And this right here is the result of another intrusive thought/dream never giving me a moment's peace of mind until I give it the grease it so desperately squeaks for.

I realize these types of things are not my most popular works, but I am not one who actively courts popularity.


For those who don't court downloading...

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A few nights ago, I was hit with another one of those dreams that roll about in my head and refuse to detach. Unlike my Robin Hood remake one however, this is more positive, but no less intrusive.

(As an aside, I have since learned that a Robin Hood remake is indeed in the works, so we might see how right my dream was in a few years.)

I have made no secret before of my troubled view of Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time. To recap, the music, visuals, acting and game design and basic premise are all top-notch, but it’s the story and plenty of character interactions where the ball is dropped.

Repeatedly.

Into a bowl of week-old mayo and lime custard.

This dream attempted to ask the question of how the main villain of the game, Cyrille LeParadox, can be improved. Despite being the mastermind of the whole time traveling scheme to destroy the Cooper lineage and retroactively install himself as emperor of the world, the skunk is a complete nonpresence save some name drops until the final stretch of the game.

Those who follow me closely and know me well enough know that I love a good villain and hate one with potential that is never realized.

So, I decided to answer the question the dream posed and semi-answered. To give Sly 4 a fair shake, I also tried to do so while causing as little change to the story as possible.

So what is the answer I came up with?

A basic implementation of the ‘show, don’t tell’ rule.

In said final stretch where LeParadox is put on the board, it is revealed via exposition dump that his family was a long line of thieves much like Sly’s. Much less successful as it is revealed Ceril’s father attempted to steal Sly’s father’s glory and frame him, only for the reverse to happen. This revelation is something the game NEVER messes with.

Before anyone goes ham on me, this is not meant to be an angry, smug ‘I could do better’ kind of thing. I’m not a game dev, though someday I hope to be involved with making a game in some capacity, so I don’t know how things went over at Sanzaru Games when Sucker Punch handed them the chance to make Sly 4. This is just my personal thoughts over how one little change could heavily impact the game’s story and help it’s main baddy achieve some greater sense of scope in the plot.

Now, the question becomes, how does adding this little detail change the game? Well…

Intro Mission
The window scene is still in place, making sure above all else the audience gets a view of the bushy-tailed silhouette of Cyrille himself.
On a side note, Carmelita manages to chase Sly down to point of climbing on their vehicle and taking aim through the windshield just as the time machine kicks in. Despite Sly’s attempts to grab her, Carmelita ends up lost in the time stream, already signifying the twisted mess the gang is in this time.

Going Japan
In essence, this would be a minimal appearance. In the mission where Murray and Bentley go fishing for ingredients for Rioichi’s sushi, they realize someone has broken into the fishing caves after they opened the seal and is trying to steal every fish in the water. (This includes poisonous ones mixing with the good stuff, meaning the skunk has no idea what he’s doing.) This is the reason for the time limit in the fishing mini game, not to mention some extra platforming peril as the skunk is riling up the more man-eating varieties.

During this ruckus, Rioichi reveals the skunk to be known only as Foita: a jealous rival and failure of a chef, but no one of any real worth.
As Murray and Bentley leave the caves, the troublesome skunk is close at hand, and appears ready to slice the duo to ribbons, but is literally tripped up by the waiting ninja raccoon. The patter of guards forces them to leave the skunk in a pile of what little fish he could steal.

Whether he has ties to El Jefe (the world’s boss) is unknown and unlikely as side talk from guards reveal his terrible sushi knockoff are making them sick.

Go West Young Raccoon
This too is an inconsequential addition, at least on the face of it. While Toothpick is still the head honcho as Sheriff, his actions are given greater power by the newly sworn mayor, (nicknamed Stinkin’ Joe) whom everyone from Tennessee Kid Cooper to lowly guards assume is just a figurehead placed by the tin-star armadillo for the reason of carte blanche.

In truth, the real mayor of the town is hidden away in the same maximum-security block as the Cooper gang is when they’re captured and made to be saved by Tennessee and a very chagrined Carmelita.

Speaking of Carmelita, because of the new way she was brought into the timeline, she took is unaware of the real crook involved in all this, therefore foregoing the undramatic reveal of the original, but just as ticked at Sly for his lying. She aids the gang if only to instill the real mayor back in his position of power. Which is done when, during a new mission to steal a map to the train routes, Tennessee busts him for trying to make off with a few stolen gold bars, which Toothpick fumes over and throws him in jail. The gang still careens off a broken bridge at the mission’s end as the map never specified the bridge was out.

