"Horse Thief" features a stellar comic cast in a Bicentennial theme. The always funny Liam Dunn plays a hansom cab owner reporting a theft to Wojo- "when did you first notice that your horse was missing?" Wojo describes the stolen property to Barney- brown eyes, brown hair, two white stockings, stands about 6'3, and weighs about 1200 lbs. (Wojo: "what do you say, we don't tell 'em it's a horse?" Barney: "I think you better tell 'em, they may come up with somebody!"). With greater crowds due to the Bicentennial celebrations, he decides to steal a horse from the police stable, earning the wrath of Officer Shriker (Ron Masak), until he realizes the animal now seems much happier. Fish recalls how he and Bernice used to ride in a hansom cab before they were married: "we'd sit there and hold hands, and I couldn't help thinking, looking at the back end of that horse, is he trying to tell me something?" Jack Dodson (first of four) plays a bloodied victim of abuse, who claims he was alone. Judy Cassmore plays the streetwalker who delivered a Bicentennial button for $60 up to his hotel room, admitting to the assault when she was forced to collect afterwards. Wojo brings in a guy (Bruce Solomon) selling clothing emblazoned with the American flag, and is chagrined to learn that he was a former Marine like himself. Harris mentions that the 'ladies of the evening' want very much to take part in the Bicentennial ceremonies, which Barney agrees must have been part of our heritage- Yemana: "sure, there were hookers around here 200 years ago...some of the same ones!" Nick has a priceless conversation over the phone with the irate victim of a pickpocket: "I'm terribly sorry to hear that sir, but it's the nature of these celebrations that the pickpockets come out with the patriots! Were you carrying cash or traveler's checks? Oh shame on you, don't you pay attention to Karl Malden? I'm sorry to hear that sir, but you better dig up some more money or you're gonna get picked up for vagrancy!"
