Randy and Skrew finally find someone worthy of protecting them from any hostile Digimon: a giant, feral-like wolf named Garurumon.

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Randy was really hoping that that poochyena would come back and lick his feet right about now. He really needed that. Not only did his feet hurt after walking around in the forest for so long, but he felt a bit depressed now. He was lost in the forest—again—he had no idea where his trainer was, he was probably about to be caught in the middle of an interspecies war, and he recently just watched a giant black werewolf pass a feraligatr through his bowels all over a bathroom floor like it was nothing. Randy could still picture the hollow eye sockets of the Pokémon…man that must’ve been a helluva way to die. Skrew obviously wasn’t a big fan of seeing that image either, and was still queasy over the whole ordeal. Both of them were currently roaming through the forest, dragging their tired feet along the ground as the sun began to rise. Randy sighed and leaned against a tree.

“What are we supposed to do, Skrew?”

“You’re asking me? I told you, I didn’t know about this war until yesterday, and judging by those two Digimon we ran into, it’s real.”

“There’s no one who hinted at this happening? No one slipped you any information, no one confided to you about this—”

“No, Randy! They just attacked us over night like the Chinese!”

“What?”

“Yeah, like how the Chinese attacked Guadalcanal overnight and killed thousands of Scotsmen!”

“…Skrew…that was the Japanese who attacked Pearl Harbor, and killed thousands of Americans. And it happened at dawn.”

“Does that really matter now?!”

“You brought it up; I just figured I might as well correct you.”

“Anyway, Chinese and dead people aside, I say we find someone who will help us on our journey.”

“I thought I saw Lucario a half-hour ago but it may have just been my imagination.”

“Lucario?! That’s the one Pokémon who’d be of excellent value to use right now! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

Randy scratched his scalp. “Maybe it was just me, but it smelled like he was defecating… I figured you didn’t want to be around him while he was doing that since you got so sick after seeing that Digimon go in the bathroom.”

“Good call, but that doesn’t really help us right now, does it?”

The treecko rolled his eyes. “We need to think of a plan, Skrew, not bitch about whose fault it is that we’re in our current predicament.”

“So you’re agreeing it’s your fault.”

Randy ignored him. “Okay, since you won’t give me any answers I’ll just make up my own. …Hmm…got it! What if I just sniff out another Pokémon?”

“Sniff?”

“Yeah! I told you, I have an astounding nose. If we’re lucky, I can sniff out a Pokémon that’s nearby and we can ask him or her for help!”

“So our plan is to use you as a smell hound.”

“Do you have a better fucking idea Skrew?!!?”

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Twenty minutes of relentless sniffing later, Randy stumbled upon a familiar Pokémon standing next to a thick tree, twitching uncontrollably. It was a cubone, who looked like he hadn’t been harmed overnight.

“See? I told you I have an amazing nose Skrew.”

“Huh…guess you proved me wrong. Let’s go talk to him!”

Randy grabbed the sandslash’s left hand and held him back.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s another monster around here…I think it’s a Digimon.”

As Skrew and Randy were going to charge after the cubone, they saw a feral wolf-like beast with periwinkle and white fur with dark blue stripes walk over towards the cubone and growl softly.

“Oh shit!”

Randy and Skrew jumped into a nearby bush and hid in silence. The treecko surreptitiously peeked through the leaves to observe this new beast and see what it was capable of. It wasn’t jet black like the previous two Digimon, nor did it smell as foul, so that was a plus. However, the beast was huge and still looked powerful enough to crack open their skulls with its jaw. The cubone looked at the periwinkle beast and chuckled before the animal smirked and turned sideways, its ass and hind legs pointed at the bush Randy and Skrew were hiding in. Randy raised an eyebrow, curious at what the canine was going to do, before he heard loud trickling in the distance and heard the cubone sigh with relief. Randy noticed a yellow arc emerging from his nether region and knew that he was peeing all over the tree. The treecko muttered something inaudibly before he looked at the periwinkle beast and heard it chuckle before it lifted its right hind leg and began to piss all over the tree too. Judging by its method of urination, the beast was male. Skrew wasn’t paying attention, too fearful to even open his eyes, but he stopped whimpering for a moment once the strong scent of the beast’s urine crept into his nose. Randy just squatted there in the bush, unsure of what he should do. On one hand, the beast looked menacing, a bit hungry, and definitely tough enough to kick anyone’s ass. On the other hand, he wasn’t doing anything but urinating beside the cubone. …He sure was going too. The cubone didn’t stand a chance; the beast’s thick trail of yellow waste was creating a puddle so big it almost spread over to his feet. It didn’t even look sterile; no way could piss that dark be safe to touch, and the smell was almost as acrid as ammonia. Randy covered his nose and let out two muffled coughs before he backed away from the two and watched them piss in silence. The treecko and sandslash squatted behind the bush, hearing nothing but the obnoxious noise of the urine trickling against the tree bark and into the grass for five minutes or so before the noise began to die down. The cubone sighed heavily again and released the remaining drops of urine from his groin right around the same time the periwinkle beast put his leg down and stopped peeing, surprised at how large the yellow puddle underneath his body was. The beast and the cubone turned towards each other and started to have a casual conversation, as though they were best friends. Randy began to relax.

