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Chapter 4

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We noticed that with the military animals and animals in the drum major uniforms, CNG had modified their behavior in such a way so that while they were still behaving like mature civilized adults, they had an unconscious habit of marching like soldiers instead of just walking.  We saw this when they exited Cripto’s basement to return to Dark Wolf’s tunnels; they began to march.  The animals also showed this by standing in a single file line, and marching in silent steps when approaching us.  Only a handful of them would chant to themselves, “Hup, 2, 3, 4!”, repeatedly, and then command themselves to stop by saying, “Company, halt!”  Then they remained at attention, although some of us took the liberty of telling them, “Parade rest.”  They obeyed.

“There was nothing CNG liked better than seeing barefoot animals marching lockstep,” we said.

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At this point, Dark Wolf was fully healthy again, and so the guests agreed to have him and his marching band and drum corps units that made up Black Wolf Troop 222 lead them in a parade around his castle.  The parade, however, only involved those in drum major uniforms, the military, the formal fancy dress, or any other circus-themed performers such as ringmasters (and we did have quite a few ringmasters) that were attending the convention.

“Why have the tuxedo and the suit-and-tie animals march?” one C.I.D.F. soldier asked him.

“They said that CNG had mistaken some of them for former soldiers when they never served at all,” Dark Wolf reported, “and so they also have a tendency to march.  Marching is good for the soul, though.  The more, the merrier.”

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42. A tiger in a green drum major uniform with silver highlights, even though the pants were black with silver stripes.  He was a percussionist.  While he usually played in concert halls, the nature of the concerts required drum major uniforms instead of formal fancy dress.  He took great pride in beating the drum roll that led to the playing of the national anthem.

“Some concerts require us to march,” he said, “almost a bit like a military tattoo.”  We nodded.

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43. A tiger in a purple drum major uniform with silver highlights, although he also used black pants with silver stripes.  He was a percussionist.

44. Two tigers in red drum major uniforms; the first one had silver highlights, but he, too, also experimented with black pants.  The second tiger had gold highlights, and decided on red pants to match; he had also originally ended up as a half-naked tiger as the result of having offspring that liked watching “The Adventures of Drummer Dog.”  Both were drummers, of course.

45. A tiger in a green drum major uniform with gold highlights, and a peaked cap with the traditional harp symbol.  He experimented with navy blue pants having the silver stripes going down.  He was a percussionist.

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Note that we are not allowed to make assumptions about whether or not the musician in question is a percussionist; we have to state every single time whether they are or not.  CNG gave us more percussionists than brass, woodwind, strings, or keyboard musicians, so it’s not a surprise to see that we had more percussionists than the others.

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46. A tiger in a green drum major uniform with gold highlights; he had also ended up half-naked originally, and had to order the pants to match later, but he also made the pants green with gold stripes.  His shako contained a gold symbol identical to the Presidential symbol of the eagle holding arrows in one talon and olive branches in the other.  He was a percussionist.

47. A tiger in a red drum major uniform with gold highlights; he was also half-naked and had to order the pants to match, and he also made them red.  He was a percussionist.

48. A tiger in a purple drum major uniform with gold highlights, although he wore black pants with gold stripes.  He also frequently played in concerts that wanted its musicians to wear such uniforms.  He was a percussionist.

49. A tiger in a purple drum major uniform with silver highlights.  He was a percussionist, and he also was originally half-naked.  He wore purple pants to match today.  “Did that Gurdetha fellow tolerate half-naked animals?” he asked.

“As far as we know,” we said, “he would have been okay with it.  He wasn’t specific.  He just said he wanted a world full of animals, no humans, and all animals had to be barefoot.  Bears would be the superior animal, and he would be the superior bear to everybody.  He was too twisted in the head.”

“I can see why.  I knew the humans were mean to him.”

“Think of that as an early example of how CNG set up the humans so that they would go extinct in the end.”  The tiger nodded.

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50. Two tigers, each in a blue drum major uniform with gold highlights, although they were both percussionists that originally ended up half-naked.  Today, they wore the blue pants to match.  The tigers revealed themselves to be twin brothers originally.

51. The tiger cub that followed them was the son to the first tiger and nephew to the second tiger, and added to the count of half-naked animals that were percussionists, that ordered the pants to match.  The difference was that his uniform was purple instead of blue, even it had the gold highlights.  The son had a history of typical bad behavior that many kids show, but when he became a tiger, he felt constant guilt and remorse for everything he did, even though he did not speak about it until later on.  He rapidly matured when CNG got to him as a result, and after making amends with those he wronged, he spent about 90% of his free time playing the drums.

52. A white lion in a purple drum major uniform with silver highlights; he was also half-naked and had to add the pants later, and also made them purple with silver stripes.  He was a percussionist.

53. A white lion in a purple drum major uniform with gold highlights; he was a percussionist, too.

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54. The sequence of musicians was broken when we spoke to another lion wearing a t-shirt and blue jeans; he was just a college student majoring in biology.  “Some of my classes frequently mention how CNG punished humanity for hurting the environment,” he said, “but it did not take into account how some things became more efficient because we have factories, for example.”

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55. We then went back to the musicians; the next two gray wolves wore purple drum major uniforms with silver highlights, and were percussionists.  Both experimented with black band shorts instead of full pants.

56. A brown wolf in a purple drum major uniform; he was a percussionist.

57. Three more gray wolves in purple drum major uniforms with silver highlights.  They were percussionists.

58. A cougar in a purple drum major uniform with silver highlights, but he used black pants.  He was a percussionist.

59. Two more cougars in purple drum major uniforms with gold highlights, and they were percussionists.  Both ended up half-naked and had to order the pants later, and both used the same purple color to match.

60. Three jackals currently serving in the U.S. Marine Corps.  The first one wore a formal dress uniform he custom-ordered so that he could have the dark green and brown combination he had in mind.  The other two wore battle camouflage with the hats to match.  They did not play any instruments.

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Here’s where we will pause and pick it up later.

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TO BE CONTINUED