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Waking up Early


You woke up, blanketed in softness and warmth, enveloped in darkness and a cozy sense of proximity. Your eyes opened slowly to the dimmed light in your girlfriend’s room, a place you had gotten so used to and comfortable with that it almost felt like home away from home. While it was only a rather basic apartment and you two would sleep on a futon right on the floor, it projected a level of coziness you had trouble replicating in your own home.

Though you knew it was helped that whenever you were there, she was there too. You two had met years ago, by accident really, you were just outside for a walk, resting on a bench when she asked whether she could take a seat next to you. A shared bench turned into a conversation, a conversation turned into a “see you again”, and seeing her again turned into seeing her regularly, until you two spent most of your days together.

She had always had a cheerful spirit and it felt like the winds of spring in your heart when you saw her smile at you. You felt the energetic warmth of summer when you two were laughing together and the melancholic rains of autumn when she tended to your sadness. And ultimately, you also felt the silent peace of winter when you two were comfy, cuddled up together and drifting off to sleep, just like you had yesterday evening.

You felt her embrace on you and smiled, she had to be asleep still, with her arms wrapped around you from behind. Usually she was the one to awaken first and wake you up with soft cuddling and the warmth of her breath on you, if not a soft humming coming from her. But since you woke up on your own, it had to be something like half past nine already, certainly a good time to get up. Now that your mind cleared a little, you noticed that her embrace felt a bit off, heavier than usual, though you were sure it was probably just because you had moved unfortunately in your sleep.

You reached for her hand just below your chest and felt her arm, weirdly fuzzy, not smooth like her skin usually was. Was she wearing long sleeved pyjamas? You couldn’t remember her having put any on while you were awake, though that didn’t have to mean much, she probably just put on a bit more clothing when she got cold.
Finally, you reached the end of her arm and felt something you didn’t expect. Instead of her delicate fingers and cool hands, you felt something warm, fuzzy, much larger than her hand. Uncertain, you grasped it further, her fingers felt shorter and stubbier, weirdly swollen or padded underneath. You were already starting to worry, but it took you feeling something thin and sharp -like claws- at the end of her fingers. You flinched at the realization, this was no human hand at all! If it even was a hand to begin with.

Heart pounding and hands trembling, you felt it a bit more, squeezing it lightly and feeling its shape in detail, the pads under her fingers, the claws curving forward, the large pad on her palm… you felt like you were holding a paw instead of a hand! Now you were fully awake, wondering just who -or what- you were sleeping next to. Whatever it was, your squeezing had woken it up as it began to move slightly behind you. Struggling, you tried to move out from the heavy grip of the paws, whirling around to look behind you.

What you saw made you shiver with your mouth agape in disbelief. Instead of looking into the so familiar face your friend, you looked into that of a white fox with black-tipped ears and big blue eyes… the same color as hers. The fox looked just as surprised as you did, blinking the tiredness out of its eyes and its looks rapidly filling with panic. With both of you feeling like this, getting apart was easy, too easy in fact, as you stumbled backwards and landed on your rear, lying on the ground. The fox meanwhile stood on all fours, tails -multiple tails- raised! You could count at least seven, but they were difficult to make out in the wall of fur they made up.

A moment of silence passed, you could clearly see the fox looking at the closed door behind you, almost as if it wanted to flee, but couldn’t. Finally its unsettled eyes turned toward you and you swore you could hear it taking a deep breath, but then it opened its maw and words came floating out: “I- I’m sorry! Y-you’re not supposed to- to see me like this!”

It was panicked, stuttery, high pitched, but it was a voice you knew. It was *her* voice. Taken aback by the huge talking fox in front of you, a realization began to sink in, one that you were not sure what to feel about: “Is… is it really you?”
The fox stepped a bit closer again and nodded, answering in a much more silent voice: “Yes… it’s me…”

Without any other warning, the face of the fox began to change, the muzzle beginning to shorten, the eyes changing shape slightly and the ears repositioning. Her entire body began to follow suit, her back arching a bit, shoulders widening and paws turning into hands. Her body got a bit smaller again, back to what you were used to, even though it was still covered in fur. Seeing the change in front of your own eyes was unsettling, the way her body moved and shifted, it felt like you wanted to look away but couldn’t, captivated by the transformation. Her face still ended in a muzzle, but her eyes were so familiar again, it really was her face, despite still looking like that of a fox.

It was at this halfway point between human and animal that you could no longer bear it and looked away, closing your eyes shut and shivering slightly. In the dark, you could hear the changes come to a stop, the little sounds you only noticed now, the sounds of stretching and soft clunking from her changing body. They finally settled and came to a hold, while she whispered another apology: “I’m sorry. I know this is difficult for you to see.”