“Skrew, I don’t think this guy’s a hostile. We should be able—”

The Ground-type Pokémon ignored Randy and extended his claws, charging towards the feral wolf while emitting an ear-piercing battle cry. Skrew wasn’t one to be brave during these kinds of situations, but he was tired of cowering away in a bush waiting for the beast to kill him. If he was gonna go down, he might as well go down fighting. The sandslash jumped into the air, attracting the attention of the animal and the cubone, and swiped his claws against the creature’s fur. Skrew landed on the ground while panting a little and turned around to face the animal. To his surprise, the animal didn’t have a scratch on its hind.

“My fur’s tougher than steel.” he said, in a particularly guttural voice.

Skrew looked down at his claws and gasped as he watched both sets of claws slowly slide to the ground, as though someone just lasered them in half. The animal’s fur was so tough that Skrew’s own claws couldn’t penetrate it, and he wound up ruining a good set of claws.

“Awwww, son of a bitch!” moaned Skrew.

“Stop whining, Skrew. They’ll grow back around this time tomorrow.” said Randy, coming out of his hiding spot.

“Who are you guys?” asked the beast.

“I should be asking you the same thing. You’re not one of those evil guys who have been going around attacking us Pokémon?”

“Nope. My name is Garurumon. Unlike all the Digimon who have been going around killing you guys, I’m a Vaccine Digimon, which means I go around helping others in a time of need. Once I and the other Vaccine Digimon heard about the war, we rushed over to lend a hand…paw.”

“Yeah. This guy’s been my bodyguard for the past seven hours.” said the cubone.

“That’s great! Now we have our own muscle-bound beast to protect us from any harm!” said Skrew.

Garurumon suddenly walked over to Randy and started to vigorously sniff his feet, dabbing his wet nose in-between the toes and on the top of the foot.

“I KNOW, DAMNIT!” shouted the treecko, shoving Garurumon away in frustration.

“Sorry…I thought I smelled cheese.”

“Anyway, what happened to you guys?” asked the cubone.

“I was sleeping against a tree and when I woke up, Skrew grabbed my hand and told me to run away from these monsters. We hid in the bathroom for a while as the monsters chased after us, but as you can see, they weren’t smart enough to find us.”

“They were smart enough to gross us out…”

“Yeah, that too. One of ‘em was a tall, black werewolf monster, and the other—”

“The other was a giant, black armor-plated anthro dragon-looking Digimon, right?” interrupted Garurumon.

“…Yeah.”

“That must’ve been ShadowWereGarurumon and BlackWarGreymon. Those two have been causing a lot of commotion lately. If it hadn’t been for me, they would’ve gotten to your little friend over here with the skull on his head.”

“Do you know how many Digimon are opposing us?”

“Yeah, and who started this war?” asked Skrew.

Garurumon shook his head. “Don’t act like you guys are the only ones in danger here. All the Virus Digimon are trying to wipe us out too, and anyone who doesn’t join them is either corrupted or forced to join or is killed.”

“I’m guessing you don’t wanna join them.” concluded Randy.

“Like I said, I’m a Vaccine Digimon. I fix problems, not cause them.”

“Well, since you’re such a problem fixer, what’s the plan from here on out?” asked Skrew.

“You guys hop on my back and I’ll take you over to our Digimon base so we can discuss a plan of attack and/or rescue.”

“How do we know that you’re not a secret Virus Digimon in disguise who is gonna take us to the enemy instead?”

“Because I’ve been talking to you for over three minutes now and I still have no desire to kill and/or torture either of you. Although, I wouldn’t mind licking the green one’s feet. What was your name again?”

“Randy…and I’d like that.”

“But that’s enough talk for now. Hop on my back and I’ll get you to the base in no time!”

Garurumon turned around and lowered his curly tail, waiting for the cubone, Randy, and Skrew to get aboard his back. Randy and the cubone jumped on top of the periwinkle canine while Skrew looked at Garurumon with much apprehension.

“Um…are-are you sure this is safe?”

“No Skrew, he’s gonna haul all three of us behind an alleyway and rape us until our bowels are ruptured.”

“Don’t even joke about that shit. If you do end up betraying us and start killing all of us, all I ask is that you don’t torture me by making me watch you defecate.”

“…You guys must’ve really seen something disturbing last night.” said the cubone.

“You have no idea.”

Garurumon waited for Skrew to hop on his back behind Randy before he started to head for the Digimon base. Randy and Skrew still had no idea what was going on yet, but they were hoping to find some answers soon so they could be reunited with their Pokémon friends.