We can learn from mistakes, and prevent them in the future. But when we continually make the same mistake over and over, does that mean it's just our nature?

I've inflicted damage on the one I love most. Through carelessness or just being aloof, the act still wounds. Through weakness of resolve or by just needing support, I am a coward. Breaking the trust of someone that puts their heart in your hand is grievous, and yet I've done so.

I didn't even realize it at the time. That my actions of leaning on people could so hurt the one that is supposed to be my love, was lost on me. Some things are not meant to be shared. Personal things. The inner workings of a relationship, I've learned, are only for those in that relationship.

I have a habit of seeking council or support at the most minor of troubles. I am weak in that regard. I tried to improve; to refrain from being an open book. I have failed. The cost is steep. Recovery isn't possible.

Being in this community, I'm used to people over sharing. It's honestly something I like about it. But I am quick to forget that not everyone is like that. Not everyone appreciates it. Not everyone understands it.

I regret so much of my impulsiveness. Of my need for a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend. I can't take back my actions. Can I even become better? This post alone may say I cannot. But it needs to be shown. It's my flaw that needs to be displayed.

I apologize for the cryptic nature of this. It's intentional and necessary. Now I don't know what to do with myself. Everything feels...empty.

~Cherri