Quotes

On his role in Virgin Territory (2007) (in which he makes a cameo at the beginning): I have done a few cameos in movies and quite enjoyed it - other than this one. I did this part because I liked Hayden Christensen. I do this scene in the start of the film. I'm playing the cart pusher. All I was thinking as I was doing that was: 'What am I doing?' It was terrible, that's the way my mind works. It's terrible.

[on Peter O'Toole] He was hugely entertaining. The greatest company. A legend on screen and off.

Doctor Who (1963) was my favourite TV show and Tom Baker cast a huge spell over me as a child. I used to watch it with my dad and spent hour upon hour in the playground dissecting that week's cliffhanger - "How on earth will the Doctor get out of this one?" The Doctor is a great role model because he uses his mind rather than his fists to win. It's such a British institution because it celebrates eccentricity, not good-looking action heroes. I read all the novelisations. Later in life when Tom Baker released his autobiography I queued up to have my copy signed. I couldn't believe it when he agreed to do the voice-over for a tiny radio pilot that Matt Lucas and I were doing called Little Britain. For him, it was just another voice-over job; for me it was magic. It turns out he really is quite otherworldly - you wonder if he has come from another planet! We'd keep the tapes running between his lines because he tells the most hilarious, poetic stories. You don't know if they're true or not but they're always brilliantly entertaining. The awe that you have for your childhood heroes never leaves you.

I was obsessed with the film Flash Gordon (1980). I still am. I had the sticker album, I collected the cards in Weetabix packets and my mum bought me the single when I got into secondary school. Yes, I even wrote to Jim'll Fix It (1975) asking to meet Brian Blessed, who played Prince Vultan.

I love the idea of someone who's not prepared to compromise to fit into society. That's why my first children's book, The Boy in the Dress, is about how it's OK to be different.

I've always been drawn to talented people.

Roald Dahl got me hooked on reading. What started as an idle choice in a library because I liked chocolate has turned into a lifelong love. I've had the pleasure of going to Roald Dahl's house, meeting his widow, leafing through the manuscript of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I even got to work with his favourite illustrator, Quentin Blake, on two of my own stories. Children's books are still a guilty pleasure. I love the beautiful illustrations, the magical worlds, the fantastical journey they take you on.

I still love Flash Gordon (1980) because it's the anti-Star Wars [Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)]: camp, fun, very sexy (although I only realised that as an adult!)

I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.

I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it's over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth.

I've just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

I had a very happy childhood, but I wasn't that happy a child. I liked being alone and creating characters and voices. I think that's when your creativity is developed, when you're young. I liked the world of the imagination because it was an easy place to go to.

I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it.

I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.

The one good thing about our school was the Cadets; I chose to be in the Navy, purely for the sailor's outfit. A pity we had to give them back.

All human life can be found in an airport.

TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.

I was born in 1971, and Tom Baker was sort of my obsession as a kid and that's why we got him to do the voice over for 'Little Britain' because I was actually obsessed with Tom Baker.

I still enjoy my life, and I feel like I've achieved enough things that if I never did anything again, I'd feel confident that I'd still have made my mark in some way. But maybe the self-loathing bit is the element that makes you strive for more. Makes you strive to be better.

It's important when you're married not to forget those things you used to do when you were trying to get her to marry you. You can't send flowers and buy gifts then, when you're married, say, 'Right, get my tea on'. That doesn't go down well. So you've got to keep that level of interest going.

I just want to be happy, have kids, enjoy my life, help others and create some good work.

I haven't traditionally been a family entertainer.

When I was a child I devoured every book I could get my hands on. I loved losing myself in colorful and dramatic stories - and my absolute favorite was 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.' Everything about it electrified me, and when I re-read Roald Dahl's books as an adult it surprised me.

I don't have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.

Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favorite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practicing comedy routines.

Definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I've never had that feeling I get with women with a man.

I thrive off the company of others, I love being sociable.

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humor in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.

It's a weird thing because I've been single at the time when I've been successful. That's good and bad. Good, because you meet lots of people, bad because your privacy is infringed, so it's harder to develop things.

It can be difficult to be subtle and not cartoony in prosthetics. But when you see characters like Bubbles and Desiree from 'Little Britain' on screen, it makes all the hard work worth it. It's such fun watching those transformations.

Social satire has been around since people have been around.

I know some of my parents' friends think 'Little Britain' is in incredibly poor taste. But swimming the Channel? You can't really say anything negative about that, can you? There's nothing better than making your parents happy. The glee on my father's face that day was amazing.

I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.

People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard.

My favorite restaurant of all time is Mildreds on London's Lexington Street. It's a little vegetarian restaurant and is really fun and healthy, too. It was the first place I went to in London and really liked. That was 20 years ago, and it is still my favorite.

Children's books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I'm a children's writer myself.

I love wearing drag.

I've done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you're recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with 'Britain's Got Talent,' you're on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching - and in between you're being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch.

I've noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. It's not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you.

There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process.

I can't see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism.

I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts.

There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way.

I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck.

Sometimes you meet people who can't swim. And I always think: 'Oh my God, that's extraordinary.' For me, it's always been a treat... I just feel really happy in the water.

It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland.

I was quite fat as a kid. And swimming is a sport you can enjoy whatever size you are. If you're fat, running is a pain. I'm not really built for running.

When you are doing endurance swimming you just need to take in as many carbs as possible to put on as much weight as you can. Basically you can eat whatever you want, which can be quite fun. Everything is guilt-free.

I don't get recognized much, and am very happy with that. The fans I have met have all been delightful.