I definitely understand the feeling there, even if I am only almost 19

gem, dont ever be afraid of saying something, just because it might offend someone. often times it needs to be said, common sense can tell you when its a bad idea but that isnt the same as being afraid.

You are very special. *picks up and holds while giving her grub*

That is sooo adorable.
For me this one of the reasons I perfer five irl my family and even others do this to me tons but its always mean stuff the idea of being talked about as if not there is so not positive to me but I can see how it makes you feel little and its sweet

its never a positive thing when people are being mean ari, but i was just trying to say that you could say the most meanest things in the whole world to gem and she wouldnt understand it which is a good thing...i think

I know it's sweet and an adorable pic

*sends hugs*

cute pic ^^

I know how it feels to want to get away from reality sometimes. I'm right there with you when it comes to the bullying and former suicidal thoughts (I was thirteen when I had my attempt, thankfully my only one). An abusive father, very few friends, and a lot of social anxiety made growing up a very uncomfortable experience.

We all have our escapes from that. I lose myself in video games where I can be the hero (or sometimes villain) and fight worse monsters than any human, you like to be childish and babied while being too young and innocent to understand when people are being mean.

But yah, I can relate. *offers hugs*

Oh I did. I just fucked it up and wound up in a mental institution for six months instead of dead.

Thankfully I was thirteen and didn't have a clue what the hell I was doing or else I might've pulled it off.

I'm agnostic myself, but I do have to admit I'm rather pleased I'm not dead.

Im glad yoor not dead too. *hugs* I was 15 when I almost did it, but that was a pretty dark year for me and well yeah...im not dead either, so thats good too.

*hugs back* Its weird, I look back now and I know if I just shoved my way through public school half of the problems I had would've gone away, but back then all I could think about was how miserable I was.

Guess time really does heal all wounds.

I can sympathize Gemma dear. I have many of the same problems and was even bullied to the brink myself all through Jr. High and High school and was unable to do anything because the staff and principle were worthless and didn't do their jobs (zero tolerance my fat american arse) and I agree Being able to let go of all that baggage by reverting to cub hood is extremely helpful. Even my psychologist admitted it was good once he saw how much it was helping me. (i didn't really start regressing until about a year ago and i've been seeing him for 3 years) so lets say HURRAY FOR BEING A CUB AGAIN. and go play in the sandbox of youth with our nappies Proudly showing and our favorite plushies and spades.

I know how you feel there. it took a lot for me to get over some of my issues. being a little for time to time was really helpful, mostly in that time where I went insane for a couple months.

I have some of same issues and i will never get over them. I tried to end it all more times than I can count but the kindness and joy in your art helps.
so I hope you know what a gift you have so thank you so very much.

*hugs yoo lots* fankyoo Welshie

I can't say I've felt what you feel but I understand. Some people have a set idea of what the world is and how people should act. If anyone or anything is even remotely different or or beyond their dull and limited scope of understanding, they criticise it and try to pushit out of the way, udually in a mean way. They reason people are bullied, I think, is BECAUSE they are special. Chin up cuz! (Squirrels are cousins to munks no?)

yep squigs and munks are cousins :D *hugs*

Well, they said ignorance is bliss, right?...

yeah sadly as adults its not quite so easy to be like that though. I guess people expect you to have opinions, what im not very good at though is keeping my opinion to myself. I need to practice that more often or at the very least, think before I speak

Screw the naysay and be happy with yourself. I know the feeling of low self-esteem because it was crushed by bullies also, but I may not know you in real life but I can just tell you're kind hearted, Gemmie. Don't let the fools ruin your life

I can't say anything else but that I completely agree with being a babyfur can be addictive. Getting away from reality in such a way feels too great to not want it all the time.

But! I don't agree with you saying you're nothing special. Maybe not in your own eyes, but in the eyes of others, you really are.

About being offensive accidentally... well, babies speak their minds, they can't tell if they're gonna be offensive or not. And while it may come off as rude sometimes, I think speaking your mind is a very amazing trait to have, and you shouldn't think of it as a negative aspect of yourself.

would she be clueless when we cuddle her? :3

you Gem you and I a lot like I really mean it in some aspect,I bin lucky so far in furry fandom that when I do make a mistake they for give me a lot the time I know step on people feet a lot in the fandom,lucky for me tho I got a lot great friends both online and offline

If you have people around you who still strive to be there and enthusiastically give you their love, there's really no question about it; you are worth it. :)

As for the picture, I can't help but feel as though I can easily be the one saying those things about adorable, oblivious little Gemma. XD

I think this is particularly relevant: "A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much."