Clan of the Cave Raccoon
This world is where, by necessity, the story begins to change as the LeParadox line becomes much more prominent in the gang’s activities. As if being stranded in prehistoric times wasn’t bad enough, the gang has found themselves deadlocked between two forces: The Grizz and his egg-stealing schemes and a tribe of various animals that live in the area.

Much like in the original, The Grizz’s plans of making fake cave paintings has robbed the area of it’s egg supply and therefore put Bob (The First Cooper) out of a job, in a slump, then in a cage. The trouble begins when Sly finds Bob, where the crew has the chance to steal Bob’s cane as they rescue him. Things are complicated though as a loincloth laden skunk manages to snatch it, alerting more guards to Sly and Bob’s presence and forcing them to retreat.

During the following cutscene, Bob explains the skunk was a fellow forager, called Dddlkeellsaslallasilop (Nicknamed Lop). He was never on the same level as Bob and rejected his offers for training at every turn. Now with Bob’s cane, there’s no question the skunk plans to usurp him as chief egg collector.

During the mission where Bentley is tailing The Grizz through his egg operation, we see the results of various (failed) attempts on the skunk’s part to nab the giant eggs rolling through the place, only towards the end giving Bentley a chance to shoot a tracker dart on him so they can find his hideout as well as tail The Grizz.

This results in a new Murray and Bob-based mission where the gang has tracked the skunk to his own cave, where he appears to have got himself an egg.

A very small egg.

An egg that’s glowing.

An ‘egg’ that Murray finds very familiar.

Bearing in mind the gang’s method of time travel is limited to objects from that time and place and they used Murray’s aboriginal necklace for the jump, Murray surmises the egg must be the moonstone of his koala master. This outrage, coupled with his feelings of inadequacy he has throughout the chapter, causes Murray to charge into battle without a thought.

Though Lop is not the best climber, Murray’s inability to climb at all gives the skunk ample space to get away. Much to Murray’s disappointment, Bob is once again the one to literally rise to the occasion, though it’s not just for his own cane, but to get back the stone his teacher Murray feels so strongly for. This time, Murray has no room to sulk, as a platoon of The Grizz’s guards have also found the hideout. Murray realizes he has to hold them off to give Bob a chance to go after Lop, and remembers, “When the plan gets messed up, always fall back on the golden rule: Break Stuff!”

From here on out, the mission is split between sequences of Bob chasing after the Lop through regular and QTE climbing and Murray punching and QTE brawling his way through the hordes.

In the end, Bob manages to catch up to the skunk, who has run into the trap of another squad of The Grizz’s guards. With too many guards for Bob to handle on his own, and his rival holding to his prizes for dear life, the cave raccoon is forced to choose between his cane and Murray’s moonstone. He chooses the stone and comes back to a hippo with KO’d guards all around him and an emotional weight on his shoulders. Murray of course feels bad about messing things up and costing Bob his cane, but Bob shows no regrets, not just because he trusts the gang can get it back, but because the moonstone is his way of showing thanks for all Murray did for him. Murray is thankful, though he still feels lousy about it all.

The prehistoric skunk’s journey comes to an end in the big operation, where we see him trading the cane to The Grizz in exchange for sacks of eggs the bear seems to have no interest in. When all is said and done, the skunks has brought the eggs to his village only to find he got swindled for a bag of ’Grizz Original Easter Egg-Colored Rocks’. In return for his failure, the skunk is ousted from the tribe while the fit and ready Bob is welcomed back with open arms. Him and Murray have a moment together before the gang sets off to their next target. At the outro’s end, we see Bob has made a little shrine for the moonstone, complete with a cave painting (better than anything The Grizz could do, might I add) of the hippo who cherished it and the koala it’s meant for.

Of Mice and Mechs
It should be noted this episode was one heavily featured in my dream, and the story really shifts gears here.

With the mystery of the technologically superior Black Knight on everyone’s minds, the gang sets out to save Sir Galleth, dethrone the oversized despot, and set things to right. It’s not easy though, especially as the mechanical guards are aided by spotlight-inducing owls that bring every guard in a large radius running in. If the gang wants to ever sneak about and save Sir Galleth from the circus, those eyes in the sky have to go.

