~rednoir

Good afternoon, dear friends and subscribers!
First of all, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to you for your constant support. However, I must confess that I am feeling quite exhausted right now. Due to recent tragic events in my life, I am experiencing increased emotional vulnerability. This is not an attempt to gain sympathy or any other kind of attention, but rather an attempt to explain my sudden decision to start journaling.
Either way, I'm tired. Being an artist in today's world can be challenging, as many people find it difficult to compete with artificial intelligence (AI). While neural networks are learning from artists, various art platforms are also joining the fight against AI by banning publications and taking other measures. Some are even collaborating with AI, such as some companies in the gaming industry.
I am also deeply saddened by this, but I don't give up and keep striving to improve my skills. In some aspects I'm still under-experienced, but in others I'm already excelling. (Which has also led to one problem, more on that later). I've been painting for a considerable amount of time now, and art education is closely related to that. This is how I create almost all of my work, “from the general to the particular”, which eventually led to a dissonance I didn't expect - I was accused of using artificial intelligence. I would have moved past the aggressive behavior of the accuser, but it's a sore subject for me. I genuinely don't understand where or how my work resembles that of a neural network smeared on top, as he tells me. So already a friend is teasing me with “you drew badly - you got scolded, you're learning to draw - you got scolded, but you learned to draw - you're a neural network!”. But besides fun, it really stresses me out. I use processing of my own drawings and backgrounds to achieve a certain effect (vintage and so on), I put noise and so on. suddenly I'm poked that some stars are AI. Which is not hatin' for the sake of hatin'?

Me having to prove to a random person that I draw myself is absurd. But if I have to, I'm ready. Such is our modern world. But now for the first time I'm thinking about what to do with drawing videos, I don't know exactly how to do that, haha, I'll figure it out :) I also partially save processes and sketches of my works. And now the question on the agenda is: am I a neural network or is the neural network me? (I mean, AI progresses and learns from live artists)
But if you have any questions for me, we can always discuss it.
Good luck, peace and quiet, everyone. This is not a time for cyberbullying for self-satisfaction.