Theyre things I hear lots of parents say about their kids, and im sure that one day if I have kids i'll probably say some of those things too. I like being talked over as if I cant understand whats going on around me. It comforts me for some reason, like I dont matter, Im not expected to have to understand the situation, im just existing :) and getting on with things whilst the rest of the world carries on regardless. *hugs yoo super tight*

Those comments in your drawing are problems I had as a child and the issues you talk about in the description are very similar to ones I've had.

*hugs* I think these issues resound in a lot of people. I think it helps knowing there are others out there with similar problems

Kinda wish you had my experience...
The most "bullying" I encountered was light teasing (but I was a wuss as a kid). Most people liked me and were friendly towards me, especially in high school.

Of course, if you had my experience, you probably wouldn't have squandered it. You wouldn't chase after the 1% who DIDN'T like you, and you wouldn't spend all your time at school doing school work.
I guess we all have regrets... :-/

Gem, I think a lot of us have similar issues, (know that I do) and I think that our furryness is a part of our "happy place" where we can escape ourselves for a little while. You and your art is a HUGE part of that "happy place" for us. Your innocent and gentle drawings always makes me smile, even on the worstest days.

well i gotta say i wanna snuggle her a lot. is that wrong???

Everyone has their fair share of battle scars, Gemma. But don't worry. You have a husband who loves you, and a God who loves you more than you realize. Life is love, so do not worry about what may come.

aww gem gives ooh cuddles and a big loli

*huggles tight* ill always b here for u, no more bullies , im here if ya need to talk sweetie

As long as you've got a Grub and a comfy sleeper, you don't need to understand anything else! ^.^

*nods* yep yep zeezee, thats the idea hehe

Haters gonna hate.

*HUGS* Bullies are no fun, I knoed *hugs*

i know that feeling all to well in public school I was the biggest target in the whole school

I first saw this and immediately thought of myself, because I am most if not all of those ideas in real life, including while I was growing up. I know for a fact people will talk negatively behind my back or become blunt and tell it to me straight, and being honest is not always bad. Growing up and even today, I have been known to be an honest young man, sometimes to the point of saying something I shouldn't, and that was partly due to my mental disability. However, being honest shows that you see the truth in something, and that is always a great quality to have. With what you have done here and how I have grown up, it shows that we can be honest about everything and be OK with it. That is one of the coolest things I have seen about this fandom, everyone has a different side to themselves, but are OK with being honest about it when they have truly looked at themselves as a person. So long as you keep up with the good things we love about you as an artist, and don't cause any harm to yourself or others, you can be sure that no one will think negatively of you.

i feel you gemma.... i hear the same things but i dont listen

Believe me, I know how it feels to be put down, so does Anthony. We each had been ridiculed over the years for different things. Worse of all Depression runs in my family and I even considered the unthinkable at the very young age of 12. We don't exactly have low self-esteem, but we are each our own worse enemies.

Besides, Anthony and I think that you're very special. We've been following you since you started. I mean just look at what you were able to achieve in a year on this site alone. The two of us together aren't able to do what you can do alone. And while you may not think that it's really that great, well, it helps inspire others to keep moving as well.

You are something special, you just need a little pick-me-up every now and then.

No puns intended of course…

Gem, as someone who isn't in the AB/DL life, this has to be the best explanation of "why I do it" I've ever read. I feel like I understand it a lot better after this. I can totally relate too, we all have our means of dealing with the lows that comes with daily life.

In fairness, this is why I do it. But different people do this sort of thing for different reasons I guess *hugs* but im glad I was able to help you understand a little bit *shy hugs*

Gem... let's face it. If you don't "grow up" by the time you're our age (thirtysomethings), then you don't really HAVE to. >w>

"There's no point in being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes..."
-The Fourth Doctor

*huggies Gemmy and whimpews* I undewstand mew!

*hugs*

Damn that Toddlergirl, she's so good at making art!

...Was that talking behind your back?

LOL no, cause yoo told me about it silly *giggling an hugs*

Awwww, I'm glad you can let go like that. Its still too difficult for me to do. I can only imagine what it must be like to be that blissfully carefree. ^^

Gemmy! Need bear hug!

"You are cute little girl!"

Don't sweat it, Gem. I know the feeling.

For some reason, this pic reminds me of the Eminem songs "Hailie's Song" and "Beautiful".

Don't ever feel ashamed of who you are, Gemma--you speak from the heart, and that makes you infinitely more "real" than most of the people I've met. I think it's really amazing how you are able to channel so much of your feelings into your artwork. You are allowing your friends and loved ones to see a part of yourself that you feel couldn't be expressed otherwise, and to be honest it makes me feel more that a bit privileged.^x^

My mom was told I would never tie my shoes, never talk, never walk yet I can do a hell lot for someone with Aspbergers and ADHD(the real one not the made up one(grew up when there was not chemicals in our water, land and ate fresh homemade foods) . (I was even bullied for my disability and the way I was learning, which I learned at a slower pace), so don't feel lonely know the feeling.