You opened one eye again to still see her in this halfway state, but her form settled, no longer changing in front of you. Like this, she resembled an anthropomorphic fox, still covered in fur and with a short muzzle, but also notably human again. She had fallen to her knees, sitting in front of you with a concerned look in her eyes. She spoke up again, quiet, but clearer than before: “If you want me to I can go to a different room quickly to continue my transformation there.”

You just shook your head and gulped slightly to clear your dry throat: “N-no, it’s fine. If you’re not uncomfortable you can just stay like this.”

“My comfort is entirely based on whether you are comfortable, dear,” she lowered her head slightly, “if this form makes you uncomfortable I can simply turn into a human again.”

You looked up to meet her eyes, sharing a long silence, where your looks did the talking, until you brought forth: “I’m… alright. This is just a lot to take in at once.”

“I’m sorry I never told you,” she whispered, “I’ve just been worried that if I told you that I’m a fox spirit in reality, you’d think I’m crazy or left me. I was… just happy to have found you. I didn’t want to let this go.”

Her last words were almost inaudibly quiet, but carried a lot of impact. You felt the same way, so happy to be with her, so unwilling to let her go. Without saying anything, eyes closed, you just reached out your trembling hand slowly, toward her. It felt like a desperate cling to her, tapping in the darkness, hoping to find something to hold onto. And something you found. Soft, warm, elegant, her hand gently pressed against yours. You opened your eyes again to see her white and black paw-hand pressed against your human one, a weird duality. Your fingers were trembling still, but her hand felt nice and steady, truly something to give you stability in a shaky situation. And there it was, that feeling of autumn rain, soft and still a bit warm, washing over you and cleansing your mind so tenderly. You looked up to her and saw a warm smile on her face, something that just beamed positivity into you. Your fingers interlocked slowly, you holding her hand and her holding yours. Calmed by her smile you slowly leaned forward, toward her, noticing she answered in kind, moving her head closer too. Your foreheads bumped into each other softly, giving you a tactile sensation of the short, but smooth fur on her face, instilling impulses in you to stroke it like you would with a small cat -or fox- in this case.

You closed your eyes again and took a deep breath. Her scent was still the same lovely note that you had gotten so attached to over the last few years, did you just never notice the fur in it? You smiled, she had always been full of mysteries, one of the things you liked about her so much. A sense of calm and certainty washed over you, even as your noses touched and you felt the cool wetness of her black button nose on yours. You weren’t sure you could kiss her like this, but this was the next best thing. Deep happiness welled up in you and with a voice so low, but so determined it made her ears twitch, you said those three words that had been on your mind for so long now: “I love you.”

A short wince went through her, but you could tell it was one of surprise and ultimate relief, like a shudder after realizing everything would be alright. You two separated again and you saw a smile on her face with her eyes almost a bit teary and her voice cracking slightly: “I love you too!”

This air of relief and happiness, trust and love made you feel all woozy. You had butterflies in your stomach, you felt it tickle inside you as all the tension released again and shook you slightly. A chuckle made its way out of you, disbelieving and yet happy with this all. She chuckled a bit too, which prompted you to start giggling and laughing, the two of you just happy to have each other, falling into each other’s arms as you giggled happily and held each other tight. You took a long time to just be happy in each other’s embrace, you taking time to get used to her feeling like this and her getting used to you being aware of her hugging you in a body like this. What a joy that you had each other.

Half an eternity passed this way, and when you finally let go of each other you felt satisfied, ready to take on whatever the day would bring. She still smiled, tears of long repressed worry having dried and talked with her normal, friendly voice: “That was pretty intense, huh?”
“Yeah,” you nodded.
“How about we have some breakfast, I’m sure we can both use it.”
“Absolutely,” you nodded again, noticing your stomach growl a bit.
She got up, helping you with her now much stronger arms before mentioning: “Just let me put on some clothes first.”
“Clothes?” You ask, a bit befuddled.
She giggled one of her heavenly summer giggles: “Just because my body is covered in fur doesn’t mean I’m not completely in the nude right now~”

You blushed lightly, a bit embarrassed not to have noticed. In response she just giggled and gave your cheek a little lick as she headed to her closet: “You can go heat up water already, I’ll be right over.”

You looked down and asked the question burning on your mind: “Will you still… be in this form?”

She turned around with a curious look: “If you want me to.”

Still a bit embarrassed you tapped your fingers together: “Y-yes, I like the way you look. A-and I want to get used to seeing you like this of course!”

She grinned: “Of course you do. Don’t worry, I’ll be right over, darling, and then you can get used to my form all you want~”

You just giggled abashedly. You could get used to this.