as to what just transpired on screen to get to where it's at? Well, "Riot" is exactly like that without even having to leave anywhere! There is absolutely NO cohesion from one scene to the next. People appear in the club in one scene then in a dark sewer next. Characters stare offscreen blankly for no explicable reason as if we are supposed to guess what is capturing their gaze. Nobody shows an ounce of emotion whatsoever especially Kate Collins as Michelle. If ever there was an actress to portray someone who has been lobotomized she's the one. Tons of nude pasty white women in unflattering underwear are abound which has become a Kincaid essential of his mainstream movies. He still doesn't get that naked women for the sake of nudity is kinda pointless if we don't care to see what average looking women are like nude. Since I'm not from New York I can't recommend this on purely nostalgic purposes though I do encourage you to watch this as another wholly inept attempt at legitimate movie-making by someone who clearly has no clue how to accomplish that very thing.