As a prerequisite warmup with Sly’s new archer costume, Bentley has him shoot a few down to prove the arrow’s strength and also for research. After all, a tinkerer always has a signature, and the inner workings of the owls could provide a clue to The Black Knight’s identity. At least they would if they didn’t self-destruct when Sly tried to grab hold. This gives Bentley a frightful chill, but he brushes it off as the team needing to save Galleth fast.

As the missions continue on, we come to Galleth and Carmelita’s row with the mechanical moat monster. As the inspector downs the mighty beast and saves Galleth from its stomach, the knight claims to have overheard a mocking transmission. The voice is indistinguishable, and all Galleth could make out was, “Stay out of my way…must protect...”.

Next comes the mission where Bentley trails the Black Knight by himself, going through several hacking phases before the knight drops the name of his missing love Penelope. One more hack job later and the Black Knight comes upon a set of heavily locked doors in the workshop.

The suit opens up revealing The Black Knight to be…

…another one of those skunks the gang has been running into. The wheelchaired genius is about to sleep dart the skunk into next week when his target pulls out a device that makes the sound of Bentley screaming in agony. Curiosity forces Bentley to hold off as he uses his RC car to spy through a vent.


To his shock, he finds the skunk having a one-sided conversation with a chained-up Penelope, toiling over a rather large missile launcher. The skunk makes it very clear to the mouse that he isn’t happy with the destruction of the moat monster or his owls and demands higher quality. Penelope shows no sign of hearing until the skunks plays another moan of pain from his ‘live audio feed’, implying more harm will come to his prisoner if she continues to falter. This cows the mouse, though only enough to keep her head down.
Shocked by this revelation to the point where the Black Knight leaves under his watch, Bentley forces himself into a quick plan of attack. His RC car needs to get closer for his voice to reach his beloved, so his car races against a laser-stuffed vent system to make it to a more adequate opening.

Penelope is beyond ecstatic at hearing Bentley is okay, before turning furious at realizing she’d been played a fool with a fake recording. She claims she’ll explain everything once freed and quickly fires the operational missile launcher at her cell wall.

With the city now on high alert, the duo need more than their brains to get to safety, which is where Penelope reveals a special RC owl she was using to try and find Bentley. What follows is a fight against both ground forces and her other ‘prototype’ owls, giving the two a distraction to leg it back to the hideout. Not enough of a distraction though, as a stray shot hurtles straight for Penelope’s back. Bentley manages to push her out of the way, but his easy target of a chair isn’t so lucky. The turtle is knocked out and Penelope is forced to carry him the remainder of the way.

After the celebratory return of Penelope is over and Bentley put to bed, the mouse gives the whole story. One night as she was out on a relaxing walk, she was hypnotized into following a certain skunk to his museum hideout. Through description, Carmelita pieces together that she means Cyrille LeParadox. From there, she recounts how LeParadox forced her to work first on his own time machine, then on the mechanical forces and projects being made in the settlement, all through making her believe Bentley was captured and held via shock collar, with a special lethal surprise should she get a nasty burst of courage.

She refuses to leave Bentley’s side until he recovers, almost lost in a trance over how happy she is that he came to save her, but she does give one final hint: She built the armor, but she also built it’s cracks.

As the episode goes on, both Sly and Carmelita have a moment where they watch Penelope and Bentley’s combined state. This leads to a very heartfelt scene where the game gives us a truncated flashback to Dr.M’s final fight from the third game with Sly risking his life to save Carmelita, letting out everything he had while she recounts the rage and sorrow she experienced as she blasted the monkey to submission before rushing to the fallen Cooper.

With the brains of the team out of commission, the episode goes on as usual, up until the final mission, where Sir Linsel LeParadox takes over the giant mechsuit Penelope’s efforts had created, boasting that it’s his accomplishment. As Sly brings down the monstrosity, he gets caught under it and it seems Linsel is about to crush him before a series of smoke bombs cover the raccoon’s escape. The smoke clears to reveal Bentley and Penelope in a dual headed bot made from the remains of the moat monster. The two bring the skunk down for the last time, Penelope getting an extra whack in for good measure, before rushing to the rest of the gang.

For the rest of the game, Penelope is a part of the gang, utilizing tech similar to Bentley’s while having a portable, Aliens-style exosuit that gives her a combination of Murray’s strength and Carmelita’s high jump, at the cost of the suit and it’s user being fragile and needing to rebuild if damaged enough.