Hugs

I deal with a little bit of the low self esteem thing myself, really sucks. Helps when you have others around that make you feel not so alone. *hugs*

I just graduated out of high school and I had a lot of stress on my life and I had a old Freind harassing me and she threaten me that she was going to kill her self about five to six times and I talked her out of it I had when I hear about any one killing them selfs but every time I hear that I wish I can be there to smack them for thinking about doing that but I had the stress of moving, my grate grandma close to death, I just got fired from my job and she added to all my stress I was dilling with this for four to five years I thought about doing suaside but I thought about that five times and each time I think it would be retarded to kill myself but I'm still here any I'm 18 almost 19

But luckly I have friends and family and a place to go to, to get out and away from my problems and I got games that I can try to get all my stress out

*hugs* im sorry you had to go through all that stress. *quiet hugs*

Hugs back thanks

*huggles*
I'm so pleased that you have that release Gem, I wish I could find that, things like that have kinder left me a little resentful and bitter. I wish you didn't have to deal with self esteem issues, I know how limiting they can be, they have almost paralised me over the years.

I know the feeling, I was kinder sweet, shy and naive till school, then I had a string of people who hated me for that or wanting to get on. Teachers who called me a "devil child", told me that being me was wrong and that god would send me to hell for being little or being a girl (gotta love those fire and brimstone church schools) then, after we moved I went to a little bit of a ruff, dead end school where kids that noticed that I was actually a girl and kicked the living daylights out of me for that and trying to achieve or be nice. Those views were very much mirrored at home.

I really was such a fool, not trying to get anyone in to trouble, I often took the blame for fights that broke out or where someone needled me but no matter what I wanted to keep going to get my 100% attendance badge, even if it meant more trips to A&E and more fights with my mum.

I wasn't slow just odd, as a kid it was kinder easy to see that I was a bit aspie, I liked science and computing so well you know... Well I suppose I never did get my head around maths, but never having a maths class that didn't brake down in to rioting might not have helped there and I was late tying my laces or even attempting potty training. I do wonder how much first childhood experiences develop in to ABDL tendencies as it seems a lot of us had ruff times.

Also Gem, it goes without saying if you need a friend, like so many others, I'm here for you, you deserve lots of hugs and friends. You're so sweet to everyone

I know what it feels like. being in a hostile envorinment and having everybody you know physically attacking verbally, emotionally, and rarely, physically as well and whenever they think you're not there or you can't hear them start to mock and humilliate you from behind, just pointing how much they hate you and how miserable and "faulty" you are, being inferior to everybody else just for "being behind the norm". You just wish you could just be there physically, but just lack the mental power to process so much and unnecesary harm. Living on your own little, happy world and just not being aware of all of it. And knowing that all you find on this so-called "tangible, physical" world isjusta net of lies where everyone wants to hurt everyone, specially you if you refuse to be one of them. Always living under the other's espectations and how they think they should govern over your own life and being limited to do what they want me to do, instead of allowing development in areas i am actually adequate at.

I could go with this topic forever, but i feel like that more than helping, it'd make matters worse. So let's focus on the positive. From what i know. You have a somewhat stable life, are somewhat independant, live with someone that appreciates you ( i'm missing details about ths. but from what i've read, that seems to be the case ) and have a job to attend. something that not many people can say they got. ( and probably you've not been on risk of death during months because of previously mentioned hostile envorinment, not counting suicide attempts )

Regarding "Bitting your tounge". You should not. you have a large following. That's true. BUT. something that should be imperative is to be true to oneself, this means that you should always say what do you think or what your issues are regardless of what other people think, though considering if your topic of wording is offensive is something that should be taken into account. But the point still stands. There should not be an issue on letting things out, if it helps somehow or you just want to state something.

Regarding low self steern. Many of us have it. Specialy people who has gone through similar things involving harsh and hostile envorinments and people. You are great, your artwork is great, and you seem to be a great person though. I am sure anybody on this page will agree with me on this. Also. It's always right to seek confort and reassurement in others when there are severe spikes of low self steern ( or just prolongued inferiority complex ) . Many people will be more than glad to be of assistance, specially, when there's actually little to no reason to lack self confidence on one's work ( because, frankly, your work is rather great ) and the affected person, besides being a great individual, is not doing perfectly on the emotional department.

Hopefully you'll feel better soon-ish about this. And remember. Both you, as a person, and your artwork, are amazing. No matter what circumstances you are.

