You can make this cake become a reality and less of a lie by using this recipe to make your own cake inspired by the video game Portal. Enjoy!

Portal Cake

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What you'll need
2 boxes chocolate cake mix
6 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups water
2 containers chocolate frosting
1 container coconut pecan frosting
2 bags semi-sweet chocolate morsels
1 can white cake frosting
8 marochino cherries
1 long white candle
3 9" cake pans (pre-greased)
Cake leveler (or knife for leveling cake tops)
1 large mixing bowl
1 rubber spatula
1 large saucepan
1 medium or small saucepan
1 dough blade
1 picture of Aperture Science Portal Cake (to use as a basis of comparison to what your real one should look like if you are unsure.)

1. Place cake mix, eggs, water, and oil into large mixing bowl and mix well with electric mixer or whisk until batter is smooth.
2. Pour batter evenly into 3 cake pans and bake at 350 degrees farenheit for approx. 30 minutes, or until done. To determine if cake is done baking, insert a toothpick into the center of the cake as deep as you can, then remove. If the toothpick comes out clean, the cake is done baking. If batter is still present on the toothpick, the cake is not done baking and needs a little more time.
3. Once cakes are done baking, remove from the oven and allow them to fully cool.
4. Level the tops of the cakes by slicing off the mounded cake top and discard.
5. Using a rubber spatula, begin frosting the cakes with the chocolate frosting, layering them until all three layers are completely frosted.
6. Place frosted cake into the freezer for about 10 to 15 minutes to chill.
7. While cake is chilling, make a double-boiler with your saucepans, filling the large saucepan halfway with water, and gently placing the medium or smaller saucepan inside the larger one. Set on the highest flame until water is boiling. Reduce heat to medium and add chocolate morsels to the smaller saucepan.
8. Stir morsels until fully melted and smooth.
9. With a dough blade, spread out the melted chocolate onto a wax paper-lined cookie sheet and then place into the freezer to chill, about 10 to 20 minutes.
10. Remove cake from the freezer. You should be able to touch the frosted cake without getting any frosting on your fingers.
11. Begin frosting the frozen cake with the coconut pecan frosting. Once completely frosted, place cake back into the freezer.
12. Once melted chocolate is fully frozen, remove from the freezer and separate from the wax paper.
13. Begin breaking the sheet of chocolate into pieces, and with a knife or dough blade, begin chopping the chocolate pieces into small nibs.
14. Place nibs back into the freezer to chill back up again.
15. Remove cake and nibs from the freezer. Begin coating the outside of the cake with the frozen chocolate nibs until completely covered.
16. Place 8 dollops of white frosting evenly around the circumfrence of the cake, large enough for a marochino cherry to be placed in the middle. Place one dollup of white frosting in the center for where the candle is going to go.
17. Set aside 8 marochino cherries and drain them so that the juices do not collect on the dollops.
18. Place a marochino cherry in the center of each dollop going around the circumfrence of the cake.
19. Insert a long candle in the middle of the center dollup.
20. Place in refrigerator to keep chilled until ready to serve.
21. Break GLaDOS's heart by tearing her to pieces by removing her individual cores, one core at a time, and place cores into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.
22. Go outside and watch GLaDOS's fiery remains plummet to the earth.
23. Enjoy cake GLaDOS-free.