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Bonus Wave:
Showcasing the Girls

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Hello; this is Corps Coon.  While our friends were enjoying the Olympic Games in Paris, the rest of us were enjoying it just as much watching at home.  Lots of us who are on the payroll system are getting a break from it so that we can watch the Games, although in some cases, they'll still pay us depending on what we perform, such as when the Drumbums have their full marching bands assembled and perform the national anthem of a gold medal-winning country, or other music they feel like performing, like the football drum cadences.

Prior to the departure for Paris, however, we had one vital parade that we felt we should have had back in March, because March isn't just the month for marching bands (especially in Wildcat City), but is also women's history month, for both humans and for the animal kingdom.  Yet the weather made it impossible for us to have this until July, because the U.S. as a whole (but Wildcat City in particular) has been experiencing way more rainfall than normal, and we've had a much cooler summer than normal.  Only now are we getting into the hotter temperatures that we expected.  And it was held in Washington, D.C., because it was a way to help the C.I.D.F. do their huge documentation project.  Note that units of them specialize in that while the rest of them focus on the counter-terrorism and the act of protecting the public, even though it's clear that the public themselves have ironically become our worst enemy.  Just look at the nation of Burkina Faso right now.  (However, that's a discussion for another journal entry.)  "Who needs supervillains?" I lamented to myself.

Anyway, enough negative commenting.  On to the big highlight now.

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During the documentation proceedings, the C.I.D.F. have been able to reveal that the one and only lesson CNG had learned was that percussion instruments were not meant to strictly be played by men.  In its perfect world, that would be the case, and because of this, many parade stories you might have read involve tons of animals parading on their bare feet, with no less than 90% of them being all-male bands, or a mix of male and female furs marching.  But now, we were ready to rectify that, because here, we were able to showcase something to show that CNG had learned this lesson (though, sadly, nothing else): all-female bands.

All-female bands are nothing new, however.  It's just the first time the C.I.D.F. has documented a large case of humans that CNG had turned into animals, and here we have all females.  "Girls can play drums, too," said a female unicorn that had been documented.  "Just look at Evelyn Glennie."  Indeed, Lethias the Scottish Lion and his units of pipes and drums (he plays the bagpipes) have sang the praises of Evelyn Glennie, or Dame Evelyn Elizabeth Ann Glennie if you want to use the full name, one of the greatest living percussionists of all time.  And get this: she is profoundly deaf; she has been since she was 8 years old, and yet, look at and listen to what she does.  "If CNG had turned her into an animal, you'd easily mistake her for a Krieglandonian," Lethias once said.  "She's that good."

The bands we had in Washington, however, were all college students that usually played in mixed groups with the men, and they all attend D-I schools, all of which will remain anonymous; none of them attend WU (Wildcat University) or BMA (Battlefield Music Academy).  The fact they were all female bands, however, is primarily because it was CNG's way to trying to lure the rabble-rousers into its trap by bringing back women's lib and the attempts to pass the Equal Rights Amendement (which still failed in the end), and it didn't help that it had double standard after double standard going.  No one could understand how promoting all the women's liberation movements that people thought had been solved would ultimately motivate us to regress to a male-dominated society.  In the end, CNG failed, and the nine marching bands in question told us that while it was great to see females thriving in marching bands like this, they liked it better when there were both males and females involved.  Thus, these female bands would perform strictly as show bands similar to how the Marching Wonder has his showoffs.

"It's like they're competing to see who can be my female counterpart," he joked.  "This is still amazing; I salute these women."  And he did.

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This process took several days, but because these were full marching bands we were documenting here, the C.I.D.F. did not count them as one of the five (including one we have not showcased yet) big waves, but as a bonus wave.

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The nine all-female bands in question were divided as follows: three of them had only lionesses, the next three had only tigresses, and the last three had only female unicorns.  All three also marched in the same color order: turquoise, pink, and purple.  "Those were the easiest colors to use to help us prove our point."  No military field drums here; just the football drums and drum majorettes.  These girls had been trained on the concert percussion and the military field drums, however, in the event their schools needed fife and drum music, but here, it was all about the football drums.  (That's my name for the modern battery percussion you hear at football games; the rope-tensioned drums you see in military bands are what I like to call "soldier's drums.")