A nightmare eh? I was a hellraiser when I was little and it was awesome =w=

poor lil Gem... i can totally relate to her... even though i don't hear those comments, i know people around me say them...
*hugs*

the people that make those commetns are just dummies you cant fix their own life so they try to take others with them. sometimes you just have to show them love....... not recommending it but i dated a satanist and showed them how to make their life 'worth it' making the world a better pace so that others dont have to go through the same garbage . erm... yep i magnetize trolsl to me jsut so they can waist their time xD my shoutwall is noteworthy lol xD.

Just saw this ...

On the one hand, perhaps talking to a therapist might help with issues like that ...

On the other hand, the therapist might talk to you for several sessions before telling you that you've already found a way to cope with it. :) I dunno.

Interesting, this is actually what created my "little" side. I was named "Matthew" when I was born, meaning "gift from God"... mostly because I wasn't supposed to be. My mom basically started going into premature labor early on and they essentially experimented on her with various "new" drugs (at the time). And the general consensus was that either I wouldn't be born or if I was born I'd be severely genetically screwed. Even after I was born the idiot doctors basically told my parents "not to get too attached" because they were fairly uncertain as to whether I would even make it past age one and even if I did I could be mentally disabled.

Luckily for me, I won the "genetic lottery" of sorts and wound up with incredibly advanced intellect, both on the emotional intelligence level and the purely intellectual side as well. Basically born a genius on both ends of the spectrum, at age 5 I tested within the top 98% of all students in the United States under the "3Rs" test. I wound up with some other fun differences too, mostly positives, a few downsides.

The thing was though, because of those stupid doctors my parents treated me more like a plant than a child for the first year of my life. They rarely cuddled or showed any level of affection at all to me. After age one things started to get slightly better because at that point they figured I wasn't going anywhere, but unfortunately my sister wound up being conceived, an "accident" and generally speaking pregnant mothers aren't all that motherly towards their present children so, again, I wound up basically neglected most of the time.

When my sister was born she then became the "baby" of the family I was then essentially expected to stop, especially when advanced intelligence started kicking in. My dad used to do this thing where he'd flick his pointer finger off his thumb into the side of my head whenever I wasn't acting "grown up" enough.

...yeaaaah, stellar childhood I had. *nods* As a result they basically inflicted me with a wondrous attachment disorder, although in many respects having a "little" side is actually advantageous in numerous respects, so even though my parents were unloving and abusive as hell growing up I can't exactly really hate them for it considering what I got out of it eventually became such a positive thing for me.

"Littles" in general tend to enjoy life on a level that most "bigs" can't even begin to grasp. I find wonder, pleasurable enjoyment and peace in everything from glowsticks to cereal box toys to jumping in puddles to watching raindrops drip down the side of the window. All the things most "bigs" wind up losing through the transition into adulthood, "littles" are able to retain in full.

And, consequently as a result, we have far less overall stress in our lives, which in turn makes us age slower, fight disease better and in general are far healthier on the physical level than most "bigs" are. We have the best of BOTH sides of life, adult level intellect coupled with child like wonder and imagination. ^__^

There's a lot of truth in what you say. Having a little side does seem to impact the aging process. I'm 32 and still get asked for id on a regular basis, even got asked for id trying to buy scissors lol. I'm glad I have this part of me to retreat to. Like you, by the age of 18 months I had a baby sister so suddenly I was expected to be responsible and never really got hugs or the same attention as any of my younger siblings. Being the eldest I was expected to set an example and was often punished for acting childishly so yeah your story really resonates with me.

I was also the academic one in my family as a result I wasn't really allowed to pursue creative tendencies my parents stopped me learning music made me take physics and French instead and it was the same with art they generally discouraged me from those sorts of things. I know they wanted the best for me but I guess if I'd Bern allowed to grow the way I wanted I might have Bern different....actually I'm quite grateful that I'm the person I am today so maybe what they did was the correct thing for me. Lol

I get the feeling from whoever is talking that Gemma is developmentally slow... is that the case?

I have a little side, as I've said before, but it's a bit odd. My little side is a little girl named Katy and unfortunately, I don't get to embrace her much because I work two very physical jobs and am often surrounded by a lot of people. To top it off, my household isn't the most calm or stable and I don't have any RP big brothers or sisters or even a mama or papa. I'm usually the caregiver, which while I enjoy, can be boring sometimes. Sometimes I watch some of my cartoons (I even watch Sofia the First on occasion) and make cute art, but other than that, there's not much of an outlet for Katy. Who knows, maybe Lucile can help me out with that.

I hear ya, I've been in that dark place before.

So have I and to tell you the truth I really need a new life the one I have is so bad that I even thought of doing bad things. I am really 18 but I want to be so yung that I need a momy again to change me feed me clean me and put me to bed as a fox pup. Can any one by my new momy

Im not a baby fur, but i see the atraction, I often feel like im living in hell, and simply want to go back to when i was a baby, free of the world, heres a song that exsplains it better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YasRuLucsCo