The outro to this mission hints to the part LeParadox really plays in this whole mess, with the gang realizing his many ancestors they found over their travels.

The Four Thieves
Within the introduction, Penelope is quick to point out the elephantine Ms.Decibel as the one who hypnotized her into LeParadox’s clutches. Realizing he could be in trouble, the gang set out to find Salim Al’Cupar. With some help from Penelope’s RC owl drone and the Cooper DNA map Bentley cooks up, the gang finds Salim and he gives them the rundown on the situation, along with a note about the Arabian dressed skunk at her beck and call; who calls himself Rajah Lep’Arodocs.

By now, both the gang and the audience has a good idea about LeParadox, so, in theory, it should make his appearance in the episode far less sudden. Adding to the humor of the mission is how the two skunks are almost identical, yet Ms.Decibel cares only for Cyrille’s words over the more doting Rajah.

While Bentley deciphers and analyzes the documents Cyrille has the three retired thieves forging, Penelope is on call to help plant a bug in Ms.Decibel’s office. In this mission, we see more of the almost fanboyish way Rajah fauns over the elephant and her music choices, much to her annoyance. This annoyance is turned to rage as she blames him when rock-and-roll starts blaring through the office. Despite the pummeling he receives, Rajah sticks by her afterwards.

As an extra side mission, we have Penelope showing off her new suit’s powers, deciding to time herself how fast she can gets a some plants she needs for a very special concoction. Completing this race over the time limit doesn’t lead to a fail, but going under does reward a PSN trophy. This unlocks several more speed challenges throughout the game for more trophies and a ton of coins.
In the final, big operation, (in keeping with changing as little as possible) Carmelita is still set to go through her belly dancing routine, though just long enough for Bentley to dart the distracted guards with a special long-term sleep dart formula Penelope cooked up.
But the gang finds themselves walking into a trap as Cyrille, Rajah and Ms.Decibel are waiting for them. At a prompt from Cyrille (after Rajah fails to do likewise) Ms.Decibel sends a hypnotic blast that catches Murray and Carmelita in it’s grip, forcing the remaining gang into a tag-team fight before giving Sly the opportunity to go after Ms.Decibel.

Upon completion of the fight, Murray is freed, but Carmelita has just enough of the spell in her to leap to the blimp and take pot shots at Sly. When she has the perfect shot however, she fights the hypnotically-induced order, prompting an annoyed Cyrille to knock her out, getting away with her and the documents proclaiming his false royal lineage. As a final joke, Rajah tries to catch the falling Ms.Decibel, only to be crushed under her pachyderm weight.

Final Mission
From here, much of the game is as it was before. The ancestors get their canes back one by one and a captured Sly and Carmelita are taunted by Cyrille. Though Penelope figures she could take control of the blimp via a secret kill switch she put in if things went really south for her, the fumbling of LeParadox ensures not only did the console for such got destroyed, but he finally instigated the major flaw Penelope had put into The Time Tunnel: It’s absolute frailty.

Thus begins the final battle, as LeParadox grumbles over the worthless reputation his family has thanks to the Cooper Clan. In the fight’s final stage however, Sly makes an important point to the villainous skunk. Cyrille had a great plan; retroactively making himself ruler of the world by essentially stealing history. But not only did he target Sly’s ancestors, but his antics and the resulting multi-era chase caused his family to crumble to the low station it was in, not only exposing his operation because of his ego but so blinded to anything else that he crushed his own family to do so.

And it’s here where the series comes full circle. In the final battle of Sly 1, Sly states that his family legacy doesn’t create great thieves, but rather it takes great thieves to make the legacy. Now we have a lazy, backstabbing excuse of a thief singlehandley causing the downfall of his own legacy. In fact, with how his teammates didn’t care for his ancestors, it can be inferred Cyrille was only doing it to bolster his own status rather than his whole family line.

I wish I could change the ending, but I have to stick to my rule as much as I can stomach. So sadly, Sly’s fate is still the same. Penelope being back in the team’s good graces doesn’t change that the time machine being useless to hunt for their friend and they can’t even use piece of The Time Tunnel’s specifications as Penelope made another flaw where the codes got wiped in case she sabotaged the project and Cyrille had to rebuild.

So, Sly is stuck in Egypt, the gang is split though resolute in their hopes, and this experiment is finished.

Maybe Sucker Punch will one day give the series a satisfactory conclusion, but I have long made peace with how Sly 4 ended up. This was just a dream.