Leo and his administration saluted the bands as they marched past them in the parade.  

Later, the White House lawn played host to these same bands, and each band, one of a time, put a different field show on for us.  All nine of them played the national anthem in unison, as well as "Hail to the Chief," and it prompted the Guinness World Records staff to present each of the chief drum majorettes (as opposed to the flag dwellers and other majorettes) with certificates to confirm the record.  (Judge Marcus performed the timpani drum roll during the announcement, and I voluntarily crashed the cymbals at the end.)  Cheers and applause followed from the crowds watching, and all nine bands then played the "Womp Womp" song that I've heard the Cougar Brass play, among others.  (The Cougar Brass is the marching band that plays for the University of Houston; this also is where you'd find Shasta the Cougar and his female counterpart, Sasha.  Neither one of those two were with us here, but they did send their congratulations to the nine bands.)  They followed it up with the UH fight song, indicating that while they were now attending various different schools, they were all originally proud residents of Texas (and still are when all was said and done).

It was otherwise the same old story of animals marching on their bare feet, but the lionesses, tigresses, and unicorns did so here as their way of acknowledging the historical aspects of CNG liking nothing more than seeing barefoot animals marching lockstep (although, again, 97% of the time it was male animals).  They also did this to represent that their history classes taught them the story of William Gurdetha and the mistakes he made, and how CNG was delighted with him.

As for the uniform styles, the lionesses and tigresses each wore custom-designed uniforms based on the schools they attended, but they found a way to wear skirts, allowing the majority of their legs to be exposed, as well as their paws.  "What does that represent?" I asked as the ladies lined up to be documented.  One lioness took the position of being the drummer of honor, but she opted to continue to play her football snare drum, rather than use one of the concert snare drums.

"It's the same story with some of the guys we've marched with, I believe," said the tigress in purple serving as chief drum majorette of her units.  "As little kids, we all grew up with that show, 'The Adventures of Drummer Dog,' which has half-naked animals.  CNG apparently likes half-naked animals wearing these uniforms; you can see this with all the bears being documented.  But we felt that for the men, it works, but for us, it doesn't.  It felt uncomfortable for some reason.  Our solution was to do this type of skirt design so that we wouldn't feel so embarrassed, but at the same time, give it what it wanted.  We were trying to protect ourselves."

"Well, it didn't get what it wanted in the end, as you well know," Leo replied.  "In a way, you helped beat it, because as your field shows demonstrated, and we thank you for presenting them for us, the music you played were modern arrangements of songs it hated.  It wanted you to strictly play military march music, although by its beliefs, you should sit back and leave the music to the men.  You didn't.  You should be quite proud of yourselves."  He reiterated this in a speech he gave later on, following the big announcement that they had earned their place in the GWR books.

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When each full unit had been documented, the ladies were dismissed to go about their business, although they took some time to take in the sights and sounds of the city.

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When the units with the lionesses and tigresses performed next, they were able to get their wish of playing alongside their male counterparts, although the color-coding continued in alternate patterns.  However, every single unicorn ever documented was female.  This was an unfair gender stereotype on CNG's part.  To compensate for this, there were enough anthro horses that volunteered to play alongside the unicorns, giving them the full experience of hearing the "clop, clop" sound of their hooves marching in step.  The units to this day alternate between performing as separate genders, and as one larger unit, all the while helping to illustrate Leo's points about how the larger variety of music they played (and that football bands play in general) ultimately helped contribute to CNG's demise.

The chosen color-code pattern was as follows, and it was chosen based on surveys taken and how the animals voted: if the females wore turquoise, the males wore red.  If the females wore pink, the males wore blue.  (That one was a bit predictable, don't you think?)  If the females wore purple, the males wore orange.  The females continued to wear the skirt versions of their uniforms when it was appropriate, but also had separate uniforms ordered with the pants to match, so that it would look more professional.  The males, though, just wore the full uniforms.  Some of them experimented with what it looked like to be half-naked, and again, many of them had originally been that way.  In the end, it was best to just do it the safe way with the pants.  Still, it did help teach us all an important lesson about CNG as a whole, and how its perfect world was anything but that.

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All nine units, both male and female, held their own Olympic watch parties later on, and similar to the Drumbums, they'd play music when it was appropriate (including the Olympic fanfare and theme).

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THE END